Monday, June 30, 2008

Evil Leaders League, Season 4

This is the fourth season of the Evil Leaders League. The league will continue to consist of 8 evil leaders. Five participants are returning from last season and three are new. This is a round-robin league, much like the English Premier League soccer, not a tournament. There will be a playoffs at the end of the regular season. To make sure you check out the official ELL site, you'll have to click on the link to see the winners, but don't worry no tricks, and you can still read the action on this blog. This season's Evil Leaders League (ELL) is dedicated to Ian Smith.

Let's meet the competitors:
Kim Jong-Il - leader in North Korea since 1994. Champion last season.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - president of Iran since 2005. Finished 2nd.
Omar al-Bashir - in charge of Sudan since 1989. Finished 3rd.
Pervez Musharraf - president of Pakistan since 1999. Finished 4th
Hugo Chavez - president of Venezuela since 1999. Finished 5th.
Nursultan Nazarbayev - president of Kazakhstan since 1991. New.
Than Shwe - leader of Myanmar since 1992. New.
Felipe Calderón - President of Mexico since 2006. New.

Week 1
Kim vs Chavez
A stunning turn of events has occurred since North Korea's ruler Kim Jong-Il won last season's ELL championship. Kim destroyed some of his nuclear weapons facilities. George Bush said he will now ask Congress to take North Korea off of the list of state-sponsors of terrorism within 45 days. Absolutely amazing. It's like when a wrestler that you've hated all of his career suddenly becomes a fan-favorite and as a result, he loses all of his contests. Venezuela's Hugo Chavez is coming off of a relatively bad evil season and a mixed offseason. He was about to go to war with Colombia, but decided to agree to disagree with Colombian president Alvaro Uribe. He looks at $4.25 a gallon for gas in the U.S. compared to 12 cents in Venezuela and smiles. But his former allies within the country are starting to desert him. While Kim's country will soon come off of the state-sponsor of terrorism list, technically, it's still there.
winner: check the ELL site

Calderon vs Musharraf
Mexico's Felipe Calderon is the mastermind behind a plot to chase all of his co-nationalists to the United States in order to steal our jobs. He is doing this by freezing rising food prices and fighting a war against drug smugglers. I bet he secretly sings the U.S. national anthem in Spanish, too. Pervez Musharraf, the President of Pakistan, is determined to crush Islamic terrorists. That's not evil; in fact, it's very Bush-like. But he is very unpopular in his own country. He could face impeachment soon, but refuses to relinquish power. Now we're talking, Pervez! Hanging on to power, no matter how ineffectual your leadership, oozes evil.
winner: check the ELL site

Nazarbayev vs Shwe
When Nursultan Nazarbayev (say that five times fast) of Kazakhstan isn't criticizing the movie Borat or listening to his daughter lament the global "gaying up" of men (she hates the fauxhawk and collar-popping), the president is promising that his country won't have a one-party parliament. Why would he make such a promise? It's like when someone promises you, "I won't snort cocaine." You only have to make a promise like that if it's happened already. Myanmar or Burma has a military leader named Than Shwe. Since I only get my news from President Bush's State of the Union Addresses, I can tell you than Shwe is the worst person in the world. He's beefed up his evil credentials by not allowing foreign aid workers to help his subjects affected by the recent devastating cyclone. He's the Sammy Davis Jr. of evilness, an all-around performer.
winner: check the ELL site

al-Bashir vs Ahmadinejad
Sudan's Omar al-Bashir continues to implement his Final Solution in massacring the black people of his country. Hey, that's Hitler's thing! I've never been a fan of evil dick-riding. Get your own thing. The Ultimate Answer. The Last Result. You know, something original, something catchy. You want your murderous Jangaweed militia to keep your genocide going, don't you? Iran has a little leader with a big heart named Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. He is rooting for John McCain to win the presidency so he can stay in the ELL. If Barack Obama wins, Ahmadinejad will become irrelevant and even worse, face relegation. Thank Allah for Israel and their insatiable hatred of Iran. Ahmadinejad might just grab that elusive ELL championship yet.
winner: check the ELL site

Poor Robert Mugabe. He always steps up his evilness after he's relegated. Hopefully someday he'll time it right.

standings: check the ELL site

Sunday, June 29, 2008

People Worse than Hitler

George W. Bush, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Donald Rumsfeld, fans of the Boston Celtics, Marvin Hamlisch, Robert Mugabe, Rabbi David Kaye, Hunter Wendelstedt, Rod Stewart, Osama Bin Laden, and John Ratzenberger.

It is possible to say someone is worse than Hitler and be funny, but it doesn't always work. To say Vanilla Ice is worse than Hitler is funny, because it is humorous hyperbole. In reality, Vanilla Ice is in no way worse than Hitler (except for rapping. If you've ever heard Hitler free style about how much he hates the Jews, Gypsies, and gays, you know what I mean. Yes, the subject matter is hateful, but it's still impressive, especially in such a tough language to flow in like German).

Saying that George Bush is worse than Hitler is simply ignorant. There are plenty of valid reasons to criticize Bush, but to say he's worse than Hitler just weakens your argument against him and shows a lack of perspective about Hitler's crimes.

I think it's acceptable for people to say offensive things, but it MUST be FUNNY! That is the key. In my experience, it's hard for people to be offensive about a group with which they don't belong and still be funny. It becomes easier when you say something offensive about people from a higher status than you on the socio-economic scale. White gentiles try to make a cheap Jew joke in front of me and think they're edgy. Please, that's so pedestrian. I've never heard a gentile say something funny about the Holocaust. I've heard plenty of Jews make hilarious jokes about the Holocaust. We just understand how to flip the pain in a funny manner. That pain isn't yours, so you don't.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Zimbabwe's Animal Farm

Colonialism's most gaudy aspect is its violent racism. But its most lasting features are the system of control it leaves and the intellectual and emotional degradation it casts on its victims.

Robert Mugabe defeated the imperial rule of the white man only to turn around and adopt his method of governance. Mugabe didn't set the mold; he only practiced against what George Orwell's Animal Farm preached. Robert Mugabe and Ian Smith might look different, but they act the same.

Regarding the violence in Zimbabwe prior to the runoff election and the African condemnation of it, the New York Times reports Mugabe saying, “Some African countries have done worse things. I would like some African leaders who are making these statements to point at me and we would see if those fingers would be cleaner than mine.” His statement brings up two important points.

