By: The Assorted Press
Three men were found impaled in a fence last night. An eye witness to the discovery described the men as "more gate than men," when they were found.
All three men attended the Voters Appreciation Day party held last week and hosted by the Dear and Fearless Leader. In addition, all three men had voiced opposition to the Dear and Fearless Leader's policies over the past few months.
Some have speculated that these men have fallen victim as part of a crackdown against an alleged whistleblower who produced tape recorded inappropriate comments made by the Dear and Fearless Leader at the aforementioned party.
However, it is unknown whether the Dear and Fearless Leader has had any hand in the apparent murder of these three men. But many see the connections as rather damning circumstantial evidence against the Dear and Fearless Leader.
Pundits are labeling this new scandal involving the murdered men Gategate. More details on Gategate as they come about.
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