Another Historic Mistake by the Chicago Daily Tribune

CORRECTION: Yesterday, the Tribune ran the erroneous headline McGOVERN DEFEATS NIXON. As the votes continued to be counted late into the night, it became evident to the Tribune political staff that, in fact, Nixon would be reelected.

Alaska's four electoral votes and Hawaii's three were called for Nixon early Wednesday morning giving the President a close 520-17 electoral victory over Senator McGovern. The wins in Alaska and Hawaii helped Nixon grab 60.7% of the popular vote to McGovern's 37.5%. Nixon edged McGovern with 49 states to the Senator's one. Oh yeah, and DC; McGovern also won DC.

The Tribune apologizes for its error.

Schadenfreude

Rarely do I feel pleasure from the pain of others. I often hope people with misplaced values learn their lesson, but I don't wish harm on them. But Tuesday night, the crumbling of two terrible men brought me so much enjoyment.

Karl Rove had a mental breakdown as he witnessed over a hundred million dollars of money his Super PACs had raised squandered dramatically thanks to the will of the American voting public. I once saw Rove screaming at an Iraqi student during a question and answer session. The student had dared to question Rove's worldview. Instead of engaging with the student on any kind of intellectual level, Rove screeched at the student that Saddam had rape rooms and the student's sister and mother would have been raped if the U.S. had not invaded.

I haven't heard a worse comment in private, let alone a public setting. It showed me that Karl Rove does not have the ability to emotionally or intellectually process a challenge to his beliefs. This was exposed on Tuesday night. Rove challenged mathematics and looked like a fool in doing so. When the reality of the election did not fit what he believed would happen, he couldn't accept blame as would an emotionally well- adjusted person. He whined and pouted and cried bloody murder. To see a man like that falter before our very eyes on national television filled me with an unimaginable glee.

During the campaign, Roscoe Bartlett compared federally funded student aid programs to the Holocaust. Holocaust comments tend not to offend, me but this one did. I wrote Congressman Bartlett a letter. The octogenarian congressman from Maryland replied in such a callous manner as to add to the original offense.

Tuesday night, Roscoe Bartlett suffered a defeat he thoroughly deserved. He is a man, though old enough to have lived during the Holocaust, who could not understand how hurtful and despicable his comments actually were. He thought politics was a game and the people his pawns. Bartlett was wrong. The people didn't want him. They reminded old Roscoe that he has truly outlived his time. And I couldn't be more glad.

Maryland Ballot Iniatives

Here's a helpful friendly voter's guide to enable you to sift through the morose language of the ballot questions in Maryland.

Question 1 and 2: For because judges should probably have law degrees.

Question 3: For because if an elected official is convicted of a crime, why wait until sentencing to oust him? Get that sucker out as soon as he's convicted.

Question 4: For because if someone pays state income tax, they should be allowed to pay in-state tuition if they fail to get into Brown and have to settle for their safety school, UMBC.

Question 5: Against because these gerrymandered districts are ridiculous. Did you know that Washington and Harford Counties are in the same congressional district as northern Montgomery County (you know, where people actually live), because apparently those bumpkins are supposed to have similar concerns as us.

Question 6: For because as long as I'm not forced to marry a man, I don't care if you do... as long as I don't have buy a wedding present, I have to do enough of that already.

Question 7: Against because the way I see it voting for question 7 is for people who love the debaucherous shithole that is Charles Town, West Virginia, but wish it was closer to home.

I Am A Republican

I am a Republican. I believe in the greatness of America. America is the greatest country on Earth. America is the land of noble intentions as we hope to spread democracy and freedom across the globe. Indeed, it is our responsibility to do so, even among the unwilling.

My sense of self derives from the flag and the anthem. Being a member of the greatest country this world has ever known is my greatest accomplishment. As an American, it is my duty to be patriotic. I support the troops in all their endeavors. They are heroes and, by definition, their actions are right and just. They allow us to enjoy our freedom. Those who criticize the troops are traitorous.

As an American, I have the right to privacy, which entails freedom from government interjection. The government has no right in my finances or my bedroom. The government should not dictate what I can and cannot do, regardless of the safety or prudence of my actions.

