Jews of Glory, Jews of Disgrace 2006

This is the 2nd annual Jews of Glory, Jews of Disgrace.

Good Jews
T5) Bruce Pearl - Coach of Tennessee's men's basketball team who shvitzes a lot. I like him now that I know he's Jewish and not the heterosexist preacher from tv (of which he bares a striking resemblance to). That makes me a bad exclusive person though.
T5) Russ Feingold - Senator from Wisconsin.
4) That American Idol Jew - He didn't win, but a very attractive female friend of mine said that he was hot. Another very attractive female friend of mine said that I look like him. I've never seen him, but putting two and two together is a lot better than my current pathetic love life.
3) Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz
2) Sammy Davis Jr. - Should be the next pope. A dead Jew is still better than Pope Adolph I.
1) Milton Berlinger - While you don't see me changing my name to impress the gentiles, Milton Berle is still the messiah, so I'll let it slide.

Bad Jews
5) Jason Marquis - Pitched terribly for the St. Louis Cardinals against the Houston Astros in last year's NLCS. Despite my cries to the people of St. Louis not to blame the Jews for their series loss and only hold this one pitcher responsible, the people of St. Louis blamed the Jews.
4) Jesus Christensky - Another Jew that changed his name to impress the gentiles. This one didn't work out so well for us.
3) The child-fucking Rabbi - By the end, I predict the Rabbi, who was caught on Dateline trying to fuck some little children, will end up doing us more harm than Jesus. He's from Rockville, Maryland too. I hate you child-fucking Rabbi.
2) Shabbatai Zvi - False messiah during the 17th century. The mortal enemy of my brother and myself.
1) The schmuck who pissed off Hitler

A Woman Driver: The End of Men

Danica Patrick is an up-and-coming Indy car racing star in the Indy Racing League. So what's the problem?

She's a woman. According to the 1950s film series that I watch constantly, "Women: The Mysterious Creature," women can't and shan't drive a motor vehicle.

If Danica Patrick continues to drive a racecar, the fate of man is in jeopardy. If Danica succeeds in driving the car, women may become inspired to do other male occupations: mechanic, doctor, astronaut, scholar, burp enthusiast, president, professor of science at Harvard, hairstylist, or even writer of this blog.

We all know that once women participate in strictly heterosexual male activities, such as driving a car or golf, with men, this society is headed for doom. Women will become men, men will lose their identity, and there will be chaos. Do you want that on your conscious Danica Patrick? Children won't have mommies and daddies. All of the tears rolling down the cheeks of the world's children will be your fault Danica Patrick.

We must keep our genders strictly defined. Men pee standing up. Women don't go to the bathroom (it's not lady-like). Men are smart. For example, Karl Rove. He called Republican voters in South Carolina in 2000, and told them that John McCain had an illegitimate black child. It wasn't true, but that was very smart (Republicans in South Carolina are racist). Mother Teresa (a woman) spent all her time with poor people, which is stupid. You'll never get to play the latest Xbox 360 games for free if you hang out with poor people. If Danica Patrick continues to race that car, Mother Teresa might (come back to life) and call Macedonian voters and tell them that President Branko Crvenkovski has an illegitimate Armenian kid, and Karl Rove... well... he'll still be a terrible person.

So Danica Patrick, for the sake of humankind, don't drive that car!

715

Yesterday, Barry Bonds hit his 715th career homerun, passing Babe Ruth for second all time. He is still 40 behind the all time record holder, Hank Aaron.

It does not appear that Bonds will pass Aaron at this point. Bonds has struggled to continue playing because of injuries. However, the significance is that it is only the second time a man has hit his 715th homerun.

The last time, Hank Aaron, a black man, received numerous racially-based death threats. It is unknown if Barry Bonds has experienced the same intimidation. But it is clear that Bonds has received the cold shoulder from the country and from baseball fans. How much of it is because of the likelihood that he used steroids to improve his performance? How much is due to his terse personality? And how much is due to the fact that Bonds is a black man, who has the first two questions swirling around him, and just beat Babe Ruth, the god-like figure of white athletes? You can answer these questions.

African Hip Hop

Check out the MP3s from this site:
http://mattgy.net/music/archives/2006/05/26/beats-not-the-kora/

I recommend, from Tanzania, "X Plastaz - Msimu kwa msimu" and "Owen Saunders & Mike Freear feat LC, Bennamo, Yega & Mr. Soo - Self Destruct" is a beautiful song.

