An Ineffective Protest

At the Wilson Center yesterday former Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert spoke. He was interrupted by some pro-Palestinian protesters who screamed that he was a war criminal and that the Wilson Center should be ashamed for inviting him to speak at their institution.

The protest was ineffective. I went into the talk perceiving Prime Minister Olmert as a warmonger- I was against the Lebanon war. I left with a new appreciation of Olmert. That's probably not what the protesters- who were from SAIA (Students Against Israeli Apartheid), at least according to their t-shirts- were hoping for.

When the protesters' shouts weren't incomprehensible, they were hyperbolic. Their interruptions were rude at best. This was not a case of the voiceless making themselves heard. There was a question and answer period after Olmert spoke and they could have raised their hands and asked an informed tough question, which would have been a better alternative. If they were ignored then, that would have been the time to protest. Instead, they shirked their chance to add to the conversation productively and resorted to a gimmick.

The protesters could have asked if the justification for killing numerous innocent Lebanese and stoking the flames of anger against Israeli were really worth the short-term goals of the war. They could have asked what kind of impediment the Jewish settlers will present to the peace process. Instead, they turned their positions into a caricature by shouting nothing of substance.

Olmert answered the heckles with patience, grace, and humor. He was in complete control. He later received an inappropriate question from a Judge Grossman, who apparently is extremely right wing, and answered it convincingly. I came away impressed with Olmert's calm after receiving attacks from all sides. Jane Harmon, the head of the Wilson Center, reaffirmed her belief in free speech, but noted that the protesters, though well within their rights, had shown bad judgement. Her comments were appropriate and well-received.

For their part, the students were more nervous than anything else. The first boy paused in horror after Olmert's bodyguard motioned to security personnel. The boy cried, "What?!" in panic. Another boy's voice cracked as he whispered his inaudible protest.

Perhaps the protest would have been more effective if the students had been better trained, but I've never seen the interrupting tactic work well. I once went to a talk where Karl Rove of all people was the speaker. Rove made an ass of himself, yelling offensive rants at students who asked tough questions. The only time Rove looked good was during the interrupting protests. He merely sat there and smiled.

I also witnessed a Jewish group who berated Al Jazeera English's Washington correspondent. The Jewish group ruined the evening with their accusatory questions and statements, which were calmly and effectively answered by the journalist. But the Jewish group wouldn't quit and a chance at meaningful dialogue was missed.

I'm sure SAIA has some important things to add to the Middle East discussion. It's a shame they marginalized themselves yesterday at the Wilson Center.

From Israel Home

We were told to be int he lobby of the hotel at 6:45 am because we needed to be at the airport 3 hours before our 11;20 am flight and it would take one hour for the sherut to take us to Ben Gurion airport. So I figured we needed to be in the lobby at 6:45 as a precaution for when our sherut left at 7. Whoops. The receptionist, a young woman, knocked on our door and said we needed to get a move on. My girlfriend apologized and the woman responded, "Don't be sorry, I just hope the driver waits for you."

A gruff and grizzled middle aged man was not happy that we were late. He was screaming at me as I threw our baggage into the back of the sherut. I ran back to get my girlfriend, whose scooter was acting up. I pushed it fast, but whenever it went too fast, it would lock up. And this was happening as we were attempting to cross a busy street!

When the driver saw the scooter, he began to whine and moan that he wasn't told we were bringing this. I disassembled the scooter and fit it neatly in with no problem. It took up less room than our other two bags. We made our way to the airport. No other passengers complained about being late and we made it around the green mountains to Ben Gurion without a problem. When I unloaded the sherut (with no help from the driver), he tried to demand an extra 50 shekels for the scooter. I gave him 6 extra. We agreed the other could go fuck himself.

Once there, we tried to go through security, but we told to go to the ticket counter. A young dolled up woman who was new to her position came and escorted us around a hellacious maze of security. We were given our boarding passes and then taken to a security desk where they searched our checked bag. The checked bag had our VAT refund, but we forgot to take out the receipts before the bag was checked.

After our bag was checked, we were taken to a special staff only security gate. There, a small while bearded man eyed me. He stood beside a large brown skinned bald man. It looked like they were straight out of a action comedy movie starring Charlie Day and Ving Rhames. They asked us the same personal questions that we were asked at the ticket counter and at the baggage check in.

