Showing posts with label Goucher. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Goucher. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

An Evening with Karl Rove

Karl Rove spoke at Goucher College tonight, which was cool of him to do. The night got off to an inauspicious start as some older protestors decided to scream incoherently that Rove was a war criminal. It didn't help that Goucher's president was screaming back at them. He should've initially issued a warning that if someone made an outburst, they would be escorted out. Instead, he berated the protestors and lost control of the situation.

Rove then moved to the podium to speak and claimed that the president’s introduction was too kind, which was awkward, because it was merely a brief outline of his resume. After, Rove gave a short speech about the history of the White House that was so banal it made me consider tearing up my degrees in history. The point of his speech was that presidents have to deal with issues not always of their choosing, a truly revolutionary point.

Then, there was a little interview session with the president, because it's all about him. Did you know that the speech at my graduation was the president interviewing Maurice Sendak? It was!

The most poignant part of the evening was when Karl Rove began pointing at an Iraqi student- who was describing his experience living in Baghdad- hollering about Saddam's rape rooms. He even tried to make the student feel guilty for the rapes and deaths perpetrated by Saddam Hussein. Instead of listening to an Iraqi's take, Rove attempted to belittle him. It was a metaphor for the march to war and the subsequent justifications.

The other interesting theme was that Karl Rove wasn't sure where he stands on torture. He has two arguments in support of the U.S.'s "enhanced interrogation techniques." One is that waterboarding and other tactics are not torture. When asked whether or not he would be comfortable with U.S. soldiers receiving that kind of interrogation, he offered the second, that it is ok to torture the "terrorists," because they did not sign the Geneva Convention.

Regardless of validity, no one likes to be called a war criminal and Karl Rove is no exception. While the accusations didn't add anything, Rove surprisingly lost his cool. He was often combative. He seemed unprepared emotionally. Occasionally, he reverted to weak rhetoric and easy applause lines that skirted the question being asked. Older people tend to ask questions to get the answer, college kids ask to seem smart or make a stand. Rove missed his audience. At one point, Rove yelled at a Latina student- who was concerned with the racist overtones of the Sotomayor confirmation debate-, "Where were you with Miguel Estrada?" a judge that Bush had hoped to appoint to a high court in 2001. Depending on the year of the student, she was around ten years old.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Letter From the President

The president of Goucher College sent a letter about the recent controversy involving the hiring and subsequent suspension of a professor suspected of contributing to the Rwandan genocide.

The funniest thing about the president's letter is that he says they brought the professor in "under the auspices of the Scholar Rescue Fund (SRF), a program that provides fellowships for established scholars whose lives and work are threatened in their home countries." I guess the president never thought that maybe the reason WHY the professor was threatened in his home country was because HE COMMITTED GENOCIDE THERE!

Goucher really dropped the ball on this one. I mean, how many genocidal war criminals are there in the world? Maybe 100 or so? It seems like the odds of avoiding the hiring of a genocidal war criminal as your new French professor would be pretty good. In fact, the odds of actually dying in a genocide are much higher.

I heard Goucher is looking to hire a new chemistry professor, Dr. Joseph Mengele. He fits right in with their new political science professor, Slobodan Milosevic and the new director of Culinary Arts, Idi Amin. At least those three are dead.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Suspended for Genocide

Goucher College recently suspended a French professor, Leopold Munyakazi, for allegedly partaking in the Rwandan genocide. Ideally, that is not what this grandson of Holocaust survivors had in mind for my alma mater. I guess it's not as offensive as if I had been from Rwanda and if my grandparents didn't survive the genocide or if Dr. Munyakazi was a 100 year old German Nazi-sympathizer who speaks impeccable French. I guess those things would be slightly more offensive.

Clearly, there is a problem with Goucher's interviewing process. The end of the interview should have gone as such: "Well Dr. Munyakazi, your credentials are in order, everything looks great. You speak French beautifully. One last thing, have you have been charged with genocide?" Or perhaps, the question should have been more subtle: "Dr. Munyakazi, do you have any skeletons in your closet you'd like to reveal? I mean, literally do you have any skeletons of Tutsis or moderate Hutus in your closet right now?" Then you would have avoided this embarrassment. But the school never listens to its students.