Sentence Comes Up Short

Richard Thompson of Lincoln, Nebraska was convicted of fucking a child and will serve no jail time. At 5'1", he was deemed too short for jail.

Now, I know this will upset a lot of people. The "anti-child fucking gestapo" will be up in arms over this sentence. But clearly you only have empathy for the so-called victim. What about the short child fucker? Suddenly, your compassion has dried up faster than the beer tap at the White House.

You have no idea what this means for short men. We can run amuck with no concern for consequence. That's pretty fucking awesome. I'm not really into the whole child fucking scene, but I can think of illegal things to do. In fact, I'm gonna go illegally download some music. Oh your honor, I'm too short to pay the fine. Score the basket!

Now, I'm not nearly as short as Mr. Thompson.

All of the sudden some big fancy ACLU lawyer says that she's never heard of this before and it's ridiculous. But the ACLU should be stopped. Conservatives, you can't back down now, otherwise, aren't you flip-flopping on the whole hating the ACLU issue? Yes, you are.

Finally there is justice for the short man. We've earned the freedom that we so desperately sought. The freedom to fuck little children. I mean, it's not really a freedom that I really want, but, still, I understand freedom to be pretty great.

Being A Man

Frank Robinson, who will be 72 years old later this summer, broke down during a press conference last night. Tears rolled down his cheeks uncontrollably, because the manager of the Washington Nats unintentionally embarrassed one of his players.

Matt LeCroy has been forced to play catcher due to injuries. He has struggled. Last night, he allowed the Astros to steal seven bases and committed two throwing errors, though the Nats' earned their third straight win. Robinson had no choice but to take LeCroy out of the game during the Top of the 7th. This broke an unwritten rule: a manager does not take a position player out of the game while on defense, unless there's an injury or it is part of a double switch. LeCroy was taken out due to ineffectiveness.

Robinson blamed himself for putting LeCroy in that situation. He showed himself to be a man, expressing compassion for his embarrassed player and regret in not recognizing the situation sooner. Though Robinson has never managed a champion, he always makes his players better.

He is one of the very few players who should be in the Hall of Fame thrice. Once for his legendary career as a player, another for his lengthy tenure as manager in the Major Leagues, and a third for what he has meant to the game on the whole. Frank Robinson was the first black man to manage in both the American League and the National League and he never backed down from anyone, even as a player during the 1950s and 1960s, no matter what. Last night he showed his toughness in another way; he showed his true emotions.

Let's Blame Bush For the High Gas Prices

After everything, I think it's very telling that the issue which is in large part responsible for George Bush's very low poll numbers is the very high gas prices.

Um- fighting a war on false pretenses, spying on American citizens, the failure of the government after Hurricane Katrina or on 9/11/01, bribe scandals, outing a CIA agent- anyone?

This just shows how stupid Americans are.

Let me just say that the justice makes me smile downstairs.

Still At War

I would have loved to visit Baghdad. Unfortunately, there's still a war going on there.

Recently, I was reminded of the beginning of the war in Iraq. Students at my school, Goucher College, had planned a walkout for whenever the war would start. Many students faced the challenge of whether or not to skip class and participate in the protest.

The walkout was scheduled to happen during my "Protest of the 1960s" class. It was probably the only class that if I had shown up instead of walking out, I would have failed.

Two Ugly Players Gone

As great as Sam Cassell [right] is, he's probably twice as ugly. Even he, former baseball player Derek Bell, and current Toronto Raptor Charlie Villanueva aren't as ugly as Cassell's fellow Clipper, Chris Kaman [left]. Thankfully, the ugliness stopped after the Suns defeated the Clippers in Game 7. The Suns will play the Mavs in the Western Conference Finals beginning Wednesday. In the East, the Pistons will play the Heat, beginning tonight.

The Clippers showed that they were a well-coached and talented team, but they didn't have enough playoff experience to overcome the Suns. This was also the case in the Cavs coming up short against the Pistons. In Game 5 of the Clippers-Suns series, Raja Bell hit a 3-pointer over Daniel Ewing to send the game into overtime. That was the lone bright spot in a contest that featured numerous mishaps at the end from both squads. These included Cassell's 8-second backcourt violation and the Suns' Tim Thomas heaving the ball the length of the court instead of calling timeout with 3 seconds to go.