Firstly, Mugabe doesn't deny that his regime has engaged in state-sponsored violence to crush the opposition. He argues that other African countries have done worse, which leads to the second meaning. In this remark, Mugabe is arguing against the moral clout of African leaders. Mugabe implies that state-sponsored violence is acceptable in Africa, because its leaders to do not have the moral authority to criticize the murders and beatings in other countries. Mugabe's sentiment is that Africa is heretofore incapable of righting its own wrongs. To Mugabe, Africa is weak.

Interestingly enough, had the Rhodesian Front criticized Mugabe's guerilla tactics during the war of Liberation (as they surely did) in the same way as today's African heads of state, Mugabe would have made the same critique of Ian Smith's apartheid rule. However, in that situation, Mugabe’s statement would have been poignantly accurate. Nowadays, Robert Mugabe is spouting the same tired rhetoric as the colonists did back when the current dictator was a liberation hero. As did Ian Smith in the dying days of Rhodesia, Mugabe’s remarks demonizing African leaders are in an attempt to cling to power. His comments contradict his status as a hero against colonialism.

Ian Smith has recently left this earth and Mugabe is not far to follow. In the words of David Harold-Barry, "The curtain is about to come down on the era of old men and their worn out dreams." Stand up Zimbabwe!

Friday, June 27, 2008

2008 NBA Draft Recap

The Knicks chose Danilo Gallinari with the 6th pick in the Draft. Jay Bilas described him as lacking lateral quickness. They showed clips of him driving to the basket and I had to rub my eyes and look closely to make sure the replays weren't in slow motion. They weren't. Apparently, he is a weak defender.

Recent Italian players drafted include: Marco Belinelli (drafted 18th in 2007, 2.9 ppg in 33 games for Golden State) and Andrea Bargnani (drafted 1st in 2006, 10.8 ppg and 3.8 rpg for his NBA career so far). Of course, Nikoloz Tskitishvili played in the Italian league before he was drafted 5th in 2002 and averaged 2.9 ppg for his career. So that isn't a good recommendation for the Italian league. Gallinari's father played with new Knicks coach, Mike D'Antonio in Italy, which also speaks ill of the pick. Listen, nepotism is fine in some cases. If D'Antonio feels like he owes Gallinari's father, let the son be a ball boy or a water boy, don't draft him with the 6th pick in the NBA Draft.

Gallinari is evidently a good shooter. The Knicks need shooting. They also need everything else! Eric Gordon, Joe Alexander, D.J. Augustin, Brook Lopez, and Jerryd Bayless were picked immediately after Gallinari. We'll see if any of them stack up a better career than Gallinari and check back later. I think they will. I hope I'm wrong.

Russell Westbrook at 4 to Seattle is interesting. There is no guarantee that a great college defender will be a stopper in the NBA. Michael Finley comes to mind. Westbrook hopes he will be as good Finley. With so many Freshmen chosen, I suspect that some will be gems and others will be total busts. I'm reminded of the 2001 Draft with high schoolers. Well, actually they were all busts in that one. Rose, Beasley, and Mayo (who was just traded to Memphis) will probably all be stars.

Two Freshmen who should have stayed in school are Bill Walker and Davon Jefferson. Had they stayed, both could have been stars for big conference schools next year. That could have possibly led to a lottery pick next year. Jefferson wasn't drafted. Walker was picked by Washington and then shipped to Boston. Assuming he makes the team, if he can cope with sitting on the bench for a couple of years, Boston might be the perfect place for Walker. Garnett, Pierce, and Allen will be good role models. Walker might be a sleeper.

A number of seniors that went late have the chance to contribute in the NBA and one might even be a star. D.J. White, Joey Dorsey, Kyle Weaver, Sonny Weems, Sean Singletary, Shan Foster, and Joe Crawford all fit the bill. Mario Chalmers and Chris Douglas-Roberts are two Juniors who played in the NCAA championship game that I expect big things from.

Georgetown had two players drafted. Roy Hibbert was picked by Toronto and is likely on his way to Indiana in a trade. I think he'll be Sam Bowie-like, which is not bad for the 17th pick. It's a freaking disaster however if it's the 2nd pick and before some guy named Michael Jordan. Patrick Ewing Jr. was picked by the Kings and belongs with the seniors group above. His heart will keep him in the league for a while. Look at Chuck Hayes, Karl Landry, and the glamour boy, Shane Battier. Ewing will follow in their footsteps. Unfortunately, Folarin Campbell and Will Thomas from George Mason weren't drafted. Best of luck fellas.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

1000th Post

Today is my brother's birthday, but more importantly, this is the 1000th post of this blog.

I am very proud of myself. It is a great accomplishment to go 1000 posts without saying anything the least bit relevent to anyone. Most people would have quit after about 6 or 7 meaningless posts. If not, they would have slipped up along the way and written something "important" or "pertinent" or "good." Not me. I must be a hero.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

2008 NBA Draft Preview

Since 1997, if I've never heard of a U.S. college player who comes out of school early and they're drafted in the lottery, they will be a bust. I'm not an expert on college basketball, but I'm more than a casual fan. Shawn Marion is the exception to that rule. Jamal Crawford is the next best player who fits that criteria and then it goes way downhill from there.

Some busts who I had never heard of before the draft: DeMarr Johnson, Rodney White, Dajuan Wagner, Kris Humphries, Cedric Simmons, Patrick O'Bryant, to name a few (more like, almost all).

I've always wanted the power to say who could or could not come out of school early. So here's a list of a couple of high prospects who I never heard of during the college basketball season:
Anthony Randolph, DeAndre Jordan, JaVale McGee.

Here are some other prospects who left early that I never heard of:
Richard Hendrix, Shawn James, Trent Plaisted.

I tend not to watch bad big conference schools or have access to some mid-major conferences.

Here are some players who I've watched and am pretty shocked to see they declared early (this group tends to have better careers than the one above:
Joe Alexander, Jerryd Bayless, Donte Green, Jamont Gordon, J.J. Hickson, Kosta Koufos, Luc Mbah a Moute, Marreese Speights.

The Knicks could pick Russell Westbrook. He's a good defensive player, but not great on the other side. That's ok, the Knicks need to learn how to play defense. They might also pick Danilo Gallinari. I've heard he's a better version of Bargnani, but that doesn't even guarantee that he'll rebound better than Eddy Curry. I've also seen Brook Lopez or Kevin Love. I think either would be a good pick and more importantly, it would show that we were serious about getting rid of Curry or Zach Randolph. I saw one mock draft that gave New York O.J. Mayo, but my life tends not to work out so well.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Another Baseball Apology

This is a sad day. I would like to apologize to my fellow 4th grade Stonebridge Mariners and the rest of the Rockville Baseball League. I am man enough to admit that I took HGH while I played little league baseball. That was wrong. I believe that taking the substance inflated my .118 lifetime batting average. Although, I must point out that it probably lowered my career .487 on base percentage.