I always suspected some of the professors at Goucher of murder and possibly rape, but not genocide. I’m shocked.

A few years ago the president of Harvard said that women were biologically stupider than men in math and science. He is now Obama's Director of the National Economic Council. According to that logic, the president of Goucher is headed for a big promotion. Secretary General of the UN might be in the cards! At the very least, he's done what he set out to do; he's put Goucher on the map. People know us now.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

The Storm that Came and Went

Whenever there is a snow storm in the DC area one line is usually uttered, "The fallout from this snow storm was much worse in proportion to the storm itself." The fact is that in the DC area, people freak out when there's snow. It's amazing because it snows every year, quite often in fact. We usually have a blizzard every third year or so. Yet, somehow, no one can take. People either drive way too slow or way too fast and it's usually a good design for disaster.

Unfortunately I had to drive in the mess yesterday. But it was well worth it. Goucher faced our main rivals at Catholic University in men's college basketball. It was the opener of the Landmark Conference. It's no secret that throughout this decade Catholic always benefited from favorable referees to a ridiculous amount at home. At one point it was so absurd that it brought me to nearly fight an official as I ran from the stands screaming threats at him. He stopped and turned and continued yelling at him until the police stepped in (who has police at a Division 3 game?). I won't document all of the bad calls the refs make at Catholic here.

Both schools have left their old CAC and moved to this new Landmark Conference, who didn't know that they were supposed to give the game to Catholic. Goucher might have even got a favorable call here or there, if you can believe it and I know that you can't. Goucher has a young and patient team that can show fits of athleticism at certain moments. As usual against Catholic on the road, Goucher got off to a quick start, but Catholic came back to take the lead by halftime.

Catholic stormed out to the big lead in the first ten minutes of the second half. This was typical. Generally Goucher plays Catholic tough in the first half and fades in the second. But this team stormed back, just like last year. Goucher rushed ahead thanks to an amazing behind the back pass on a fast break by #30 (I'm getting old, I hardly know any of the players anymore).

Before the clock was finished, the Catholic faithful pitifully walked out of the gym with their heads up their asses. It was a beautiful sight, like a gentile kid waking up on Christmas, I'd imagine. Oh, sweet vengeance. That's two wins in a row at Catholic. That was so awesome. It made my year. Kiss my ass you Catholic fucks!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Schlimazel

Last week I was driving on Monarch Road when I saw construction just ahead. One of the two lanes was closed. I waved in the minivan ahead of me. The woman gave me a return wave of gratitude. Then I looked at the window decals on the back and instantly regretted my kind action. One was right above the other:
University of Mary Washington
Catholic University

The two schools in Division III's Capital Athletic Conference that consistently beat my ala mater Goucher College in men's basketball. It was as if a Brooklyn Dodger fan waved in a New York Giants supporter unknowingly. As unlikely as it would have been to have one rival decal, this must have been the one car in the world to have decals of those two schools. And it just so happened to be the car that I waved in.

I was quite the fanatical basketball fan in college. Against Mary Washington I used to scream "EVAN!" every time their point guard touched the ball. I guess I could have yelled much worse things. And I did against Catholic. I threatened to kill their cheerleaders (who brings cheerleaders to the other team's gym and then puts them in front so that they're blocking the home crowd's most ardent fans?). I told an old bald fuck to shut up. And I screamed so loud for so long I pissed blood. Those were the 47 most confusing seconds of my life, and once I realized what was happening, they were followed by the 49 scariest. Even with my commitment, we lost almost every time. We did beat Catholic one glorious occasion, but just a couple of years later, the sky fell in.

JRR 42

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

My Men's College Basketball Teams

Georgetown - The Hoyas are the hometown team and mom teaches at the medical school. if they win the Big East Tournament they should get a #1 seed in the East in the big tournament. Got it? Center Roy Hibbard has something no other player from a contending school has: a 7'2" stature. Throw in the all-around expertise and experience of 6'9" forward Jeff Green, the good play of Jonathan Wallace, and the bench led by the energetic Patrick Ewing Jr. and the Hoyas are my choice for champ.

