The NBA's Restart Plan in Unfair

The NBA's plan is better than the MLB's, I'll start there. A bubble is the way to go. I mentioned in my post about the MLB that boxing and MLS have shown a bubble is not covid-proof. Between 20-25% of boxing matches in Top Rank's Las Vegas bubble were canceled because someone tested positive for coronavirus. Boxers were only allowed to take one or two people with them to the bubble. Two MLS teams had to abort their attempts to play in the restart because of the disease.

If LeBron or Giannis get coronavirus, the season will essentially be worthless. I believe the NBA should have simply played the Finals and moved on to the next season. The Bucks and Lakers were clearly the best team in each conference over 65 games. A Finals between the two would have had more legitimacy than a season in which the team with that is least affected by covid will win. And now next season and probably the following season will be impacted.

I can't believe the NBA is trying to play the entire playoffs. Over the past 20 years the first round has a couple of good matchups in the West each year, but most of the first round is predictable, and drags on, and the only real excitement comes from the home fans, which will be absent from the bubble. Now, most of the first round won't be worth watching. even for a die-hard like me. And I watch almost every playoff game each year.

I really can't believe the NBA is trying to play 8 extra regular season games. It seems like a huge risk for very little reward. One theory postulates the 8 extra regular season games each of the 22 teams have to play is an attempt to get Zion in the playoffs. If that's true, that's incredibly short-sided. After four months off trying to throw a rookie into the most intense basketball he's even played less than a year from a major injury sounds like a recipe for disaster. It is extremely unfair that any team within four games of 8th place would have any chance to make the playoffs. It's as if wins and losses don't matter any more.

All the extra games are extremely unfair to the Lakers and Bucks. The 8 regular season games and 4-game rule is extremely unfair the 8th seed teams. And why are the Wizards in the bubble? Get them out of there.

MLB's Covid Plan is Stupid

The MLB is set to embark on a 60-game journey through the coronavirus-infested United States. Unlike pretty much every other American sport, MLB is eschewing the bubble concept, instead demanding its team to travel the country.

As a boxing fan, I closely watched Top Rank's Las Vegas experiment. Top Rank attempted two cards a weeks, about six fights each card. The boxers were only allowed to bring a couple of people into the bubble. About 20% of fights were canceled because of positive covid-19 tests. In boxing, a canceled match can be disappointing, but the show can still go on. In team sports, it will be difficult to imagine how the leagues will deal with canceled games. The MLS had a very modest plan and multiple teams had to go home because of positive tests.

Hopefully, I'm wrong and it's a fun sprint, but one of the best case scenarios is the MLB finishes the season and the playoffs, but the champion is just basically the team that had fewer impact players testing positive for covid-19. Also,m why would they institute the DH for every game? It seems like they're moving in the wrong direction. Wouldn't you want fewer players active in each game and each game to be as quick as possible? If anything, baseball should move toward extinguishing the DH, a ridiculous gimmick from the 1970s that saps the game of its strategy for pure meathead offense. The DH is also illogical. It's like have a designated free throw shooter in basketball or a designated punch absorber in boxing.

It's quite possible that baseball games will be canceled outright and teams, if not the entire season, will have to shutdown prematurely. Hopefully, before someone gets terribly sick. I love watching sports, but not at the expense of people dying. I hope the players and staff stay safe.

Blake Ness, Railroaded Genius

Dartmouth grad Blake Ness, who worked for the Daily Caller before he became the head writer for Tucker Carlson's show, resigned this week. It was discovered that he had been posting supposedly bigoted remarks under the pseudonym CharlesXII in an online forum.

People who are quick to judge don't understand Blake Ness. Blake was idolized in this online forum. He felt not only a part of the group but was accepted as the titan he always perceived himself to be. After one leaves college and fails to go to graduate school, life is lonely. In Washington D.C. there isn't a lot of chance to fraternize with conservative thinkers and even if that's not true, they certainly wouldn't have accepted Blake Ness. No, the semi-anonymous online world was the only place Blake could "belong."

Blake Ness is 30 years old. His hairline is running away from his doughy face faster than advertisers flee Tucker Carlson's show after he reads on air something racist Blake has written. Blake has man boobs. He's noticeably short. None of these are necessarily negative attributes, but in Blake's mind they are.

Blake doesn't date much, but when he does, he jokes about the fiery deaths of a couple million people. When the date fails, he doesn't blame his insecurity and desperation. He blames his rodent-like face which is exposed by his retreating pili. He faults the subtle jiggle of his fleshy chest as he walks. If only he realized he needed to put himself out there more and tamp down his self-absorption and radiating self-pity, he could find love. If he devoted his time to listening to others- whether they are of a different race, gender or sexual orientation- he could make his mark on this world in a positive way.

