Tuesday, November 06, 2012

Maryland Ballot Iniatives

Here's a helpful friendly voter's guide to enable you to sift through the morose language of the ballot questions in Maryland.

Question 1 and 2: For because judges should probably have law degrees.

Question 3: For because if an elected official is convicted of a crime, why wait until sentencing to oust him? Get that sucker out as soon as he's convicted.

Question 4: For because if someone pays state income tax, they should be allowed to pay in-state tuition if they fail to get into Brown and have to settle for their safety school, UMBC.

Question 5: Against because these gerrymandered districts are ridiculous. Did you know that Washington and Harford Counties are in the same congressional district as northern Montgomery County (you know, where people actually live), because apparently those bumpkins are supposed to have similar concerns as us.

Question 6: For because as long as I'm not forced to marry a man, I don't care if you do... as long as I don't have buy a wedding present, I have to do enough of that already.

Question 7: Against because the way I see it voting for question 7 is for people who love the debaucherous shithole that is Charles Town, West Virginia, but wish it was closer to home.

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