George Mason - My grad school. The Patriots followed their Final Four trip its worst season in a decade. Gabe Norwood was the only senior who got playing time. He was a nice role player, but it was far from the three senior leaders of last year. Next year Folarin Campbell, Will Thomas, and Monroe will be seniors and the team's record will be much better than 18-15. Jordan Carter and Dre Smith will probably be starters from the beginning and GMU should get off to a good start. Mason will probably get an NIT bid this year.

Miami (OH) - My brother's school. Still could win the MAC tournament. I didn't get to watch the Red Hawks this year, but it seems Charley Coles recruits these very athletic guys and then squanders the strength of their game by playing this slow-down offense. Peavy had a good year from what I understand. I'm just thankful that my brother graduated and I never have to drive down windy Route 27 fearing for my life that one of the local yokels from Hamilton with their red Klan candles in their windows will, well... you know.

Goucher - My college. The Division III Gophers struggled this season. At least it was better than last year. When 7-18 is an improvement, it might be time for a change at coach.

In other news:
The CAA should at least be a 2-bid league. Not only was it a Final Four conference last year, but ODU and Drexel deserve to make it this year. Both have good records which result in good RPIs. ODU beat Georgetown at Georgetown. Drexel has 14 true road wins and has beaten some tournament teams as well.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I'm Not Marshall

My brother graduated from Miami University in Oxford, Ohio. Miami's rival is Ohio University, but Ian and I have a special spot of hatred in our hearts for those fuckers at Marshall.

Now they've made a movie about Marshall and it has really fucking pissed me off. We used to yell at the opposing teams (no matter what sport or who was playing), "We're gonna kill you like Marshall's 1970 football team," or "You're going down like the plane of Marshall's football team in 1970!" Perhaps it was out of place at a Division III college basketball game between Goucher and Salisbury, but hey, it was our thing.

With the movie, We Are Marshall, our trash talk has lost all its power. It's terrible. I'm sick over it. But that's not the worst part of the movie. The worst part is that they've portrayed this plane crash as a tragedy. Can you believe that? These were awful horrible people that went to Marshall! Imagine if a plane carrying the Hutu murderers who hacked the Tutsis to bits were lauded as heroes. That's the equivalent of going to Marshall. I implore everyone to boycott this movie.


On another note I saw Rocky VI today. It's the first time I've ever seen a movie the day it came out. If you're a Rocky fan, it's a sweet end to an era. If you're not a Rocky fan, you probably won't get it. By Rocky fan, I mean if you've ever thought, "You know, it feels like I haven't seen a Rocky movie in forever," and it's only been 3 months.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Sports Update: Race, Rematch, and Redemption

Race
I've been shocked at the hypocrisy of sports writers when talking about NFL quarterbacks. Everyone agrees that Peyton Manning and Tom Brady are the current cream of the crop at position. I agree. But, you have to put Donovan McNabb in that class too. Manning is the great passer (the Marino- I hate Marino with a passion), Brady is the winner (the Montana), and McNabb is the guy who can make the impossible happen (the Elway). McNabb is a better winner than Peyton Manning has been and is probably a better passer than Brady, but he gets such little comparative credit, it's astounding. Sports writers are just not used to talking about "the black quarterback." McNabb is really the head of the first wave of black people at that position. Black men weren't considered to have the mental capacity to play quarterback in the NFL until 10 years ago. A lot of sports writers are clouded by this type of racism.

Michael Vick is a victim of the same unfair criticism. He's not a great quarterback, but he's a damn good one. However, he's treated like a little child with questions like, "Can he ever be a true NFL quarterback?" Sure he can run fast, but he can also throw a fucking football, and read a damn defense. White quarterbacks have run with the ball since the game began and have never had to put up with this bullshit. How about getting Vick some wide receivers who can catch the ball and we'll see how good he can be.

The only white quarterback that I've ever seen receive the same amount of unnecessary criticism is Jake Plummer. I really have no idea why every sports writer in America has a vendetta against him. He has brought his team from behind so many times. Yes, he's inconsistent, but that's not a reason to hate him. Plummer has never gotten the credit that he deserved throughout his NFL career.
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Rematch
Michigan is the second best college football team in America. They have one loss to the best team in the country AT Ohio State by 3 points. They deserve to play Ohio State again for the national championship. And that's the game I want to see! I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to see a rematch of a game that was great the first time around. And this go-round it's at a neutral site for all the marbles.