I knew, as my mom was consistently injecting me with HGH, that what I was doing was wrong. I set a bad example for all of the even-younger kids who followed my career. For that I apologize. I wish I could take it back. Not really, I probably would have been even shorter than I am now. But in theory, I'm really sorry. I hope my adoring fans can forgive me.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Top 10 NBA Players

Top 10 NBA Players Now
While this list consists of the top 10 players now, the past is taken to account, but it is not a list of the best players who happen to be active. In parentheses is the player's previous rank posted on February 13.

# David (PR) - Mike (Previous Rank)
1. Kobe (1) - Kobe (3)
2. LeBron (2) - LeBron (1)
3. Duncan (4) - Garnett (2)
4. Nash (3) - Duncan (7)
5. Garnett (5) - Paul (6)
6. Billups (8) - Nash (5)
7. T. Parker (10) - Dirk (4)
8. Dirk (9) - Pierce (NR)
9. Paul (NR) - Wade (NR)
10. Kidd (6) - Camby (NR)

Top 10 NBA Careers Among Active Players
This is a list of the best active players taking into account their entire careers. Eligible players must have played during the 2007-2008 season. This is the first time we've done a list of this sort.

# David - Mike
1. Shaq - Shaq
2. Duncan - Duncan
3. Kidd - Kobe
4. Kobe - Garnett
5. Garnett - Iverson
6. Iverson - Kidd
7. Nash - T. Parker
8. Dirk - Billups
9. LeBron - Wade
10. Webber - Dirk

Top 10 NBA Franchise Players
This list is about which players you would pick to start a franchise. They must have played in an NBA game. We have not made a list of this sort before.

# David - Mike
1. LeBron - LeBron
2. Kobe - Kobe
3. Paul - Paul
4. D. Howard - D. Howard
5. T. Parker - D. Williams
6. D. Williams - Durant
7. Duncan - Wade
8. J. Smith - Anthony
9. Bosh - J. Smith
10. Prince - A. Stoudemire

Of course we have disagreements, which come across in our lists. I must say I have a bone to pick with one aspect of Mike's lists. I respect his view on the game and appreciate him for taking the time to make the lists.

But I don't understand how Mike has Tony Parker #7 on the career list, but not on the list of best players now. Parker recently turned 26 (he's a few months younger than me) and is just now hitting his prime. But somehow he has had a better career than Paul Pierce, Dirk Nowitzki, Steve Nash, and Marcus Camby, even though they are deemed better than him now. I just can't wrap my head around that. Obviously, I think Parker is great, he's #7 on my list of best players now and #5 on my list of franchise players. But even I think Pierce has had a better career thus far than Parker, Dirk and Nash made my top 10 career list while Parker did not, and I might even have Camby higher than Parker (maybe). The two lists don't seem to gel on that point.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Tsvangirai Pulls Out

Shock and disappointment gave way to understanding and admiration after pondering MDC candidate Morgan Tsvangirai's decision to pull out of the Zimbabwean presidential runoff. Tsvangirai won the first round of elections, but the government continues to claim that he didn't gain enough votes to win an outright majority.

Tsvangirai concluded that remaining in the race through the Friday runoff would have created a disastrously violent situation in the already beleaguered country. The military threatened to kill anyone who voted for the MDC. Tsvangirai felt that he couldn't ask his supporters to risk their lives to vote. In addition, because of the violence, he didn't think he could win and didn't want to give credibility to a fraudulent election that would have kept an authoritarian leader in power.

Tsvangirai states that the point of his run in the rerun was to expose President Robert Mugabe as a violent dictator. He has done that. Even Mugabe's closest regional allies have condemned his campaign tactics. The dozens of fallen MDC supporters have not died in vain. In the face of strong emotions, Tsvangirai chose to halt his own presidential dreams for the time being in order to save his numerous remaining followers. It is a measured and courageous decision.

There must be extreme frustration boiling within MDC supporters who have withstood beatings to campaign for their cause. But their lives would have been lost had they proceeded. Nevertheless, the decision to abandon the election leaves me with sadness. I once said that "an opposition boycott to an election is the evil leader's version of an orgasm. And in the aftermath, there's a lot of shame and regret." However, I'm also optimistic. The legitimacy that Mugabe lost has fallen into Tsvangirai's back pocket.

So what's next? It is likely that Mugabe's rule will end soon regardless. Many of his allies within his party detest his presence. The fear is that Mugabe will be overthrown and replaced with a younger version of the old mustached man. Tsvangirai asserts that the military already rules Zimbabwe and Mugabe has been marginalized. We can only hope for a people's revolution after the fixed vote on Friday. The MDC has support within the rank and file of the military, but those supporters didn't rebel against their commanding officers for fear of treason. Perhaps there will be a mass uprising within the military to aid a non-violent people's revolution finally installing Zimbabwe's legitimate leader, Morgan Tsvangirai.

Out of respect for Tsvangirai's decision to pull out of the election, I will no longer make at least one reference about the situation in Zimbabwe in every post, as I've done for the past six weeks. However, that doesn't mean I'm going to forget about Zimbabwe or it's people either. Stand up Zimbabwe!

Saturday, June 21, 2008

What You Do Comes Back To You

As the presidential runoff in Zimbabwe nears, one is surprised by how little the race resembles an election. ZANU-PF's campaign looks more like a low-intensity war than a bid to secure the larger coalition of voters.

ZANU-PF's tactics are war-like because, many experts argue, they have never finished fighting the war of liberation that granted Zimbabwe its independence in 1980. Two organizations, ZANU and ZAPU were responsible for delivering the country from white rule. Robert Mugabe and his party won the 1980 election, handily defeating ZAPU, led by Joshua Nkomo. Over the next 7 years, Mugabe treated ZAPU and its allies as enemies of the state. The result was genocide. The state-sponsored Fifth Brigade swept through the Matabelelands. Shona massacred Ndebele. Nkomo was threatened and humiliated.

ZAPU was finally forced to merge with Mugabe's party in 1987. No serious opposition surfaced until the MDC in 2000, although some small parties prevented ZANU-PF from turning Zimbabwe into a one-party state. Regardless of the lack of threat these small opposition parties presented, Mugabe always ordered pre-election violence to destroy his challengers.