And we were sent back to the baggage check in place where they searched our carry on luggage and my girlfriend's scooter. This took a while. Next to us, a woman and the security guard joked about the number of bags of bomba she had stuffed into her bag. She said there was no bomba in the U.S., but the guard vehemently disagreed. She settled for arguing that there was no bomba in Denver and the guard tacitly conceded.

We were then escorted by a posse of four to a back security room where the scooter was thoroughly examined. Three more people joined our posse. One was a supervisor who kept shriveling up her face and shaking her head ominously. After another extended period where we showed them how to disassemble the scooter and some more of the same personal questions, we were permitted to go back to the baggage security check in spot. There, we packed up our carry on luggage and headed on our way with only the original young dolled up woman by our side, who kept apologizing for the rigmarole we were put through, and another security agent.

We were then led back to the staff security check in and met Charlie Day and Ving Rhames again. Charlie had promised me that once we came back we would be let straight through, but now Charlie was back tracking. I stared resolutely into his eyes, challenging him. He questioned us as to our security procedure. Ving finally cut off the process and said we could go. Charlie tried to protest, but Ving won the day. The original lady pointed towards our gate and apologized once more, hopefully now sufficiently inspired to change the Israeli security system.

We pre-boarded without a problem and made the arduous 12 hour journey to Newark. I watched Argo and Pineapple Express in addition to a ton of sitcoms. We got to Newark and cut the customs line because of my girlfriend's scooter. We chatted amicably with the customs official and scooped up our checked bag. We then dumped the bag right back off and navigated through the labyrinth that is the Newark airport. Our flight home to DC was slightly delayed. I slept for about twenty minutes on the plane. One man was very unhappy that he couldn't stow his bag on board (it simply didn't fit) and was determined to take out his frustration on the flight attendant.

We got our checked bag again, the scooter cooperated, and we took the metro back to my girlfriend's apartment. It was about 10;40. The total journey took nearly 23 hours.

Last Night in Jerusalem

While we were waiting for the elevator to take us to breakfast, a very tall couple ran into us. We are quite short. After breakfast we walked through thee Machaneh Yehuda market which are a bunch of stalls facing each other. We ran into the tall couple there too.

Then we took the tram to Damascus Gate. We had trouble finding the accessible route down to the gate. I made a dry run first. Then I came back and lifted my girlfriend's scooter over some bumps and tried to steady it as we went down the bumpy ramps. The scooter didn't react well to the ramps or the bumpy road inside the claustrophobic souks. The scooter shut down. I pushed it to the holy Jesus church. It's a cold and cavernous building.

I then pushed the scooter through the souk and up the bumpy ramps. Most people were nice enough to get out of the way. One young Arab guy slammed into the steering handle bars and the scooter crashed into him. Then he got upset, but his friend apologized. I yelled at him to be careful and he got heated, but his friend pacified him.

We tried to make it around East Jerusalem, but the scooter had other plans. East Jerusalem is like a different country. It's majority Arab and the signs are in Arabic. People walk in the street and the curbs are high. I saw two men who were very angry in the short time I was there. The money changer was ranting about Yisrael and a man screamed at his wife and then slammed the car door when he left. The wife was still in the car laughing.

We fly back to the U.S. tomorrow. We tried to change more money for a taxi to the airport but a money changer on tbe cirner of Jafda Road near Jaffa Center gave me a shit rate and then had the nerve to yell at me about it.

Yad Vashem

We took the tram to Mount Herzl and then asked where Yad Vashem was located. We made our way to it we realized we had to stop and there was a huge flight of stairs. So back tracked and went on the lower level. The museum is quite powerful. It traces from the rise of the Nazis and the relationship of each European country with its Jews. The museum focuses on the negative as the righteous gentile and Denmark and Bulgaria- two countries that saved most of their Jews- did not get much attention.

Both my girlfriend and I saw the museum as a call to action. The implicit cause is the state of Israel because after you leave the history portion of the museum, you come out upon a stunning view of Jerusalem. Israelu flags are strategically placed outside the museum as well.

We took the tram near our hostel and my girlfriend backed her scooter a few inches to leave the tram. Some jackass decided he couldn't wait and cut right behind her. The scooter ran up his leg and nearly tipped. I yelled at him.

We walked around King George Street and by Mamilla mall. We ate sliders and bought gummies. Then we had gelato. Jerusalem has some huge dogs.