For the Suns, Nash saved his best for last. He remains my favorite for the entire season's MVP. Nowitski has probably leapfrogged another player this playoffs, sending Lebron back to the third spot. Raja Bell stepped up and had a great series.

Dethroned

The San Antonio Spurs will not repeat as NBA Champions after losing Game 7 at home to the Dallas Mavericks. The story of the series was Avery Johnson out-coaching his former coach, Greg Popovich. Johnson was able to dictate the style of play and which players were out on the court this series. Instead of sticking with the strategy that resulted in the Spurs' franchise record for wins, Popovich tried to matchup with the speedy Mavs. Ginobili and Parker weren't consistent enough for the Spurs to win the series.

San Antonio did come back to tie the series after being down 3-1. They won Game 5 at home. Then they earned their first road win of the series in Game 6 with the Mavs Jason Terry sidelined due to suspention. The Mavs had Terry for Game 7, but blew a 20-point lead anyway. Ginobili hit a three to put the Spurs up 3 with under a minute to go. But Nowitzski showed why he is now a great player, driving the ball to the basket and getting fouled for a 3-point play. The Mavs outplayed the Spurs once again to take the overtime, thanks to the young center Diop's play.

Surprisingly, the Spurs complained an awful lot in the series about the referees' decisions. This was far from champion-like and partly the reason that the Spurs lost. They felt that they were battling the Mavs and the refs and it was just too much to overcome. In the end, the Mavs were the better team and finally climbed this hurdle, which was a long time in coming.

714

Barry Bonds tied Babe Ruth's career homerun mark of 714 yesterday. Bonds has been a contentious figure within the world of sports, because of his supposed "bad attitude" and his alleged use of steroids.

Bonds currently holds the single season homerun record, with 73 bombs in 2001. His accomplishment wasn't heralded in the same way as when Mark McGwire broke the record three years prior. Both had clearly "bulked" up quite a bit when they broke the records.

Now Bonds' latest achievement isn't getting the same accolades as perhaps he deserves. Perhaps, he doesn't. But he doesn't deserve any more or any less relative respect than McGwire or any other slugger suspected of steroid use during the era.

He may not smile when the media wants him to. He may make excuses. He may not be an enjoyable superstar to be around. But he is a great baseball player. He was the best player I had ever seen even before the moment he is accused to have started taking steroids.

Bonds' 714th homerun isn't as impressive as Babe Ruth's, whether Bonds took steroids or not. Ruth lapped the field in career homeruns; Bonds is now tied for second behind Hank Aaron. Bonds has had numerous other advantages. Ruth certainly had advantages that Bonds wasn't afforded, but Bonds faces weaker pitching, is paid a lot more, and may have taken steroids.

Basically, I'm unsure how to react to Bonds' success. I want to cheer for him (regardless of his personality). I want to tell my grandchildren about how great Bonds was. He changed the game of baseball with the number of times he was intentionally walked. His slugging percentage some years was unbelievable. He hit homeruns and stole bases. He was MVP 3 times before he allegedly took steroids. But that fact that it is more than likely that he cheated doesn't sit well with me. For now, I think I'm satisfied with him tying (and eventually passing Babe Ruth), but I haven't accepted that he may hit number 756 and pass Hank Aaron to become the greatest homerun hitter of all time.

Jesus' Death

You Christians are lucky that Jesus didn't die of high cholesterol. Then what would you hang around your necks and have dangling from your rearview mirrors?

And it probably wouldn't mean as much if he ate too many donuts for your sins.


Why isn't Game 7 of the Suns-Clippers series today? Or even tomorrow? Game 6 was Thursday, why are they waiting until Monday to play Game 7? It's not even the earlier game on Monday. Get your ass in gear Stern.



By the way, check this out: http://www.blackademic.blogspot.com/. She says what's on her mind, whether you like or not, and writes with no fear. She forces you to rise to her level.

Hey, He's Human

Convicted (in Virginia) sniper, John Allen Muhammad, is serving as his own legal counsel in a trial about several murders in Maryland. Various lawyers have described Muhammad's legal ability as "above average for a layperson," as "look[ing] like a regular lawyer," "prepared," and "black."

Muhammad has shown wit in court, including when his public defenders argued that he had a "brain dysfunction" and was incompetent to act as his own attorney.

Muhammad yelled out, "Your honor, can I sit over there with them?" looking at the prosecution table.