All Americans should be treated equally. There should not be special provisions or privileges for certain groups of Americans. Each American should enjoy the same rights as every other American.

I believe homosexuality is wrong. I believe that we must love the sinner even if we hate the sin. Gay marriage should be illegal, because if society accepts homosexuality, then we are on the road to disaster. Illegal immigrants should not be afforded the same rights as citizens. They have broken the law by living in our great land and should be arrested and deported.

It is politically incorrect to deem my views as xenophobic or bigoted. I am entitled to my beliefs. Likewise, my positions are not hypocritical, that is merely a politically-motivated attack.

Internal Revolutions over U.S. Invasions

The recent developments in Egypt, Tunisia, and Sudan show that the people of those countries are strong. They don't need the United States to determine their political futures for them. As a result, the path of those countries is likely to be healthier- especially Egypt and Tunisia- than Iraq's or Afghanistan's. Internal revolutions are always more positive than foreign impositions. The reason has to do with legitimacy. More than freedom, democracy, or capitalism, legitimacy is the primary factor as to whether a political entity will succeed. Popular internal movements provide legitimacy, not foreign invasions.

Notes from the State of the Union Address

I think a bright line was shown in different part of the room so Joe Biden wouldn't fall asleep in the middle. That's the only thing I can think of to explain Biden's eyes quickly darting around the room.

I wonder how long John Boehner practiced looking indignant in the mirror.

It was sad watching John McCain slowly dying during the speech.

I dislike how every State of the Union Address from every president considers life a competition. The goal should be for America to play its part in the world, not crush the competition. It was also striking how Obama's foreign policy is fundamentally the same as America's has been for the past few decades.

America's Quick Fixes

In America, we legislate to the last tragedy. After the underwear bomber attempted to blow up a plane by placing explosives in his pants, the U.S. devised a plan legalizing sexual harassment of air passengers. Airport security personal were required to feel a passengers genitals in order to determine if they had a bomb in their pants.

The argument goes that if security is not increased in this way, a plane full of people could die. Are liberties more important than 200 people's lives? It is a difficult moral question. Nominally speaking, American principle falls on the side of freedom. Think of the number of wars and the millions of lives lost in the name of freedom. But in reality, it's a false dichotomy.

It seems a bit excessive to invade people's privacy in such an egregious manner because one person in the history of humankind attempted to blow up a plane with an underwear bomb. There have been countless billions of people who have graced the Earth; only one has made this attempt. No one will ever try again.

When every man heard about the underwear bomber, none thought about him as a vicious terrorist. Instead, we all thought of him as a nutjob. As a 1980s stand up comic might argue, For every other man their penis is the end, while for the underwear bomber, it was a means.

That takes us to the recent Arizona killings. The instant reaction is that politicians should tone down their exaggerated rhetoric. For once, the quick fix discussion revolves around something noble. Politicians should not associate policy disagreements to a life or death struggle. But the American media and government are still viewing a tragedy through a narrow lens. Instead of hard discussions about the state of mental health or the culture of violence that is the result of America's wars rather than of video games and movies, we get more quick fixes.

Republican Compromise?

Now that the Republicans have won the House of Representatives, and they have a political stake in the success of the government, perhaps they will finally be willing to compromise with the Democrats. They have spent two years attempting to block the Democratic program without offering solutions of their own. But now, they might be willing to give a little to get a little. Here's hoping.

But the big story of the 2010 elections is the ridiculously wide shift of power in the House of Representatives. It implies that people who voted Democratic in 2008 voted Republican in 2010, despite the often irreconcilably divergent ideologies of the two sides. It's mind boggling how politically malleable the American electorate can be. Of course, low turnout hurt the Democrats, so this shift in allegiance doesn't account for the entire shift. But district that had a liberal Congressperson, now may have a Tea Party representative.

It's also telling that Obama was blamed for the economic difficulties which began under Bush. How the electorate believes a split Congress will solve the problems is beyond me. Perhaps the compromise that I pondered above is the only chance.

Endorsements

As always, the HarazQuack Times gives you endorsements. You know about Allwine and Henry already. Here's your voter's guide form the Gazette.