The Western Wall and the Super Bowl

We woke up and ate the hostel's spartan breakfast. At the communal tables there were your typical backpacking stereotypes, the old Brits, the lanky sleepy Europeans, and the American know-it-all girls. I guess we were the PDA couple who isolated themselves and made snarky comments about the others.

Then, we meandered our way from the hostel to the Old City. We first walked through the Armenian Quarter which things like an Armenian art store and an Armenian coffee shop. Then we walked around the Jewish Quarter but never found a path to the Western Wall that didn't involve stairs. We later took the inner perimeter road to and the outer perimeter road from the Wall. Both are accessible, but you have to be in the road for parts.

We took a nap during the day to prepare to stay up late to watch the Super Bowl. I had chicken shwarma for both of my meals. After the second one, we marched to the Western Wall. I had always wanted to go there and stick a note inside. To actual be in its presence and touch it moved me to tears. I just stood next to it leaning on it for a while. My girlfriend had trouble getting near it as he had to muscle her way to touch it because the women's side is much smaller than the men's.

We went to the holiest place in Judaism on the holiest day in America. On the way back, a man veered his van into a parking and ran after us. He wanted to ask my girlfriend about her scooter and how we got it into Israel.

Then we went to Mike's Place to watch the Super Bowl because some Europeans were watching movies in the hostel's tv room. Turnovers were the story. The 49ers turned the ball over and gad two stupid penalties in the first half. Kaepernick struggled. Jacoby Jones made an incredible catch, got up without being touched, and zigzagged into the end zone. To start the second half, Jones ran back the opening kickoff in the longest play in Super Bowl history. That's when the power went out. 36 minutes later, the Ravens' Ravens'momentum had vanished. They began turning the ball over and making dumb penalties. Kaepernick snapped out of his slump and Flacco entered into one.

But the Ravens held off just enough to win 34-29. Two more field goals and a legendary goalline stand helped the Ravens capture their second Super Bowl. We walked back to the hotel as the sun came up.

To Jerusalem

The sun finally made an appearance in Tel Aviv on Saturday. We took a stroll on the beach and put our feet in the Mediterranean Sea. My girlfriend fell in when the tide shifted. We searched an Indian restaurant for lunch but the one we had pegged was clothed. A number of people where around the sea, but far fewer roamed inland during Shabbat. We were surprised just how much was closed in secular Tel Aviv on Shabbat.

Then we strolled along the boardwalk type thing by the sea and watched the sun disappear behind the horizon. We ate overpriced Indian for dinner. We grabbed our luggage from the hotel and walked to the bus station. There are people of many different ethnicities around the bus station. I noticed Ethiopians tend to have jobs such as busboys, cleaning ladies, and security guards.

A nice young man in a yarmulke helped me load up our luggage onto the bus to Jerusalem. We made it in 50 minutes and took a quite saunter besides the tracks of the tram until we got to our hostel. In the aftermath of Shabbat, the streets were so quiet. We noticed, from the few people who were out, that people are far more religious over here.

Last year at the end of Passover when I said next year in Jerusalem was the first time I was actually telling the truth.

Shabbat in Tel Aviv

The rain held off in the morning and early afternoon. I saw a homeless man sleeping on the street outside of the shwarma place on Allenby. He had a mattress and three pillows. I also saw a guy dressed in a gold cape and another dressed as robin hood.

We saw exercise equipment on the beach. Between that and all the parks, Tel Aviv is impressive. We made it back to the hotel before the hard rain and brutal winds hit. Everyday we've been in the room, the cleaning people knick the door. We scream, "No!" and they come in anyway.

We walked around tonight in search of dinner. We knew places would be closed for Shabbat. But the combination of Shabbat and the weather made. Tel Aviv a virtual ghost town.

Rainy Tel Aviv

After a short walk along the beach, we got rained on. It rained much of the day with gusting winds spraying the Mediterranean into the air. We had a few hours of relative dryness in the evening. I was able to sound out enough Hebrew to find the restaurant we were looking for as its sign was only in Hebrew. The place had good falafel. Then we walked to Dizengoff Center, which is just a collection of stores. Nearby is a collection of cafes. We sat in a park. Tel Aviv is filled little parks. It's also filled with domesticated dogs, stray cats, and argumentative drivers.

At breakfast, my girlfriend fed a stray cat that was huddled under our table against my protests. One time, she was too slow in releasing the food and the kitten scratched her and drew blood. Hopefully she doesn't lose that finger.