This puts into context some of Mugabe's seemingly absurd charges: 1) The MDC wants to restore re-colonize Zimbabwe, 2) The MDC are enemies of Zimbabwe, 3) The MDC are the ones committing the violence. All are lies. Mugabe vows the MDC will never rule Zimbabwe. The war still goes on in his mind.

It is essential for the MDC to quest for power through legitimate means. Easier said than done. The way a group comes to power will dictate how they rule the country. In Kyrgyzstan, people revolted against a corrupt parliamentary election in 2005. An unintended consequence of their Tulip Revolution was the overthrow of President Askar Akayev. The two most popular politicians formed a coalition and became the President (Kurmanbek Bakiyev) and Prime Minister (Felix Kulov) but their rise to power was technically illegal. They held a presidential election 4 months later, but the results of the parliamentary election, the true impetus for the revolution, weren't thrown out. Only a few contested seats were rerun. As a result, Kyrgyzstan has had a difficult time throwing off the corrupt legacy of Akayev. One illegal action, no matter how noble, begets another and another.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Barack Obama's Vice President Choices

The perception is that Barack Obama lacks executive and foreign policy experience, so he would need to pick someone with both. However, he has shown good judgment on foreign policy issues, so he might want to lean slightly towards putting a governor on the ticket. Apparently, he has some problem with liberal white women who are upset that he beat Hillary Clinton in the primary. However, I assume most liberal white women are smart and would eventually back Obama and not McCain, who is anti-choice and your typical anti-woman Republican.

Obama has trouble with working class white people, but only from Appalachia, and he would be wise to ignore it because he won't win any of those states anyway. However, he does need to shore up his Latino vote. Generally I'm against dividing VP candidates into stupid groups like this, but I'm going to do that here. This is a list of who I want him to pick, as opposed to the list I made about John McCain, which was about who is most likely. But I'll put a likelihood factor next to each entry (L: 1-10, 10 is most likely).

1) Bill Richardson (NM) - He comes closer to filling all of Obama's needs than anyone else. He has foreign policy experience (congressman, diplomat), he has executive experience, he's been a member of a president's cabinet, he's Latino, and he's governor of a swing state. His only downside is he isn't the best campaigner and has a tendency to make a gaff. (L: 7)
2) Tim Kaine (Va) - A liberal governor from a southern swing state. Early backer of Obama. He fits the "change" theme, as he's relatively young, but he's a white male, so not "too changey." He is personally anti-death penalty (but still carries out the letter of the law) and won in Virginia- so major political points there. (L: 9)
3) Jennifer Granholm (Mi) - Unlike Lindsey Graham, she's a woman. She runs a Democratic-leaning state, but it would be nice to make sure Michigan is in blue. She could hep with women and Obama might have more trouble in the upper midwest than Gore or Kerry, so she would be a good choice. (L: 8)
4) Ed Rendell (Pen) - He is charismatic, was a Clinton supporter, and is head of a Democratic-leaning state. Obama could have trouble with Pennsylvania and, unlike Ohio or Florida, he must win it. However, Rendell is Jew. I am Jew. People don't like Jews. (L: 3)
5) Duval Patrick (Mas) - He's a capable young politician, who would solidify Obama's message. However, he adds nothing to the ticket. He's a young charismatic black guy. That describes someone else, doesn't it? I'd love to see him on the ticket because it would spit in the face of conventional politics and be a choice of conviction. (L: 1)
6) Ted Strickland (Oh) - He's an old white man. Obama should stay away from their ilk. It will look funny when he burns McCain for the same attributes that describe his VP choice. Strickland is in charge of Ohio, but Obama should forget about Ohio, Kentucky, and West Virginia. (L: 6)

1) Claire McCaskill (Mizz) - An early backer of Obama. A woman. Senator from a swing state. Likable. (L: 7)
2) Evan Bayh (Ind) - He was an early and ardent supporter of Clinton, so he would be a pick to "unify the party." He's experienced, but also a young looking white male, similar to Tim Kaine. (L: 9)
3) Tom Harkin (Ia) - He is an old white man, so that's not so good. But Iowa is a swing state and Obama will probably have to pick it off. Harkin might help with crucial surrounding states as well. (L: 4)
4) Jim Webb (Va) - He seems to be more likely than he should be. Obama doesn't have to choose a female vice president in order to attract female voters, but he does have to avoid choosing someone who offends them. Picking Webb would not uphold that principle. He's a bad choice. (L: 8)

Primary Opponents
1) Gov. Bill Richardson (NM) - See above. (L: 7)
2) Fmr Sen. John Edwards (NC) - He would be a great pick, except for 2004. He ran a very different (better) campaign in '08, but his '04 run raises questions about who is the real John Edwards. It doesn't make much sense to rehash old losses either. (L: 5)
3) Sen. Chris Dodd (Con) - The only reason he is #3 is because of the bottom two. He would be a bad choice. Bland, old, brings only foreign policy experience, which can be found in a more attractive candidate. Could be a good cabinet member. (L: 4)
4) Sen. Hillary Clinton (NY) - Behind Obama, she is the best politician and campaigner. But she brings so much baggage and undercuts Obama's "change" message. Choosing her would be an act of weakness or desperation by Obama. A very bad choice. A good one for Secretary of state though. (L: 8)
5) Sen. Joe Biden (Del) - I would consider not voting for Obama if he chooses Clinton. That's even more likely if Biden is on ticket. (YOU: You would vote for McCain then? ME: No idiot, I'd probably vote Green. YOU: But they have no chance to win. ME: You just don't get it and you never will. Kill yourself). Biden is a centrist. He enjoys making racially offensive statements. And he has a dangerously stupid plan for Iraq that would separate it into three semi-autonomous regions. (L: 5)

1) Wesley Clark - He's the only one who should even be under consideration because he actually ran a campaign before. In theory a military person is a good thought, but in practice will create headaches that Obama doesn't need. (L: 6)
2) Anthony Zinni, 3) Merrill McPeak, 4) James Jones, 5) Hugh Shelton. (all L: 4)