For comptroller, go with Peter Franchot. Campbell is unexperienced and wants to cut corporate taxes. Chris Van Hollen is the lesser of four evils. Rob Garagiola for State Senate in District 15 actually has a platform, unlike his challenger. For the House of Delegates in District 15, Kathleen Dumais, Brian Feldman, and Aruna Miller all have a good grasp of what the county needs. Scott Graham is a reasonable choice too. The others want to cut taxes as if that will somehow help a deficit.

For Montgomery County Council, George Gluck, Marc Elrich, Nancy Floreen, and Hans Riemer are the Times choices, but the inexperienced Nixon Uncapher is a resonable candidate as well. Progressive solution is our motto. Brandman, Docca, O'Neill, and definitely Durso are the endorsements for the board. On the state questions: #1 against, #2 for, #3 for, county question A for.

Happy voting!

Green Maryland

The HarazQuack Times endorses Maria Allwine for Governor of Maryland. She favors a single payer healthcare system and isn't in the pocket of BGE. Her hands are clean as the Green Party doesn't accept corporate donations. Don't worry Democrats, Martin O'Malley will win. He has a comfortable 14-point lead. But his negative ads against Robert Ehrlich represent the actions of a typical politician. He is more concerned with keeping his political career progressing than adhering to the wishes of the largely progressive constituents he represents.

The HarazQuack Times also endorses Kenniss Henry for the U.S. Senate as a protest vote against Barbara Mikulski. Mikulski, who will win easily, was one of twenty Senators to vote against authorization of the Iraq in 2002. The vote should be commended, but she has consistently voted to fund both wars, in Iraq and Afghanistan. She tries to explain away this clear hypocrisy by spouting typical political rhetoric that she is "supporting the troops." She asserts that she will not leave the troops in the field unfunded as if that was the only alternative. It is disingenuous at best.

Kenniss Henry is the mother of former Green Party candidate Natasha Pettigrew. Pettigrew died last month as she was killed by an SUV while riding her bicycle. Henry has movingly picked up her daughter's campaign.

O'Malley Attack Ads

I'm no Robert Ehrlich fan. But O'Malley's attack ads are off putting. They're not effective anyhow. I just assume the accusations are distortions of the truth. I don't care about what the O'Malley campaign says Ehrlich did 24 years ago. What are you going to do in the next 4 years as governor? That's what I care about. Come on Martin O'Malley, you're better than that.

Looks like it might be another election where I vote Green.

A Political Trend

The Democratic candidate for Senate from South Carolina Alvin Greene.
The Republican candidate for Senate from Delaware Christine O'Donnell.
The Republican candidate for Senate from Connecticut Linda McMahon.
The Republican candidate for Governor of New York Carl Paladino.

What the fuck is wrong with you people? Are you that stupid? Do you not realize that these nutjobs could impact your lives in important ways? Choose some nutjobs that can at least perform the minimal societal tasks we demand from each and every member. Nutjobs like Jim DeMint, Chris Coons, Richard Blumenthal, and Andrew Cuomo.

The Maryland Governors Debate

I wanted to like Robert Ehrlich. I wanted to give him a chance and show that I'm not driven by ideology, but by pragmatism. For some reason, Ehrlich made that task exceedingly difficult.

Based on this last debate, I'm more ideologically in line with Martin O'Malley. O'Malley acknowledged that when your state has a horrendous deficit, taxes need to be raised. That takes guts to say, but it also makes sense. Ehrlich shockingly pulled a George Bush and asserted no taxes would be raised were he in office and tried to make it seem as if he was taking a brash stance.

Martin O'Malley called illegal immigrants "new Americans" which I felt was incredibly empathetic and political courageous. It appeals to a nonexistent voting bloc and to human decency. Ehrlich criticized O'Malley for the term and, as an afterthought, begrudgingly conceded that people shouldn't be left on the street hungry and naked even if they are illegal. O'Malley also supported equal rights for gays and recognizing same-sex marriages initiated in DC. Ehrlich was proud to say, no way.

But throughout the debate, the tone of the two was the story. Ehrlich did O'Malley a favor. I've always thought O'Malley comes across as a phony, but today he appeared measured and reasoned. Ehrlich was combative and argumentative. He was also blatantly hypocritical. He accused O'Malley of relying on clichés. To deliver this message he resorted to clichés himself, saying, "Leaders answer questions." He also accused O'Malley of "talking like a politician," another cliché.