Then we ate at McDonald's. I had a fake cheeseburger which was terrible. At one point, I was trying to see the English menu, but this teenager would not get out of the way even after I said excuse me twice. So I gently guided him out of the way by force. McDonald's was expensive because of the Mediterranean view, but it was dark, so we were paying extra for nothing.

Then we went for a walk on the beach again until in threatened to rain. It's rainy and windy now. The streets are named after famous Jews in history.

The Tel Aviv Run Around

After a scrumptious breakfast that included eggs, salad (which I didn't eat), juice, and hot chocolate, my girlfriend and I took a nice stroll up Rothschild Blvd and back down King George. By the end, it started to rain on us. Later, I had a meeting with  couple f Israeli boxers. I was told to go to Noah Street. It was a three and a half mile walk that included the same street changing names about seven times. I finally made it to the address and went into the building. It turns out it was a synagogue. I asked some other people and they had no idea what is boxing.

I asked an old man and he directed me to some smoking 12 year olds who pointed to the high school nearby. I asked one to walk me to the high school and he was kind enough to do so. Once at the high school, I only found a kid's krav maga class and a gymnastics show. I ran up  down the stairs searching for the gym, but couldn't even find a hint of it. I went outside and asked a man on his cell phone if I could call the boxer. He let me borrow it and told me the neighborhood I was in. It was the wrong neighborhood. I needed to get to Azraeli and Noah Mozes Street. Everyone was in agreement, I shouldn't take the #25 bus. They just didn't know which one I should take.

I tried to take a bus, but it wasn't coming, so I took a taxi. The man talked  me in broken English about American politics. After hearing that Obama favors government paid unemployment and Romney was against that policy, the driver pronounced that issue was the reason Romney had lost. This new address led me to a cafe. One more call to the boxer and I learned the gym was next to the cafe.

I talked with two boxers for an hour and had my picture taken with them. On the way back, no one could tell me which bus to take, so I took another taxi. This driver lamented the fact that you're not allowed to make left turns in many cases in Tel Aviv. I got out and sprinted to meet my girlfriend. I was over an hour late. We had dinner with a family friend and made it back to the hotel room minutes before a demonic rain  and wind storm.

To Tel Aviv... Eventually

We packed up our belongings, stuffed them into a car and left our Amman life headed west towards Israel. The man who picked us up from the airport drove us to the bus stop for Nazarene bus company. He calls me Steven. I'm not sure why.

We loaded our stuff below the bus and hopped aboard with no food in us and upset stomachs. Us and a pair of nuns constituted the foreign population on the bus that would eventually fill up at Irbid in the northwest of Jordan. The nuns spoke Arabic.

Our bus driver was incredibly nice. On the Jordanian side of the border, we unloaded our luggage and scanned it. The driver asked a guard if we could eschew scanning my girlfriend's scooter. The guard said yes. My girlfriend was permitted to stay on the bus. Then we paid our 10 JD to leave Jordan and got our exit stamp. I got my girlfriend's exit visa, but passport control said they needed to see her. They stamped mine and took my picture. So I went to get my girlfriend. The driver took my girlfriend's passport, smoothed things over, and we were set.

On the Israeli side, we were ushered ahead of the others and asked a series of probing questions. My girlfriend was requested to tell about her "problem." After I hoisted our luggage onto the security belt, I was summoned by another security worker to go through the contents of my little backpack. Upon seeing the water from the hotel water that I had pilfered (it was free with breakfast), which was in a cup suited for jello, she asked, "What is this?" I told her and she laughed, "The water in Israel is good. You don't need this."

Then we moved on to passport control. This man asked similar probing questions. "What are our parents' names? Why are we coming to Israel? What are we going to see?" and I was asked why I went to Turkey. Our passports were stamped and we were on our way. I saw the passport control guy in the bathroom a little later which made him seem like a real person.

Israel is a lot greener than Jordan. People at least pretend to follow the rules of the road. And there are curb cuts, so my girlfriend is able to use her scooter. When we got to Nazareth, our bus driver found out where we needed to wait for the bus to Tel Aviv. We flagged down that bus. The driver was curt and barely acknowledged my questions. I threw our baggage underneath and disassembled the scooter before shoving it with our luggage.