Muhammad was cross-examining a D.C. police officer, Henry Gallagher, who described one of the numerous encounters in which Muhammad is alleged to have barely eluded capture. Gallagher pulled over Muhammad near one of the murder scenes, issuing him only a verbal warning for speeding and going through two stop signs.

"Sir, let me ask you something," Muhammad said. "What does it take to get a traffic citation in the nation's capital?"

The prosecution's new strategy is to claim that Muhammad is such an effective lawyer, that he's clearly smart enough to have killed those people. They'll win too, just as sure as Zacharias Moussaoui is back-shit crazy.



Portions of this post were taken from the Washington Post article "Man accused in sniper rampage seems remade" by Eric Rich

Bittersweet Memories

I was watching an episode of the Steve Harvey Show for whatever reason. I became a bit nostalgic as I saw Merlin Santana on my television. I thought, "I'd like to see him and Deon Richmond work together again." Deep down, I've always wished that they were friends.

So I decided to do some research to see if they had worked together since the Cosby Show. It was then that I learned Merlin wasn't alive. He was shot to death on November 9, 2002 in an attempted robbery. That made me sad.

On the plus side, he and Deon had worked together since fighting over Rudy, when Deon was Kenny and Merlin was Stanley. They appeared together on Hangin' with Mr. Cooper twice and in the movie The Blues. Deon Richmond has had a nice career and so did Merlin Santana.

Deon, keep up the good work and do it for Merlin.

Aid For Starving People

Denying aid to the Palestinian territory because Hamas is the party in government is causing starvation and poverty among the Palestinian people. All this does is fuel extremism. If the people's lives improve, Hamas will come around. Then they won't have any reason to endanger the lives of its citizens. The Palestinians wouldn't have any of it, because they would would have hope. Hamas will eventually recognize Israel if the fortunes of its citizns improve.

After all, China is helping the cause. They've urged Hamas to recognize Israel. Zhai Jun, director-general of West Asian and North African Affairs of China's Foreign Ministry, said that "If you don't recognise a democratically elected government, what kind of democracy is that?"

Um, who said that?

Zhai continued, "Our minister Li (Zhaoxing) says democracy is a beautiful mother which gives birth to an ugly child. We don't necessarily agree with Hamas policies, but we respect the people's choice."

Uh, does Zhai realize that China doesn't have a democracy?

Anyway, it is equally hypocritical when Western countries vigorously promote democracy in places such as Palestine and then chastise them for the party that they elect.

The Exploitation of September 11th

I had a frustrating teaching session with my students (I just want them to do well, but they didn't do all of their homework) and now I'm stuck in traffic. In front of me is a car with a license plate that catches my eye:

"1/18/1990 Never Forget"

That is the day my dad died. I become incensed. What right does this person have to remind me of my dad's death? How dare they trivialize him by putting his memory on a fucking license plate! I get out of my car and run to the one in front of me, open the driver's door, pull out the middle-aged woman and her 6-year old son and pummel them until my anger runs dry.

I'm at home now, bored. I'm just checking out other blogs. I find one blog with a drastically different slant from my own, no big deal. Then I see images flashing of the very moment that my father died. I can't control my emotions and write the purveyor of the blog a curt email.

Later, I get an itch to find out what's going on in the world. I turn on the news only to hear politicians invoking "1/18," (my dad's death!) for their own political gain. Sometimes I agree with the politicians, sometimes I don't, but what right do they have to use my father's death for their selfish reasons? For the next election, I write-in Mickey Mouse for every office.

My dad's legacy has become his death. His life has been forgotten by those fiercely claiming to remember him the most. No one cares about him. They simply use his death to strike fear in the rest of the country in order to scare everyone into compliance. I've lost the memory of my father. I've lost the control to honor him. My dad died in vain.

Sad Goodbyes

My condolences to Larry Hughes and his family. Larry Hughes' younger brother died last week due to heart failure. He was 20 years old.

I remember watching a very moving profile of Larry and his brother about 10 years ago. His brother had just had a heart transplant, so Larry decided to go to school locally, improving St. Louis' fortunes greatly. he could have went to any top program in the country. After a successful first season, Larry entered the NBA to help pay for his brother's medical expenses. As time passed, it seemed like Larry's brother would live a normal life. Sadly, the Hughes' brotherly bond was broken last week.
____________________________________________________________

In other (less) sad news, Doug Flutie retired today. I actually keep a newspaper cut-out of Doug Flutie in my jacket pocket as a source of inspiration. I've got the box of Flutie Flakes on my dresser. My brother's AIM sceenname is a tribute to Flutie. We even named a fish after him.