O'Malley threw in his weight of attacks against Ehrlich. He certainly wasn't innocent. Ehrlich's attitude just made him see that way. As a result, O'Malley was impressive. He even convinced me to support the purple line.

The Case for Alvin Greene

Alvin Greene is the best candidate to represent South Carolina in the United States Senate. He has served in the military, receiving an honorable discharge from the army. He knows what our troops need to be successful. His opponent, Jim DeMint, has never served in the military.

Alvin Greene understands the plight of the average South Carolinian. He has faced hard times just like the rest of us. He has experienced the pain of unemployment. He has a plan to get people back to work. Jim DeMint has been riding high in Washington for the past 11 years. Before that, he was president of his own market research firm. It's been a while since Jim DeMint has been in touch with regular people.

Perhaps Alvin Greene isn't the most articulate candidate, as a result of his sacrifices in serving this great land. But substance is more important than flash. Alvin Greene knows how to fight. He's been fighting detractors his whole life. He hasn't been handed his successes. Our country has some difficult challenges ahead, but difficult challenges are nothing new to Alvin Greene.

In addition to his military service and ability to empathize with hardworking Americans, Alvin Greene has a degree in political science form the University of South Carolina. He has the experience and the knowledge.

Alvin Greene is a self-made man. As a good Christian, he knows a little something about faith. He risked his own scarce funds to run for the senate because he believed he could best represent South Carolinians. He doesn't have the big party bosses in Washington behind him. Jim DeMint has a campaign staff and a significant war chest. Alvin Greene has a vision for a better America and a dream of serving South Carolina as its senator. Alvin Greene won't be a slave to any party establishment. None helped him get to where he is. He achieved his nomination by the will of the people of South Carolina and those are the only people Alvin Greene answers to.

Vote Alvin Greene for the United States Senate.

Free Advice to Alvin Greene

A lot of people think you're a joke, Alvin Greene. You are certainly in trouble politically right now. But here is some (free) advice to get you back on the right track.

Let's start with your strengths. You fought in the military. Voters eat that up. Focus on that part of your life heavily. Your opponent, Jim DeMint, never served in the military. Yet, he's willing to put soldiers- other people's children- in harm's way.

You've been unemployed since last summer. That's nothing to be ashamed of. It's a tough job market. You understand what real people are going through right now. You represent the average South Carolinian. You're not locked away in Washington, drinking mocha lattés like Jim DeMint has been for the past 11 years.

Your speaking style can be endearing if you stay on message. The constant repeating and interrupting yourself can work, but only if you're interrupting yourself to say something that strikes a chord with people and then repeat it. "I... I... people need jobs. They need jobs. They want to contribute to society. Contribute to society. I know. I feel it, too."

Be adamant. You paid the election fee. You're a self-made man down on his luck. You're not a tool of any party establishment. You have a vision to make this a better country. That's why you sacrificed your hard-earned money to run for the senate.

The obscenity charge against you was, "An unfortunate incident." However, you contend, "The accused has misrepresented the situation." You "cannot comment further as it could conflict with the ongoing investigation."

Follow this free advice and you'll be competitive in no time. If you want to win though, you'll have to hire me.

Gotta Find A New World

South Carolinians may have voted for Alvin Greene, the Democratic nominee for the senate, because they thought he was soul singer, Al Green. This brings up a number of points.

Let me be clear. I am a big Al Green fan. So big in fact that I know how to spell his last name. But not so big that I would automatically vote for him if his name happened to be on a ballet. In fact, if you gave me two names that I knew nothing about their political positions and I had to nominate one for senate (an unlikely proposition as I try to find out information about candidates before I vote for them), I'd likely vote for the one that wasn't Al Green.

You see, I'd figure that Al Green has been spending his life practicing and perfecting his music. He's been on the road and in the studio. That doesn't leave a lot of time to build a foundation for a political career. The other candidate, especially if their name was unrecognizable, probably has had some kind of political career.