1) Rep. Nancy Pelosi (Cal) - I really like the Speaker of the House. In theory she would be a very good choice. But she doesn't want it and Fox News would have a field day painting Obama and Pelosi as the most liberal terrorist fist jabbers in the Congress. (L: 2)
2) Gov. Jennifer Granholm (Mi) - See above. (L:8)
3) Sen. Claire McCaskill (Mizz) - See above. (L: 7)
4) Gov. Kathleen Sebelius (Kan) - Gave the rebuttal to the State of the Union address and got good marks. But I was bored by it. (L: 6)
5) Sen. Diane Feinstein (Cal) - She's a good legislator. But she's a Jew. I'm a Jew. People don't like Jews. (L: 2)
6) Sen. Hillary Clinton (NY) - Ugh. See above. (L: 8)

1) Sen. Russ Feingold (Wi) - He's probably my favorite politician. He's the only one who didn't vote for the Patriot Act the first time around. But he is a Jew and the most liberal member of the senate. (L: -300)
2) Fmr VP Al Gore - He would obviously be a good choice. But what's in it for Al Gore? Not much. (L: 1)
3) Robert F. Kennedy Jr. - A Clinton supporter. A Kennedy. Intriguing? (L: 1)
4) Fmr Sen. Bill Bradley (NJ) - Go Knicks! (L: 2)
5) Sen. John Kerry (Mas) - If at first you don't succeed, you're probably not good enough, try again in a lesser role. (L: 2)
6) Pres. Robert Mugabe (Zim) - The authoritarian dictator of Zimbabwe would certainly fit Obama's "change" agenda. But he's too old. (L: -299)

1) Gov. Bill Richardson (NM) - Dave Chappelle once said that if he was ever the first black president, his vice president would be a Mexican "for a little insurance." As he said, "You can shoot me, but you're just going to open up the border." (L: 7)
2) Gov. Tim Kaine (Va) - A driving instructor once told me not to honk at anyone with a Virginia license plate because they carry guns in their cars and they have no reservations about shooting. Kaine is a liberal who won in Virginia! (L: 9)
3) Gov. Jennifer Granholm (Mi) - Hillary Clinton doesn't want a female on the ticket unless her name is "Hillary Clinton." As the girls at Wellesley would say, "Tough titties." (L: 8)
4) Sen. Claire McCaskill (Mizz) - I knew Geraldine Ferraro and you ma'am are no Geraldine Ferraro. You're not crazy. (L: 7)
5) Sen. Evan Bayh (Ind) - It is the dream of every little white boy from Indiana to one day grow up and become a black man's vice president. (L: 9)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Game 6 - Why Even Show Up?

The Celtics had a 4 points lead after the first quarter. The game would not be competitive again. Boston had a 23-point lead heading into halftime. There would be no dramatic turn around this time. The lead extended to 30 points in the third. The Celtics scored 42 points in the fourth quarter and won by 39, 131-92. The Celtics scored 107 points in the final three quarters of the season.

But the story of the game was the complete lack of heart showed by the Lakers. They had less heart than when Robert Mugabe declares that he will never let the MDC rule Zimbabwe. As an NBA fan, it was embarrassing to watch. It's a long regular season, so you have to give up early on a game every now and again, but this was Game 6 of the NBA Finals. Flat out, the Lakers quit. Only Kobe Bryant even tried. He scored 22, but had yet another poor shooting night, going 7-22 from the field. The Celtics destroyed the Lakers so thoroughly, you wonder if the Lakers are going to fold as a franchise after this. How can they possibly show their faces in public again?

The Lakers team has 2 offensive rebounds. Four Celtics players had at least as many, including Rondo, Perkins, and Glen Davis, who played for the first time in the series. Rondo had 21 points on an astronomical 20 shots, but he 8 assists, 7 rebounds, and 6 steals. Perkins played despite a shoulder injury and was a force in the pain on both sides of the court. Posey had 11 points, House had 9, and Powe had 8. But the real story was the Big 3. Pierce struggled shooting, but scored 17 points and more importantly added 10 assists, 9 in the first half. Ray Allen hit 7 threes and accounted for 26 points. Kevin Garnett also had 26 points and grabbed 14 rebounds.

Boston won their 17th championship. But it leaves an empty feeling, because the team is stacked with new players. The Celtics didn't buy their championship, but took advantage of two team going through fire sales. Boston didn't work their way through playoff tragedies year after year, the way past champions seem to have earned it. But there's no denying that they were the best team this season. Red Auerbach would be proud.

2008 NBA Finals
MVP - Bos Paul Pierce
Unsung Hero Award - Bos James Posey
Gutcheck Award - Bos Ray Allen

2007-2008 All NBA H-duk Team
C Dwight Howard Orl (1st)
F Kevin Garnett Bos (5th)
F LeBron James Cle (3rd)
G Kobe Bryant LAL (3rd) * MVP
G Chris Paul NO (1st)

I forgot to put up 2006-2007
C Tim Duncan SA (5th)
F Dirk Nowitzki Dal (2nd) * MVP
F LeBron James Cle (2nd)
G Kobe Bryant LAL (2nd)
G Steve Nash Phx (3rd)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

See You In Another Life

A while back Ukrainian Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko and I split up. It was very sad. Turns out she was already married.

Apparently, she has been wed to Oleksandr Tymoshenko since 1979. I had no idea! She never mentioned him, except for the one time I met him. Before he came over, Yulia said, "I want you to meet my friend." There was nothing in their interactions that suggested they were anything more. Maybe 29 years of marriage has killed every hint of romance. I knew his name was also Tymoshenko, but I just thought that was a common last name in Ukraine, like Smith in America. How was I supposed to know?

It feels like a Roman Greenberg punch in the stomach. It's like she ripped my heart out of my chest, stomped on it with her high heels and short miniskirt and then sat on it with her plump curvaceous tuchis. I was the idealistic young MDC organizer and she was the ZANU-PF goon, ripping apart my faith in humanity. I just don't understand it. Why wouldn't she tell me?

It's not good for me that she has a husband, but it's more upsetting that she kept it from me and lied to me. The way I found out was even worse. I saw the sorry news on Wikipedia, which in hindsight I probably should have checked earlier. But I trusted her. I don't know of a worse way to find out; perhaps learning about it on Facebook or MySpace is worse, but it's debatable.
As much as it hurts to lose her, even if she left her husband, I'm not sure I'd take her back. How can I trust her again? She would have to go above and beyond to earn that back. I'm not sure she's willing to do that. So here is where it ends. To quote Oi Va Voi, "Guess it wasn't meant to be. I can only rationalize. See you in another life."

"Wish we could start again."

Monday, June 16, 2008

Game 5 - A Huge Steal

Paul Pierce, who scored 38 points, faces the basket while dribbling the ball with under a minute to play. His team trails by two.