And can we have a playoffs in college football already? I don't follow the sport because of this type of corruption.
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Redemption
This is the 7th year that my undergrad school, Goucher College, and the men's basketball team, traveled to the gym of our rival Catholic. We’ve never won in their place in that time. Catholic, again, got off to a 5-0 start, we were 2-3. As usual, we hung in the game during the first half. Down 7 with time running out, we missed a long three pointer. Catholic got the ball and threw it up from behind the half court stripe with time running out. The ball went in. The Goucher players simply stood there in astonishment. The jaws of the Goucher faithful fell to the floor. All that scrappy play in the first half, wiped away; we were down 10 at the half.

We tried to charge up the team at the outset of the second half, but the guys came out flat. The lead ballooned up to 16. Things looked bleak for the first road win against those fuckers at Catholic. We made a bit of a run, thanks to a propeller-style defense. The points began to come slowly. Then, our best player Pierre, fouled out. He had been having a nightmarish game to that point. He was out of the game, but led the cheers, and the team didn't miss a beat. We soared passed Catholic and their douchebag fans. Damn, they're so douchebaggy and arrogant. And there was nothing Catholic could do about it. Our players celebrated on the floor and the loyal Goucher supporters, filled with elation, felt the desire to piss all over their fucking logo at center court.

Monday, November 06, 2006

One Day More

I've already mentioned that I'm voting for Ben Cardin for senate (the Iraq isue is too important) and Gerard P. Giblin for the House in MD District 8 (to send a message to the Democratic Party, we want our troops home). I'm also voting for Martin O'Malley for governor.

Republican Governor Robert Ehrlich keeps touting his record on education over the past 4 years. I just don't see what he has to tout. The state used to help private colleges with funds. I went to Goucher College, a private school north of Baltimore, which had to get rid of all of its scholarships since Ehrlich took office. It has totally changed the culture of the school. It used to be a place with ambitious liberal arts students. In the last couple of years there was a cocaine problem, because the students have more money then they know what to do with, but nowhere near the academic drive.

I've also been a substitute teacher, teaching in those portables separated from the school. Montgomery County is supposed to be the wealthiest county in Maryland, but the public school system is littered with portables. In some cases, the same portables that I went to school in.

Ehrlich accuses O'Malley of being soft on crime, but I thought the Governor has some culpability in the safety of his state. Parts of Prince George's County, near the Montgomery County border, has continually become more dangerous, because of gentrification in SE DC. What has Ehrlich done about that? Nothing. Martin O'Malley has a better plan for each issue, more than ignoring the problem and claiming victory.


(Remember, if the Democrats win both Houses or win 1 and tie the other, I beat Pat Robertson in Game 4 of the prayoffs. Pat Robertson wins if the outcome is the opposite. If it's 1-1, the tiebreaker is the Maryland governor's race.)

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Still At War

I would have loved to visit Baghdad. Unfortunately, there's still a war going on there.

Recently, I was reminded of the beginning of the war in Iraq. Students at my school, Goucher College, had planned a walkout for whenever the war would start. Many students faced the challenge of whether or not to skip class and participate in the protest.

The walkout was scheduled to happen during my "Protest of the 1960s" class. It was probably the only class that if I had shown up instead of walking out, I would have failed.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

A Win For the Ages

Many talented teams have passed through the gym at Goucher College since I first arrived on the campus in 2000. At 0-13, this year's team does not fit that category.

Mary Washington beat Goucher consistently by 20 when we were good. So, everything pointed towards a Goucher loss of epic proportions. Except there was one problem, no one told Goucher's men basketball team.

This was the first game that I had been to this season. I knew we were undersized, but we started five guards. Predictably, Mary Washington took an early lead. Then entered a couple of big men. This opened the floor up for our shooters. The game was tied at the half.

Back and forth the two teams went until the end of the game. Mary Washington's Lee stroked a jumper straddling the three point line with four seconds to go.

Four timeouts later, Goucher in bounded the ball to Jon G. He ran up the court, double teamed. He rose up 30-feet away from the basket. Two players' hands were in his face. The ball flew towards the hoop. And... it... went... in.

We danced around like we had just won the championship, instead of pulling off the first win of a dismal season. The first of many to come.