My girlfriend uses a wheelchair back home, but in Amman we had to walk. It was a nice excuse for her to hold my arm as public affection among the sexes is rare in Jordan. She was amazing traversing the beat up sidewalks that decked the arduous hills. But we had finally reached an impenetrable obstacle. The first step to the Egged bus 823 to Tel Aviv was almost waist high. I grabbed her by the waist and flung her onto it. The bus driver snapped for me to pay.

We then stopped at Nazareth's bus station and the driver told me in English that there would be a ten minute break. I appreciated his telling me. He later asked where we wanted to be dropped off. At one point, a goofy looking chubby guy asked me a question in Hebrew. I ignored him. He asked again. I told him I didn't speak Hebrew. But it was nice to know I look like I fit in. My girlfriend and I were happy to finally hold hands in public once we were on the Egged bus.

We walked a mile to the hotel from Central Bus Station, which must be located in Little Ethiopia, to our hotel. The hotel, Beach Front Hotel, charged us for a day we weren't there, which is infuriating. The whole trip took about 9 hours. We then grabbed a bite from a local Italian place, finally eating something, and argued over whether the free appetizer was the actual meal or if more was coming. More came. When we left, the woman at the restaurant raced to open the door for us and pulled down my fleece that had climbed up my back. Then we slept.

Two Boys

We have two seventeen year old boys. Khaled is from Gaza. Ehud is from Jerusalem.

Khaled believes Israel is an evil nation. It is a country mostly filled with murderers, who derive pleasure from persecuting Khaled's people. Their souls are blank and their hearts dark. They hold guns and point them at Khaled. Khaled knows if he looks wrong, an Israeli will shoot him dead without giving it a second thought. Khaled's family has no money and Khaled has no opportunity to pursue his educational goals any further. He knows Israelis view him as an animal and he isn't far from away from embracing that view.

Ehud watches an Arab teen walk by on the streets of Jerusalem and knows that this kid has hate in his heart for Ehud and his people. This kid, or somebody like him, will blow himself up just to kill some of Ehud's people. The hatred runs that deep. Ehud's family has been targets sixty years before. That persecution is the reason why Ehud lives in Jerusalem, attempting to make a life for himself free of violent oppression. He vehemently resents these Arabs who act to deny his dream.

These two, Khaled and Ehud, are irreconcilably different. Khaled's favorite non-Rocky I Rocky movie is Rocky III; Ehud's is Rocky IV. Khaled listens to 50 Cent; Ehud prefers Eminem. Khaled likes Angelina Jolie; Ehud thinks Scarlett Johansson is hotter. Khaled roots for the Lakers; Ehud, the Celtics.

Khaled hates America; Ehud loves America.

These two boys will never live together in peace. They possess impenetrable differences.

A Statement of Peace and Love

The reality is that many Jews and Arabs cannot even truthfully utter the words: We desire peace with the other. At that thought, a wave of sadness rushes through my blood. We cannot express the most instinctive and yet most evolved human emotion conceivable, love, for each other. Not every Jew has heard from his or her own lips, the sentiment, "I have love for Arabs." Far from it. Not every Arab can claim to have even once declared, "I have love for Jews." Far from it. We are unable or, more accurately, unwilling to brush away the dirty hatred to uncover the glaring jewel of love that each of us possesses for our fellow human beings, regardless of our superficial distinctions. Every human has a heart and each of our hearts is linked together in an unbreakable bond of love. But most of us choose to ignore our profound sameness with every other person in the world. Instead we are so consumed by self-interest that we fail to feel the slightest bit of empathy for anyone when we should feel empathy for everyone, especially those that wish to do us the most harm. How will we understand our enemies if we do not wish to open our hearts long enough to even listen to him or her? We cannot defeat hate with hate. Only unconditional love can transform the ugly stain of hatred and antipathy into love and respect.

But we must first begin by expressing our desires for peace, love, and understanding before we can ever dream of achieving those lofty precepts.

Ana, the Jew who's Liberal About Everything Except Israel

My name is Ana. I am a Jew. I am liberal. I believe in the fundamental good of the human heart. We are all put on this earth to help one another, and that should hold especially true for our governments. Government, at its best, is a collective of representatives striving to provide its citizenry with an opportunity to meet their needs. Sometimes that simply means government should get out of the way, while other times, such as in the United States today, government has a responsibility to provide every American with health care. Government must take an active role in solving the impending environmental crisis. Government needs to give poor people a chance to succeed.