It was a contest that had witnessed drastic mood swings. The Lakers got out to a frenetic pace once again. They took a 19-point lead in the first half. Announcer Mike Breen joked, "The Celtics have the Lakers right where they want them." He was right. The Celtics stormed back while both benches were out on the floor. Phil Jackson put in Luke Walton, Ronny Turiaf, and even little-used Chris Mihm. The result was nearly as disastrous as the results of the fast-track land-grab on Zimbabwe's economy. Doc Rivers played a little-used player of his own, Tony Allen, who paid off. The only problem for the Celtics was their comeback came too quickly.

Early in the fourth quarter, the Lakers pushed their advantage back up to 14 points. The Lakers bench came back in. Walton was joined by Jordan Farmer and Vujajic, who had another abysmal game from the field, shooting 2-10. Meanwhile, the Celtics bench, led by Posey and Sam Cassell, directed the Boston charge. Cassell is a 38-year old two-time NBA champion who scored 9 points in 18 minutes as his Celtics outscored the Lakers by 23 while he was inside the lines. It looked like the Celtics would comeback again and win the championship. Their roll could not be stopped.

Pierce drives towards the basket. Kobe Bryant, who had 15 of his 25 points in the first, shifts out of the way to let Pierce go by. Pierce forgets about Bryant and focuses on making his next move. Kobe sticks out his hand forcing the ball away from Pierce's control and races towards his offensive basket. Odom, who poured in 20 points, grabs the ball and flings it forward into Bryant's confident hands. Kobe then flushes home the ball, and with it, wins a trip back to Boston for Game 6.

I'm not really sure how the Lakers won this game. Their defense was elementary. Kobe shot rather poorly again, going 8-21. The key for the Lakers rests in the hands of Odom, who also pulled down 11 rebounds and swatted 4 shots, Gasol (19 points, 13 rebs, and 6 assists), and Fisher (15 points). The Lakers stole a 103-98 win to stay in the series.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Go Bills!

Imagine someone insinuating that the closest person to you in the world is dead. Now imagine that you are an interviewer on a national television show and your guest was the one who insinuating that your closest confidant was dead. Now imagine that your guest your loved one, a political agenda to fit the guest's motives.

Terry McAuliffe told Tim Russert that both of their dads were watching the Democratic primary race from Heaven and both were pulling for Hillary Clinton to continue. One problem, Tim Russert's dad, the subject of a book written by the famed journalist, was and is still alive.

Terry McAuliffe's comment must have weighed on Tim Russert. "What if dad actually dies? How could I possibly cope?" probably ran through Russert's mind. He recently moved his dad into a new facility. He must have sensed that time closing in. In that situation, the stress and anxiety can be unbearable.

Sadly, Tim Russert died of heart complications on Friday. Was it Terry McAuliffe's fault? No, not directly. But rarely do we realize the impact of our words on others. It's possible that his meanly ignorant comment played a role in Tim Russert's untimely death. We'll never know. Terry McAuliffe shouldn't feel guilty, but we all should learn to put things into perspective. It wasn't worth bringing up Bug Russ to further your short-term goals.

The same is true whether it is words or violence. I've often thought about Morgan Tsvangarai's family and the angst they must go through with his life in constant danger. I often think about the fallen MDC supporters. Is it worth it? Is it worth killing these people, depriving their families of a loved one over political differences, no matter how profound those disagreements? No.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Colonialism in Zimbabwe?

Robert Mugabe consistently calls the MDC and Morgan Tsvangirai "colonial stooges." He says that the MDC will restore colonialism in Zimbabwe. The Western media feeds Mugabe's spurious accusations by painting him as a madman instead of thoughtfully discussing his mistakes. Of course, Mugabe's charge is ridiculous, as it conveniently ignores the MDC's origins in the ZCTU and the NCA.

In fact Mugabe's ZANU-PF party has essentially just taken over the role of Ian Smith's Rhodesian Front. It would be crude to say that Mugabe is his generation's Ian Smith, but the way his party has attempted to become synonymous with the state harbors back to colonial days. There was no drastic change in how the government related to the people following independence. The only difference was the racial composition of the members. But the colonial system is still in place. There is still no majority rule. Similar to Smith, Mugabe takes repressive actions against all dissent, particularly when he feels that his party is threatened. That is so because, like Smith, Mugabe feels that his party is the state, so ZANU-PF must be saved for the sake of Zimbabwe.

But that is a very technical argument for why Mugabe is actually the colonial leader and not Tsvangirai. Here's another strategy. I am an American and I fully support Robert Mugabe and his bloody campaign to maintain power. The MDC has consistently stolen ZANU-PF bullets with their chests and hid them there. They've stolen fire from ZANU-PF with their live bodies. After ZANU-PF members kill those of the MDC, they make the ZANU-PF killers feel guilty and those deaths will haunt the murderers for the rest of their lives.

How would you like it if you shot someone and they wouldn't give you the bullet back, but instead, died, making you feel even worse? Listen MDC, play fair. If not, Western countries will have to step in on behalf of Robert Mugabe and stop your thievery and feelings-hurting. The West loves and supports Robert Mugabe.

He's the true colonial stooge.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Game 4 - One of the Greatest Comebacks

Lamar Odom finally woke up, blowing by his Game 3 production with 8 points in the first 5 minutes of the contest. Gasol and Odom played like long lost brothers, spiritually in tune with one another. They passed the ball back and forth and scored easy buckets at will. The Lakers were up 35-14 after the first quarter. The 21-point lead was the most after one quarter in the history of the NBA Finals.

Trevor Ariza brought energy to keep the Laker roll going. Los Angeles took a 24 point lead at one point in the second. The Celtics cut the lead to 18 by halftime, but things looked bleak for the boys from Boston. In the third, the Lakers pushed the lead back up to 20. All 5 starters scored in double figures for the fellows in yellow. But Odom only had 11 after his initial breakout (with 10 rebounds). Gasol had 17 total despite his fast start (also with 10 rebounds). Bryant had 10 assists, but only 17 points on 6-19 shooting. Radmanovic and Fisher each had 10.

Boston came back on the strength of their defense. After giving up 58 points in the first half, they allowed only 33 in the second. Garnett was more aggressive, finishing with 16 points and 11 boards. Pierce and Ray Allen both can fall into a habit of strictly shooting jumpers, but both had fantastically athletic moves near the basket during the Celtics comeback attempt. Pierce had 20 points and Allen scored 19 with 9 rebounds and 3 steals. Boston outscored the Lakers 31-15 in the third quarter.