Flutie was always considered too short by the so-called NFL experts. When Flutie was finally given a second chance by the Buffalo Bills, he flourished. Unfortunately, the Bills didn't have enough faith in Flutie and the fortunes of the franchise have floundered ever since they parted ways. Flutie will always be remembered for his hail mary pass for Boston College to beat Miami and go to the Fiesta Bowl. Doug Flutie will always be one of my favorite players of all time. Thanks for the memories Flutie.
__________________________________________________________

The Cleveland-Detroit playoff series is unrelated to the previous two stories, but Detroit could have done better at the end of Game 4. Lebron James made 1 of 2 free throws with just over one second left, increasing the Cavs lead to 2. Detroit did not have a timeout. They in bounded the ball to Chauncey Billups, who tripped, and the ball ended in the Cavs' hands. Detroit lost.

Detroit should have called timeout. That would have been a technical foul. The Cavs would have gotten one free throw attempt. If they made that attempt (Lebron struggled from the line tonight), Detroit would be down 3, but be able to advance the ball to the 28-foot line and Flip Saunders would of had time to call a play. This would have given Detroit a solid chance to send the game into overtime.

The Confusing Confederate Message

Heading north on I-95, north of Baltimore, Maryland, one travels over the Millard Tydings Bridge, an unimpressive structure that circumvents the path of the Susquehanna River. Tydings, from Harford County, Maryland, was a House Representative and Senator of Maryland during the first half of the twentieth century. He battled Joseph McCarthy's blind anti-communist witch hunt.

Just north of the bridge is a sign that reads "Fuck You Gov Ehrlich" tied on what looks like a crane, with four confederate battle flags and one Maryland state flags surrounding the sign. I reject the words of the sign, but I concur with the sentiment. Somehow, Governor Robert Ehrlich has managed to piss off confederates- such as the purveyors of the sign- liberal wackos- such as myself- and everyone in between in the state of Maryland.

The problem that I have with the sign is that it makes no sense. "Fuck You Gov Ehrlich" makes sense (although I don't remember if they spelled the governor's name correctly, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt). The Maryland flag makes sense. These individuals want the best for their state. The confederate flags make less sense, because Maryland was not part of the Confederacy. But maybe, they support slavery and the Confederacy and moved from the south.

What makes no sense is the combination of the Maryland flag and the confederate flag. It's gotta be one or the other fellas. Certainly there were white people from Maryland that fought for the Confederacy. But the state officially remained part of the union (the Confederacy's enemy, if you remember). The flag is the official symbol of the state's official position. Thus, the combination makes no sense.


Oh, and the confederate flag symbolizes the suppression of black people and enslaving that group, which is fucked up! You can check out my debate about the flag's meaning and origin in, strangely enough, the comments on my post entitled "The Journey," about my thought process in concluding that Kevin Garnett is overrated.

Al Qaeda's Recruitment Flyer

Zacarias Moussaoui has exhibited paranoid schizophrenic tendencies, though a jury of his peers dismissed the possibility of mental illness. Moussaoui is an obvious scapegoat for the U.S. government, who failed its citizens on September 11, 2001. Moussaoui was in jail at the time of the attacks and the government has no real evidence that he was responsible for the attacks (except for him yelling it out in court! Oops). Despite being paid once by Al Qaeda, top officials such as Khalid Sheikh Muhammad claim that Moussaoui was not a member of Al Qaeda, because he was too crazy (the paranoid schizophrenia, remember). The joke is that the court threw out Khalid Sheikh Muhammad's testimony because he was tortured by the U.S. government!

This got me thinking about the qualifications that one needs to join Al Qaeda. They don't accept just anybody, you know.



Al Qaeda Recruitment Form

We are interested in idealistic 20-something Muslim men, who are looking for a dramatic life change.

Devote yourself to the cause! Your elders will think highly of you. Girls will give you a second look.

It is a great way to bolster your résumé.


Jews, Christians, and paranoid schizophrenics need not apply.

Message to the Child Fuckers

My apologies to Magic Johnson for putting his picture underneath this post. This is a subject that I haven't dealt with since I berated the Rabbi back in November for entering the Dateline house with the intent to fuck some little children. Fuck you, Rabbi. Fuck you.

If, by some off-chance, a man is contemplating fucking some little children, but can't decide whether or not to go through with it, and happens to come across my site, let me help you decide. DON'T DO IT!