So, we're left with Alvin Greene as the nominee, because people thought he was Al Green, who they had no business voting for in the first place. I still think this guy was some kind of plant. But if he isn't, I'm just sorry I'm not his campaign manager. I think I could still get him the victory.

Alvin Greene, A Letterman Skit

There has been much speculation about Alvin Greene, the democratic nominee for the Senate from South Carolina. Maybe the voters thought he was the great singer, Al Green. Perhaps they only voted for him because he was first on the ballet. I'm partial to the idea that he is a Republican plant.

In South Carolina, anyone can vote in the Democratic primary. This possibility has been dismissed because, the question was asked, who would pass up a chance to vote in the hot Republican gubernatorial primary? I'll tell you who, Republicans who don't want to vote for a "raghead" like Nikki Haley (as she's been described by state senator Jake Knotts), but didn't like the other guy either. Instead, they relish the chance to humiliate the Democrats.

But there's an even more probable possibility. It's all one big David Letterman skit, just like his San Francisco 49ers head coach Mike Singletary gag. Someone feeds a faux Singletary ridiculous lines (that were at first accidently heard by the audience) that he then repeats. He repeats the line again, very awkwardly, even as Letterman is trying to ask another question.

It's one of the funniest things I've seen in the last couple of years and Alvin Greene's interviews take on a similar feel. The pauses. The repeating, even while the interviewer is asking a question. In fact, a little before the 5 minute mark in the Keith Olberman interview, you can here someone feeding Greene information about the candidate he defeated, Vic Rawl. I've solved the mystery.

To David Letterman, well played!

Tax Day Tea Party

I went to the Tea Party rally down by the Washington Monument earlier tonight. I didn't find any of the over-the-top signs that you sometimes see in the media. There were definitely people there, but significantly less than any anti-war protest I've been to. I’d say about equal to a Save Darfur rally. I left at 8pm, though.

While there may not have been any overtly outrageous signs, plenty of them demanded "their" country back and some vaguely threatened Congress. Many signs just didn't make much sense.

Obama was often called a socialist, either explicitly or implicitly. I wish these people would look up the definition of socialism. Even better, learn about socialist countries and compare them to ours. Newsflash: Many large corporations are not only privately owned in the U.S., but some pay zero taxes to the U.S. government. That's the opposite of socialism.

One sign called for a wall on the U.S. border with Mexico. This is a Tea Party rally; supposedly, these people are against taxes. Guess how that wall will be funded. And it wouldn't be cheap!

There were some interesting points made, where we'd have to agree to disagree, but for the most part, not so much. There was crazy anti-gay guy and a woman who thought Obama wasn't a target of white supremacists because he was half-white. Anyway, I'm home safe.

Give Palin A Break

Sarah Palin's been getting a lot of flack for writing notes on her hand before a speech to the Tea Partiers. In her defense, for a Republican leader, remembering to "Lift American Spirits" can be more difficult than a third grade science test.

But, as a Republican, she probably should've remembered about cutting taxes. It's pretty much their solution for everything. Recession? Cut taxes. Two wars? Cut taxes. Sore throat? Cut taxes.

What is not being reported is the reminder Sarah Palin wrote to herself on her other hand, "Don't say 'retard' unless it's satire."

Review of the State of the Union Speech

Tonight, the President of the United States came out as a socialist. He stated that he was not an American and added that his sole objective is to destroy America and all it stands for.

Wait.

Never mind.

The tone was too light in my estimation. People are struggling and angry. That wasn't the route to go. The President proposed a slew of moderate legislation, including a spending freeze and a capital gains tax cut for small businesses. He also proposed a liberal jobs bill and pressed for the watered down health care reform bill. He maintained his promise to end the war in Iraq and see the war in Afghanistan through. He also called for the end of the exclusion of openly gay people in the military.

The President told the nation that the United States must be number one. He wanted to keep jobs from going overseas. Yet, later in the speech, he advocated providing help for people of other nations. These two points on engaging the world seemed, if not contradictory, at least confused.

You got the feeling that the President could have said, "Guns for all! Abortions for none!" and the Republicans still would've sat there twiddling their thumbs. Just once I'd like to hear a president say, "The state of our nation is... well, I don't want to talk about it."