The story for Boston was their bench, specifically James Posey and Eddie House. Posey and his championship experience scored 18. House is a shooter who can spread the court in a way that Rondo can't. Rondo is a much better defender, but he was suffering from an ankle injury, limiting his ability out on the floor. House put in 11 points and the Celtics were +20 with him on the court. When the Boston bench plays well, they win. Starting center Kendrick Perkins went out with a shoulder injury. His departure also helped Boston because their small lineup has been more effective.

Allen and Posey hit big threes as the Celtics zoomed by the Lakers late in the fourth. Despite the great comeback, there wasn't much drama. The Celtics were going to catch and surpass the Lakers. Boston won 97-91 to take a 3-1 lead.

Boston's bench is better than the Lakers bench, something that experts didn't believe before the series started. Vujajic played down the stretch and was awful. He shot 1-9 and the Lakers were -14 with him in the lineup. The more shocking key to the series is the more aggressive team controls things, much like the Zimbabwean election. You would think that both teams would be aggressive throughout, but this series has been dictated by skilled but rather soft big men. No team has ever won the NBA championship after trailing 3-1 in the Finals.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Election of 1792

I haven't been able to find much on the information on the presidential election of 1792. As far as I can see, George Washington was unanimously elected. The real race was for the Vice Presidency between future president John Adams and some guy named George Clinton of New York.

Apparently, the campaign between Adams, the Federalist, and Clinton, the Democrat-Republican, turned ugly and personal, even more so than Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe's despicable campaign against his opponent, Morgan Tsvangirai. Evidently, George Clinton went after Adams' wife, Abigail, calling her "a bad mamma jamma" and a "funky dog, nasty dog," even going so far as to refer to the future first lady as an "atomic dog." Abigail Adams responded with the words, "Well, I never," and also advised George Clinton to "go funk himself."

To counter the Hamiltonian call for a national bank, George Clinton ran under the Democratic-Republican proposal of "One Nation Under a Groove." When asked what actions Clinton would take if a national bank was ever instituted, he replied. "Tear the roof off the mothasucka." His campaign slogan was, "Vote Clinton, For the funk of it." He consistently told his audiences, "We need the funk. We gotta have the funk."

John Adams became the Vice President once again and would later win the presidency. But George Clinton had the last laugh, becoming Vice President under both Thomas Jefferson and James Madison. In his first address to the nation as Vice President, he exclaimed, “I told you my funk was the best!” It's amazing how different the political process was back then.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Game 3 - One Man Above All

Basketball is a team sport. When played properly, five players are in tune with each other, reacting to one another's movements as if they were a single unit. Occasionally, there is a player who can grab total control like a dictator (say, Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe) and dominate.

Kobe Bryant is the most clutch player we have in the league today. He's just about the best shooter there is and is one of the best defenders. That isn't to leave out his best attribute, his ability to create his own shot. This year, he's spent more energy trusting his teammates which has risen his game to its highest point of his career. In Game 3, Bryant wowed the home crowd, scoring 36 points. When the Celtics made it a game in the fourth, Kobe took over. Ray Allen looked like it was his first day on the job trying to stop Bryant.

Vujajic had the game of his life with 20 points. The Lakers needed it because both Odom and Gasol were largely ineffective. Odom got into foul trouble early again. Gasol is a great second banana, but the weaknesses in his game surfaced in Game 3. He can be soft around the basket and isn't always sure what to do with the ball.

The Lakers defense was better this time around. Pierce shot 2-14 and Garnett was almost as bad, 6-21. Eddie House saw his first action of the series and went 2-8. Only Ray Allen did anything, pouring in 25. But Kobe was the story and the Lakers came away with an 87-81 win to cut Boston's lead to 2-1.

The series has been plagued by inconsistent officiating. In Game 2, Boston flung 38 balls at the rim from the free throw line, to Los Angeles' 10. In Game 3, LA shot 34 from the stripe, while Boston took 22 attempts, but in the first half the disparity was greater, 20-4 in favor of the Lakers. It's possible that there's nothing to these numbers, but the reality is something different. The overall officiating isn't one-sided, just erratic. Has it affected the results? Maybe.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Obama Behind Warren G

Recently John McLaughlin mentioned that, if elected, Barack Obama would not be the first black President of the United States, because Warren G. Harding was "a negro." This wasn't the first time I've heard that possibility. A few years ago, I came across a (self-described) black supremacist website. Essentially, their argument for Warren G. Harding's blackness was that he had a big nose and people hated him. It wasn't a convincing case. That could easily describe a Jew.

The accusation (and that's just what it is) actually bothered me. Not because they're saying that Warren G. Harding was black, but because they're saying Warren G. Harding was black. He was a terrible president. The worst so far, depending on how historians judge Bush. Oh sure, give black people the worst president, they got the worst parts of the pig during slavery, they're used to it. What's next, is someone going to discover that Vanilla Ice has black ancestors too?

Harding was a vicious racist. That doesn't mean he didn't have black ancestors somewhere down the line, but he certainly didn't identify as black. These racial, religious, and ethnic divisions have less to do with heritage and more to do with society's perception of you combined with how you present yourself. I've been mistaken for being a Muslim, a Christian, a Colombian, a Kashmiri, a Mexican, and a pedophile.

My great great grandfather, Robert Mugabe (probably no relation to the authoritarian dictator of Zimbabwe), worked in a morgue. He used to give rim jobs to the recently deceased women there. That doesn't mean that I'm an ass-eating necrophiliac. I mean, I am. But that's not the point. The point is that Robert Mugabe licks the anuses of dead women. More importantly, if elected, Barack Obama will be the first black President of the United States of America. And John McLaughlin will still call him "a negro."

Monday, June 09, 2008

Game 2 - The Futile Comeback

The Celtics took control of the game in the beginning of the second quarter and looked destined to glide to an easy victory. Paul Pierce had 28 points and 8 assists, showing no signs of the Game 1 injury that initially appeared to end his season. Garnett had 17 points and 14 rebounds, while Ray Allen also scored 17.

The Celtics were aided by a cast of unsung heroes. Leon Powe, getting back in Doc Rivers' rotation, scored 21 points and got to the foul line 13 times in just 14 minutes. Rondo threw 16 passes that led to baskets. Veterans James Posey and P.J. Brown were productive as well.