Government does not exist to instigate military actions against other nations. I have been opposed to George W. Bush's wars because they are aggressive actions against oppressed peoples. The civilians of Iraq and Afghanistan have been the true victims of the military incursions. A few horrible attacks against Americans will not bring down the United States. However, an intensive bombing campaign against poor nations will destroy the fabric of their societies. With regards to foreign policy, the United States should use compassion for the degraded peoples of the world, not treat them like pawns in a geo-political game. Too often the United States supports violent and oppressive regimes at the expense of the masses of the particular region. In general, our government needs to be more empathetic to the voiceless people in the United States and abroad.

When it comes to Israel, it is really a security issue. Israel has a right to not be attacked in any manner. If attacked, Israel has the right to bomb its enemies into smithereens for the sake of security. Hamas hides away in civilian areas, so civilians will die. Too bad. It's Hamas' fault. Israel needs to ghettoize the Palestinians so these terrorists don't strike in Israel. The nation of Israel is at stake. If bombs don't rain down on the Palestinians, they'll never learn. They are evil and should be punished. We must get rid of them and not even say Kaddish for their sorry asses.

Israel Needs Peace

I saw some pro-Palestinian protestors holding up signs proclaiming the recent violence in Gaza as another Holocaust. The death of hundreds of civilians is a tragedy, but in relation to the Holocaust it's like comparing a half-full bathtub to an ocean. To these morons, I suggest reading a book about the Holocaust. And not one by Arthur Butz either. Of course, these people acknowledge the existence of the Holocaust, otherwise they would be demeaning their own cause. Murder is wrong in all of its forms, but scale does matter. This offensive comparison alienates sympathetic Jews. A horrible invasion and the deaths of a few hundred people is abhorrent, but it has little in common with the systematic execution of six million people.

However, far worse than erroneous comparisons to the Holocaust is the Israeli invasion into Gaza itself. Israeli officials have apologized for the deaths of Palestinian civilians. Apologies are not going to bring these people back to life. If you step on someone's foot, you apologize. If you murder someone's family, an apology doesn't exactly cut it. This action is supposedly in retaliation for Hamas rocket fire. A way to stop militants is to alienate the rest of the population by killing their families? This logic is so inexcusably stupid. Stick your hand into a beehive and kill a couple bees; see what happens. Kill one Hamas leader and create dozens more. People fire rockets because they feel hopeless and disaffected. Bring these people into the discussion and give them hope. Don't kill random Palestinian civilians.

Israel Turning 60

As Israel reaches its 60th anniversary, we really have nothing to celebrate. Anti-Semitism is as present as it ever was. Instead of providing protection for Jews, Israel has lulled us into a false sense of security. People still hate Jews and now they have a new justification: the actions of the state of Israel.

Anyone who criticizes Israel's actions is called anti-Semitic. There are certainly anti-Semites who criticize Israel, but this blanket accusation gives them cover. We must listen to the criticism and then decide who is bigoted and who is simply a critic.

After 60 years, we care more about the state of Israel than for our people. The most important sentiment should be the well-being of the Jewish people, separate from that of Israel. If anything, Israel's military actions and racism has exacerbated anti-Semitism across the world instead of softening it. We need to change our attitudes towards Arabs and Muslims. We need to strengthen relations with those groups and we need to hold a bit more skepticism towards Zionist Christian fundamentalists.

We need to learn from our tortured history. We have known repression. We should have learned better instead of using this turn of history to repress others. Hopefully at some point we will learn the hard lessons of the last 60 years.

A Jew on Arabs

An acquaintance, who is a Jew, saw my away message on AIM and then wrote me. Here's the brief conversation:

Anonymous: that asshole probably threw rocks too
My away message: "If you throw a rock you will maybe hit one person and injure him, but if you throw words on the microphone you will touch all the hearts." Tamer Nafar (Arab-Israeli emcee)
Anonymous: fuck him
My response (a bit later): hey c'mon now. it's a pretty innocuous, even peace-loving, comment. he's saying words are more powerful than violence

It's not a good sign when we as Jews can't even listen to a remark like Tamer Nafar's without resorting to blind anger. We must listen to people from other races and religions. We must WANT to unite and achieve peace. We must try to see the good in others. And we must confront our own when they stray from the basic logic and reason.

A New Love

I'm in love with Miri Ben-Ari, a Hip Hop violinist born in Israel. A Jewish woman who enjoys Jazz and Hip Hop and advocates for civil rights- what more can a guy ask for?

But that made me think- what can I offer her?

