Evil Leaders League, Season 4

This is the fourth season of the Evil Leaders League. The league will continue to consist of 8 evil leaders. Five participants are returning from last season and three are new. This is a round-robin league, much like the English Premier League soccer, not a tournament. There will be a playoffs at the end of the regular season. To make sure you check out the official ELL site, you'll have to click on the link to see the winners, but don't worry no tricks, and you can still read the action on this blog. This season's Evil Leaders League (ELL) is dedicated to Ian Smith.

Let's meet the competitors:
Kim Jong-Il - leader in North Korea since 1994. Champion last season.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - president of Iran since 2005. Finished 2nd.
Omar al-Bashir - in charge of Sudan since 1989. Finished 3rd.
Pervez Musharraf - president of Pakistan since 1999. Finished 4th
Hugo Chavez - president of Venezuela since 1999. Finished 5th.
Nursultan Nazarbayev - president of Kazakhstan since 1991. New.
Than Shwe - leader of Myanmar since 1992. New.
Felipe Calderón - President of Mexico since 2006. New.

Week 1
Kim vs Chavez
A stunning turn of events has occurred since North Korea's ruler Kim Jong-Il won last season's ELL championship. Kim destroyed some of his nuclear weapons facilities. George Bush said he will now ask Congress to take North Korea off of the list of state-sponsors of terrorism within 45 days. Absolutely amazing. It's like when a wrestler that you've hated all of his career suddenly becomes a fan-favorite and as a result, he loses all of his contests. Venezuela's Hugo Chavez is coming off of a relatively bad evil season and a mixed offseason. He was about to go to war with Colombia, but decided to agree to disagree with Colombian president Alvaro Uribe. He looks at $4.25 a gallon for gas in the U.S. compared to 12 cents in Venezuela and smiles. But his former allies within the country are starting to desert him. While Kim's country will soon come off of the state-sponsor of terrorism list, technically, it's still there.
winner: check the ELL site

Calderon vs Musharraf
Mexico's Felipe Calderon is the mastermind behind a plot to chase all of his co-nationalists to the United States in order to steal our jobs. He is doing this by freezing rising food prices and fighting a war against drug smugglers. I bet he secretly sings the U.S. national anthem in Spanish, too. Pervez Musharraf, the President of Pakistan, is determined to crush Islamic terrorists. That's not evil; in fact, it's very Bush-like. But he is very unpopular in his own country. He could face impeachment soon, but refuses to relinquish power. Now we're talking, Pervez! Hanging on to power, no matter how ineffectual your leadership, oozes evil.
winner: check the ELL site

Nazarbayev vs Shwe
When Nursultan Nazarbayev (say that five times fast) of Kazakhstan isn't criticizing the movie Borat or listening to his daughter lament the global "gaying up" of men (she hates the fauxhawk and collar-popping), the president is promising that his country won't have a one-party parliament. Why would he make such a promise? It's like when someone promises you, "I won't snort cocaine." You only have to make a promise like that if it's happened already. Myanmar or Burma has a military leader named Than Shwe. Since I only get my news from President Bush's State of the Union Addresses, I can tell you than Shwe is the worst person in the world. He's beefed up his evil credentials by not allowing foreign aid workers to help his subjects affected by the recent devastating cyclone. He's the Sammy Davis Jr. of evilness, an all-around performer.
winner: check the ELL site

al-Bashir vs Ahmadinejad
Sudan's Omar al-Bashir continues to implement his Final Solution in massacring the black people of his country. Hey, that's Hitler's thing! I've never been a fan of evil dick-riding. Get your own thing. The Ultimate Answer. The Last Result. You know, something original, something catchy. You want your murderous Jangaweed militia to keep your genocide going, don't you? Iran has a little leader with a big heart named Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. He is rooting for John McCain to win the presidency so he can stay in the ELL. If Barack Obama wins, Ahmadinejad will become irrelevant and even worse, face relegation. Thank Allah for Israel and their insatiable hatred of Iran. Ahmadinejad might just grab that elusive ELL championship yet.
winner: check the ELL site

Poor Robert Mugabe. He always steps up his evilness after he's relegated. Hopefully someday he'll time it right.

standings: check the ELL site