The Lakers bench has been overrated and they didn't dispel that accusation in Game 2. The Lakers defense was sieve-like. They were down 24 points late. But Kobe Bryant never conceded defeat. He ended the game with 30 points and 8 assists. The Boston lead kept trickling away, little by little. Sasha Vujacic hit a big three to cut the lead to 6. Vladimir Radmanivic, usually a very poor defender, stole the ball and lumbered down the court to put the deficit at 4.

On the key possession at the end of the game, Bryant never touched the ball. Instead Vujacic threw up a panic-stricken three-pointer that never had a chance. Like a MDC charge towards the Zimbabwean presidency, you always had the feeling that the Lakers would come up short, no matter how noble their run, it just wasn't destined to be. The Celtics won 108-102, but the Lakers gained something from their comeback attempt. As the Finals head to Los Angeles, this series is far from over.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Milton Berle Speaks To Me

Not to be outdone by Maimonides, Milton Berle appeared to me in a vision last night. Milton Berle's words to me were a little different than Maimonides'. This is what Uncle Milty said:

Hey there buddy. What I want to tell you is... HOLY JESUS! Is that your penis? Where's the rest of it?

They can use that thing to measure inchworms.

What does your penis want to be when it grows up?

It could star next to Mike Myers’ shlong in an Austin Powers movie.

I must admit, you’re hung like a horse… a FEMALE HORSE!

Your penis is smaller than Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe’s credibility on the international stage.

Alright, I'm out. Time to lay pipe on some freshly dead broads. Later, champ.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Game One - A New Era

The fortunes of the Boston Celtics improved dramatically when they acquired Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen over the off season. Paul Pierce started the season healthy, a change from the end of the last campaign. Head Coach Doc Rivers led Boston to 66 regular season wins. With the arrival of the playoffs came a struggling and unsure Celtics bunch, despite key veteran additions to the bench throughout the season. They began the postseason with 6 straight losses on the road to counteract their 9 straight home wins. The Celtics began to regain their form in the Eastern Conference Finals against the Detroit Pistons.

The Los Angeles Lakers started the season in disarray. Kobe Bryant wanted out and even with him, they weren't expected to do much. But Bryant stayed and took his game to another level, winning the MVP award. The Lakers were also given a mid-season boost, trading for Pau Gasol. The trade was the biggest steal since the Zimbabwean government's land acquisitions earlier in the decade. Like the Celtics, the Lakers were the number one seed, but Los Angeles had an easier time in the playoffs. In the Western Conference Finals, the Lakers easily beat the defending champion, San Antonio Spurs.

Rust and nerves plagued both teams in Game One. The game was close for three quarters. In the third, Paul Pierce fell to the floor in agony. Unlike most NBA players, Pierce doesn't need a serious injury to roll around shivering in pain. He was carried off the court, but soon returned to an uproarious cheer from the home crowd in Boston. Pierce wasn't bothered by the knee, scoring 15 of his 22 in the third quarter.

The other two of Boston's big three contributed. Allen had a quiet 19 points and Garnett added a nice line with 24 and 13 rebounds, but missed 9 straight shots towards the end of the game. However, Garnett knocked the ball off of a Laker following a missed Boston free throw, a key play in the game. KG threw in a monster jam to seal the deal. Maligned point guard, Rajon Rondo, scored 15 and dished 7 assists.

Kobe Bryant scored 24, but shot 9-26 from the field. The Lakers as a whole were awful throwing the ball at the hoop in the fourth. Gasol and Derek Fisher put in 15 points and Lamar Odom had another 14, but it wasn't enough. No one took over for the Lakers when it counted. The Celtics won 98-88.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Maimonides Speaks To Me

Maimonides appeared to me in a vision last night. Thankfully, he spoke in English. This is what he said to me:

Keep going. You're on the right track. This world should not be about exclusion and division. It is about appreciating each other's differences. Judaism is fundamentally progressive and thus ever changing. Those that wish to keep Judaism frozen in time are misguided. They stringently adhere to the perception of G-d and the world by people over 5,000 years ago. While there is much wisdom in the Torah, to hold it as absolute truth denies one's ability to grow and to progress. While it is valid to maintain beliefs even if they are stuck in some nonexistent era, it is wrong to declare that only yours represent absolute truth. If you are right, then anyone who doesn't see it your way is wrong. That is a destructive philosophy, not only for the world at large, but also for the individual.

You have much to learn yet. You still need to grow. That is why you are still on Earth. But you are heading in the right direction. You understand the essential principle of this world, you know you don't know. May you stand strong and stay on the path of empathy, whether for your fellow Jews, for Muslims, for the people of Zimbabwe, et al. Keep your eyes and ears open.

And one last thing, don't wipe so ferociously. It causes small scrapes in your asshole and when you run, sweat collects and irritates the scrapes, which eventually result in the burning sensation that you're feeling.

Best Wishes.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Ian's Ugly Basketball Team

Tyronn Lue
Reggie Miller
Charlie Villanueva
Chris Kaman
Gheorghe Muresan
Aaron Williams

Does this team of ugly players make you gag? Vote here.
(Voting guaranteed to be fairer than a Zimbabwean election)

Other teams

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

David's Ugly Basketball Team

Dennis Johnson

Delonte West

Popeye Jones

Joakim Noah

Sheldon Williams

Josh Boone

Does this team of ugly players make you gag? Vote here.
(Voting guaranteed to be fairer than a Zimbabwean election)

Other teams:

Monday, June 02, 2008

Mike's Ugly Basketball Team

Sam Cassell

Mike Miller

Calvin Booth

Tyrone Hill

Bryant Reeves

John Havlicek

Does this team of ugly players make you gag? Vote here.
(Voting guaranteed to be fairer than a Zimbabwean election)
Other teams:

Sunday, June 01, 2008

The Ugly NBA Players Draft

1) Mike - Sam Cassell
2) Ian - Reggie Miller
3) David - Popeye Jones
4) David - Joakim Noah
5) Ian - Chris Kaman
6) Mike - Calvin Booth
7) Mike - Tyrone Hill
8) Ian - Charlie Villanueva
9) David - Sheldon Williams
10) David - Delonte West
11) Ian - Gheorghe Muresan
12) Mike - Bryant Reeves
13) Mike - Mike Miller
14) Ian - Tyronn Lue
15) David - Dennis Johnson
16) David - Josh Boone
17) Ian - Aaron Williams
18) Mike - John Havlicek

The teams:
Which team is uglier?
Free polls from

(Guaranteed to be fairer than a Zimbabwean election)