Just stay at home and jerkoff (preferably to adult images/fantasies). Maybe that isn't enough for you. You're lonely and you've played 5 on 1 so much, it has become uninteresting. There are plenty of ways to spice things up without fucking children. Tie a rubber band around your penis or something. You could always shove something up your ass. If you are going to shove something up your ass, be sure to come up with a story of how the object got stuck up there BEFORE you actually attempt the action, just in case. Believe me, it makes the trip to the hospital much easier.

I mean, holy shit, fucking children is wrong and you know that. Get some help. A mental/emotional institution (or rehab center) is much better than jail and scarring a child for life. Leave the children alone. Don't even chat with them on the internet. Go to a bar or something. Talk with people your own age. You can do it, I believe in you! They can't be that intimidating, and who knows, maybe some of them are in the same boat as you. But if you fuck children, fuck you!

So the bottom line is: if you want to fuck children, DON'T DO IT! It's rape and it's a crime. Stay home and shove something in your ass or get help.

The Journey

Why in the world would I write about Kevin Garnett now? We're in the second round and his team didn't even make the playoffs. This was my thought process before I fell asleep last night:

I really enjoy when Magic Johnson sits in with the TNT studio crew. He's not the most articulate speaker (Kenny Smith is more articulate, and Charles Barkley is more eloquent in his bluntness), but Magic's passion for the game is tremendous. Why would he sit in? He certainly doesn't need the money or the exposure, but he analyzes the contests out of sheer love for the game of basketball.

Magic Johnson, who left college after two years, reminded me of Jermaine O'Neal of the Indiana Pacers. O'Neal has an important voice regarding today's issues within the NBA and, more significantly, has acted as spokesman for the Hip Hop culture at times. While O'Neal has shown a willingness to speak his mind, he hasn't had the influence that he could have, or should have.

O'Neal criticized the proposed age minimum in the NBA, because it would hurt the fortunes of talented poor black men. He called the minimum unconstitutional. It isn't.

The Constitution sets age minimums for the president (must be 35 years old), senators (30), and representatives (25), so obviously the Constitution clearly states that age minimums are acceptable. I don't bring this up to mock O'Neal, but to make a point. Had he been forced to read the Constitution, say in college (he didn't attend), he would have known that. It's not a question of intelligence, but of having a chance to apply that intelligence. So essentially, O'Neal's voice has much less meaning and impact than it could have.

Another player around 7 feet tall, who also skipped college, is Kevin Garnett. Then I thought, “You know what? Kevin Garnett is overrated.”

Kevin Garnett is Overrated

Kevin Garnett of the Minnesota Timberwolves is a very good player. He stands about 7 feet tall, yet has the athleticism of a guard. But Garnett is not one of the game's all-time great players.

Garnett is the best player on a bad team. The truly great ones can at least put their team on their back and guide them to the playoffs. Over half the teams in the NBA make the playoffs, that's not too much to ask.

Essentially, despite Garnett's talent, it boils down to the fact that he's not a winner. The one year the Wolves won a playoff series, he was surrounded by playoff veteran stars Sam Cassell and Latrell Sprewell. Garnett's leadership qualities can justly be questioned. Minnesota is seemingly in constant disarray. KG's inability to lead a winner can possibly be traced to his lack of college experience. Whereas players such as Tim Duncan developed the skills to lead a top collegiate program over four years, Garnett was shortchanged that chance. He's had to learn on the run. It hasn't worked out for him.

During the Wolves playoff runs, I was excited to finally watch Garnett play. It is enjoyable to watch Iverson, Nash, Kidd, Shaq, Lebron and others play basketball. KG turned out to be not very flashy. He just accumulates statistics that don't influence the game as much as they appear. And he disappears towards the end of games.

Kevin Garnett is very good, just look at his numbers and his ability, but to be great in this league, you have to win. And you have to be the reason for the win.

The Racist

Things that a racist says:

I don't see race, we're all human.

Everyone has an equal opportunity in America.

I hear what you're saying, but...

There's no difference between "White Power" and "Black Power."

Things are better than before.

I'm not racist, but...

Get over it.

I Am Prejudice

After depositing money in the bank, I stuck my hand into my pocket with the intent of checking the amount of money that I had left in my wallet. At that moment, I saw a couple of black teenaged boys. I stopped. Embarrassed, I tried to play it off by keeping my hand in my pocket. As I walked by, I thought, "Fuck, I'm prejudice!" What did I think they were going to do, rob me? Of course they weren't.