She was in the army and can probably kill me two times to Tuesday, so I might not be able to play the "protector" role. She's a world renown musician; I've bought some CDs from around the world. She's very beautiful; I'm a diminutive hirsute man. She is a genius at her craft; everything I touch fails miserably (I'm like a bizarro King Midas).

Hmm, perhaps not much.

As far as I can see, I have only one thing going for me. Unlike disgraced Israeli president Moshe Katsav, I've never raped anybody.

Forget Kerri Strug, Miri Ben-Ari is where it's at!

Israel, Child Predators, and Astronauts' Diapers

Recently I talked with convicted child predator Rabbi David Kaye about the situation in Israel. This is that conversation:

Rabbi Kaye: Hey there sexy.
Me: Sorry Rabbi, I'm actually too old for you; I'm just short.
Rabbi Kaye: Oh ok. Got any younger brothers?
Me: Um, let's move on. Rabbi, I wanted to ask what do you think about Israel?
Rabbi Kaye: Israel exists to protect the Jewish people.
Me: Hmm, I see Israel protecting the Jewish people in the same way a child predator believes that he is protecting the child. In reality, the predator fucks the children and leaves them scarred. True protection would have benefited the child, but this actually had nothing to do with protection, it was about releasing aggression. The predator does not have the child's best interest at heart and neither does Israel with regards to the Jewish people. Rabbi?
Rabbi Kaye: Huh?
Me: RABBI, STOP CHECKING OUT THOSE KIDS ON THE PLAYGROUND AND PAY ATTENTION!


The astronaut- who drove from Texas to Florida, wearing a diaper so she wouldn't have to stop, to kill a potential rival for her lover- is a bad thing for women. It furthers the stereotype that women are irrational and emotional, just like Rabbi Kaye is bad for Jews, furthering the stereotype that Jews are blood-sucking devils.

But then I thought about it a little. If you don't want to stop on a journey, wearing a diaper makes perfect sense. It's totally rational. I mean, not wanting to stop because you're trying to kill someone is not so rational. So in the end, it's about 50-50.

Condemnation Station

Organizations such as AIPAC and AJC are quick to condemn suicide bombings within Israel, but they fall strangely silent when it comes to condemning the Israeli military's use of deadly force. I condemn all violence as tragic and fundamentally counterproductive to the objective of peace.

The justification of self-defense can only hold for so long. When the cycle of violence persists, self-defense can no longer be claimed. It's as if two guys are wailing on each other for about an hour and before each punch, one guy cries out, "Hey, self-defense! Self-defense!" It doesn't fly. That being said, my horns are starting to itch, so I'm gonna get some powder and Christian baby blood. The Christian baby blood has nothing to do with my itchy horns, I'm just thirsty.

Nazi Zionist Pigs?

I'm in favor of a Palestinian state and I want to see the lives of the Palestinians improve dramatically. But let me drop a little Jewish paternalism on you.

The Palestinians (this is probably just a loud minority) need to make up their minds if they want to give their struggle any credibility: Either the Holocaust never happened or the Israelis are like Nazis; it can't be both, you gotta pick one fellas.

Given those two choices, I'd pick the Nazi-Israeli comparison. The problem with the comparison is that it's meant to speak to sympathetic Jews, but is really just offensive. I have a friend who claimed during last year's NBA playoffs that Dirk Nowitzki was the best basketball player of all time. Now don't get me wrong, he's a great player, but with a statement like that, I'm put in the position of having to explain why he's not the best player of all time, instead of explaining his great attributes.

As bad as the situation is for the Palestinians, there has not been anything close to an attempt at extinction, so the Israeli-Nazi comparison is a bit of hyperbole and distracts us from real-life concerns.

Moving on, I agree that Jews and Israel are two separate entities. You can be anti-Israel[i policy] and not anti-Jewish at the same time.

However, I've heard many Muslims define the problem as Zionism (and not Jews). Their definition of Zionism is a violent imperial force, not associated with any religion. I understand what they're talking about, but you need to find another word.

Zionism already has a very distinct definition: It stems from 19th century European anti-Semitism and is the belief that Jews need a nation-state of their own to avoid discrimination, preferably but not necessarily in Israel. With that definition, I am a Zionist. So when you rant against the Zionist pigs, you are talking about me and then I don't feel like hearing you. Something like apartheid is a better word. Many Jews fought the South African government to eradicate that oppressive system of government.