This is a sad day. I would like to apologize to my fellow 4th grade Stonebridge Mariners and the rest of the Rockville Baseball League. I am man enough to admit that I took HGH while I played little league baseball. That was wrong. I believe that taking the substance inflated my .118 lifetime batting average. Although, I must point out that it probably lowered my career .487 on base percentage.
I knew, as my mom was consistently injecting me with HGH, that what I was doing was wrong. I set a bad example for all of the even-younger kids who followed my career. For that I apologize. I wish I could take it back. Not really, I probably would have been even shorter than I am now. But in theory, I'm really sorry. I hope my adoring fans can forgive me.
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