Sunday, June 08, 2008

Milton Berle Speaks To Me

Not to be outdone by Maimonides, Milton Berle appeared to me in a vision last night. Milton Berle's words to me were a little different than Maimonides'. This is what Uncle Milty said:

Hey there buddy. What I want to tell you is... HOLY JESUS! Is that your penis? Where's the rest of it?

They can use that thing to measure inchworms.

What does your penis want to be when it grows up?

It could star next to Mike Myers’ shlong in an Austin Powers movie.


I must admit, you’re hung like a horse… a FEMALE HORSE!

Your penis is smaller than Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe’s credibility on the international stage.


Alright, I'm out. Time to lay pipe on some freshly dead broads. Later, champ.

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