Adolf Hitler, who assumed his position as chancellor on January 30 of this year, has been forced to resign amid allegations that he tweeted and texted several pictures of his penis to female acquaintances during his brief stint as chancellor.
The mess began last week when a picture of what appeared to be a bulge in Hitler's pants surfaced on the web. The chancellor initially denied sending the tweet to a 21 year old woman from Dusseldorf, claiming that his computer had been "hacked by filthy Jews."
As Hitler continued his denials, more pictures of him in sexual positions were exposed. The coup de grace was a text received by a female soccer reporter that featured Hitler's uncircumcised genitalia. The reporter, who asked to remain nameless, released several texts evidentially sent by Hitler.
One read: Damn you sexy. I hope youre not a Jew :)
Hitler has not been a stranger to controversy in the two months he has been in charge. Late last month, a fire burned down the Reichstag. Hitler attempted to blame his political opponents for the carnage. But in light of the recent sex scandal, it is now clear that Hitler's accusations are part of a wider string of lies and other falsehoods.
With pressure mounting from within his own Nazi party, Hitler was forced to leave his post today. In a press conference, a sullen Hitler apologized, "It is with great sadness that I feel I must leave my post today. I had a great vision for Germany. But I have let down the people closest to me. I am truly sorry for any pain I have caused."
As of today, Franz von Papen will reassume the chancellorship.