A lot of people think you're a joke, Alvin Greene. You are certainly in trouble politically right now. But here is some (free) advice to get you back on the right track.
Let's start with your strengths. You fought in the military. Voters eat that up. Focus on that part of your life heavily. Your opponent, Jim DeMint, never served in the military. Yet, he's willing to put soldiers- other people's children- in harm's way.
You've been unemployed since last summer. That's nothing to be ashamed of. It's a tough job market. You understand what real people are going through right now. You represent the average South Carolinian. You're not locked away in Washington, drinking mocha lattés like Jim DeMint has been for the past 11 years.
Your speaking style can be endearing if you stay on message. The constant repeating and interrupting yourself can work, but only if you're interrupting yourself to say something that strikes a chord with people and then repeat it. "I... I... people need jobs. They need jobs. They want to contribute to society. Contribute to society. I know. I feel it, too."
Be adamant. You paid the election fee. You're a self-made man down on his luck. You're not a tool of any party establishment. You have a vision to make this a better country. That's why you sacrificed your hard-earned money to run for the senate.
The obscenity charge against you was, "An unfortunate incident." However, you contend, "The accused has misrepresented the situation." You "cannot comment further as it could conflict with the ongoing investigation."
Follow this free advice and you'll be competitive in no time. If you want to win though, you'll have to hire me.