The thing to do now is to work harder to deprogram myself from the stereotypes that have seeped into my unconsciousness. This is my pledge. Hopefully, being conscious of this event is a start.

Kazakhstan vs. Uzbekistan

Here is an in depth report on Kazakhstan and Uzbekistan:

Kazakhstan: Da Ali G Show's Borat is from there.
Uzbekistan: Useful when "Honolulu" is said in the Geography Game.

Uh, that's it.





People from Turkmenistan are rolling on the floor laughing right now!!

Three Starving Sudanese Men Walk Into A Bar...

In an article on the New York Times webpage about Darfur, the "article tools" were sponsored by WATER.

I get it. The people in Darfur don't even have water to drink, so the fact that WATER sponsors the article tools is ironic. I, for one, love the New York Times' sense of humor! That's almost as funny as the World Food Program cutting food aid to Darfur due to lack of funds. Hilarious.

Mr. Stephen Colbert, you could learn a lot from this kind of humor. You should be more respectful in your joke-making.

Jesus Is Real!

This sign is in Ohio.

The sign after reads, "If you died today, where would you spend eternity?"

I'm guessing I'd spend eternity in Hell (because I'm Jewish), but at least it's better than Ohio!

My Brother's Graduation

My brother is graduating from Miami University in Ohio. We are very proud. I'm looking forward to driving out to the Middle-of-Nowhere, Ohio.

I'm particularly interested in seeing the enormous engraving of Jesus on a church off of Route 70 in Ohio. Also, the tour of the United flight 93 wreckage in Pennsylvania for a "reasonable" price is always intriguing and not despicable.

Sex With Sean Hannity

Just because I want to have sex with Sean Hannity, doesn't make me gay.

There's just something about his masculine disregard for logic that makes my genitals erect. Plus, he has a cute tushy.

Look At My Dog

I've noticed that there are many blogs dedicated to people's dogs. They show pictures of their dogs, write about their dogs, and sometimes include other people's dogs.

Yeah, I get it, you like your dog. One short post and a picture would have conveyed the same message. An entire blog dedicated to dogs is, well, a little crazy. I'd put it a bit above Zacharias Moussaoui-crazy, but below Pat Robertson-crazy. Pat Robertson is a fucking nut job. I mean damn, I think God perpetrated Hurricane Katrina because God hates gay people (Ellen DeGeneres was hosting the Emmy's), but God punishing Ariel Sharon with a stroke for giving back some land? That's even beyond my level.

Anyway, dogs suck. I hate them. They chased me when I was young. And now they're fighting to gain the right to marry gay people, or so Senator Rick Santorum has led me to believe. Maybe I have that backwards. Maybe it's the gay people who want to marry dogs, I forget.

I'm scared of dogs, no matter the size. You know the old saying, "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the... FUCK! There are dogs chasing me, RUN!!"

Speak English

President George Bush has finally brought the all important issue of translation into the nation's political discouse. He believes that our national anthem should only be sung in English, not spanish.

Personally I'm against translation of any kind. If you write something in a language, it should stay in that language. If we didnt translate the rest of the world's opinions of America into English, then we wouldn't know that they hate us. Then we could act in any way we wanted. I'm for another unjustified war. Let's take out Madagascar. Fuck Madagascar! I mean, look at it, just loitering off the coast of Africa like some kind of punk kid (buy something already or leave!), with its many species of animals, and unpronouncable capital.

I speak one language; English. It's not because I'm an idiot, but because it should be the only world language. My grandma spoke 4 or 5 languages, but you know what? She didn't speak English too good. She had a weird fuckin accent and I couldn't understand her half the time. She didn't write English good either. Because she was stupid.

Back to the issue of the national anthem. It must be sung in English. English is a sacred language. Which language is every bible in each of America's Hilton Hotels written in? It's English of course, which proves that English is a holy language. Francis Scott Key's poem is also sacred (at least the part that is now the national anthem). If you sing it in spanish, you lose the meaning of the song. Especially since the only Spanish I speak is "Yo quero el the Taco Bell." If the song has no meaning, it can't be holy anymore.

If we don't speak English, we won't be a unified nation. And than we won't be able to stand. And it all begins with the national anthem.




By the way, check this out: http://jdmac020.blogspot.com/