Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Pee and Power

My babies have both peed on my countless times. Yet, if I pee on them, Child Protective Services will take them away. It seems unfair. I guess that;s the nature of power. It's why it's ok to say Black Power, but not White Power, I suppose.

Monday, April 17, 2017

My Babies' Bowel Movements

My babies have three distinct bowel movements.

I call the first one the Donald Dump. That's when there's a lot of sound and fury but very little substance.

The next one is when there seems like a problem, but the true horrors aren't revealed until the facts come out. I call that the Adolph Shitler.

The final one is when the babies go nuclear and everything is destroyed. That's the Harry Pooman.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

When Babies Cry

I have became an expert on determining the meaning behind each of my babies' distinct cries. Each one pretty much means, "Fuck you, Mommy and Daddy. I want you both to suffer!"

Saturday, April 15, 2017

2017 NBA Playoff Predictions

Bos over Chi 4-2
Cle over Ind 4-1
Tor over Mil 4-3
Atl over Was 4-2

Bos over Atl 4-3
Cle over Tor 4-1

Cle over Bos 4-0

GS over Por 4-0
SA over Mem 4-1
OKC over Hou 4-2
LAC over Uth 4-2

GS over LAC 4-3
SA over OKC 4-0

GS over Cle 4-2