Instead, we all know how this will end. He won't find love. His career as a rising conservative player has been dashed. It's over. He'll eventually move back to South Dakota. As the years pass, he'll become increasingly radicalized and lose touch with reality. An incoherent manifesto, not unlike a script for Tucker Carlson's show, will be found. Lives will be lost. Blake Ness will be in the news once again. A tragedy he alone could have averted.

Poor Larry Johnson

Ex-NFL running back Larry Johnson is suffering these days. He believes he has CTE although it can only be confirmed after he dies. CTE results in headaches, memory loss, and violent urges. It can sometimes be blamed for violent actions, which is something Larry is no stranger to. He has been arrested multiple times, including for domestic abuse. But a new symptom of CTE has been discovered. Apparently the disease causes Larry Johnson to tweet made up anti-Semitic conspiracy theories. This symptom wasn't known until recently.

Larry has two preferred methods of anti-Semitic conspiracy theories.The first method is he makes up anti-Semitic quotes. I'm not going to share any, but I will share my own made up anti-Larry Johnson quotes:
"Larry Johnson's facial is actually just his own shaved butthole hairs that he glues onto his face." - The Bible.
"CTE is responsible for all of my personal failings." - Larry Johnson.

The other kind of anti-Semitic conspiracies Larry peddles in are where he mentions two unrelated things and implies that they are somehow related in an anti-Semitic way. Let me explain with an anti-Larry Johnson example:

"Larry Johnson played for Penn State at the same time pedophile Jerry Sandusky was raping children. I think we all know what that means..."

The implication of course is that Larry Johnson is a pedophile when in all likelihood the two statements are unrelated. Larry Johnson's dad, however, worked under Sandusky for a number of years. The head coach knew about the horrible abuse, but not Sandusky's direct understudy? Hmm. Where's Larry Johnson to make sense of it?

I tried to pull some numerology and come up with a way Larry Johnson is Satan, but when a crunched the numbers all I could come up with is that he is a sad lonely man whose use to society has long since passed. He could use his platform to help people, but instead he chooses to sit alone indignantly tweeting barely coherent conspiracies into the abyss.

He can't separate undeniable fact from inconvenient fiction, he can't remember entire sections of his life, but he, Larry Johnson, has been able to sift through the noise and find conspiracies that no one else can. Listen Larry, get the butthole hair off your face, delete your Twitter account, and help someone. Start with yourself.

Ami Horowitz's Biography as if Written and Edited by Ami Horowitz

Ami Horowitz's mother, an Israeli citizen, was pregnant with Ami during the Yom Kippur War. Ami's mother didn't fight in the Yom Kippur War. The Yom Kippur War didn't go well for the Israelis.

Ami was born in Los Angeles, where riots engulfed the city after the Rodney King verdict. He attended college at USC, which was implicated in college admissions bribery scandal. After college, Ami ran a Democratic candidate's campaign for state comptroller in Maryland. His candidate lost. It wasn't Ami's finest hour as few Democrats lose in Maryland.

Horowitz decided to leave public service in order to fill his wallet. He worked as an investment banker for Lehman Brothers. Lehman Brothers was one of the primary catalysts of the 2008 financial meltdown and had to cease operations after 158 years that same year.

Horowitz is now a filmmaker. His genres include absurdism, not-very-realistic fiction, and alternate reality. He can be found inventing no-go areas in Stockholm, places where supposedly Swedish police cannot venture because refugees have made it too dangerous. He has also seen wandering around Harlem harassing black people for their IDs which somehow proves that voter ID laws don't make it harder for poorer folks and the elderly to vote.

Horowitz describes his art as, "dishonestly... edited... because... these... arguments... would not... hold... up... in... an... honest... [intellectual]... debate." He likes dogs just like Hitler and drinks water like Stalin. Ami currently works for Prager University, which- in keeping with the nature of his work as a filmmaker- is not a university at all.

Though a conservative, in 2019 Horowitz ran ironically for president as a Democrat. It served as an enlightening social commentary when Stephen Colbert ran ironically in 2007. Unlike Colbert, Horowitz's campaign was barely noticed.

After his failed candidacy, Horowitz declared, "I am... a... horrible... person... without... morals... who is... using the... right [wing]... to... cash... in... after... my.... career... as a (sic)... investment banker... collapsed."

Horowitz lives in New York, which had been the epicenter of the coronavirus-2019 outbreak in the United States. Over 32,000 people have died because of the virus in the city and Horowitz resides there.  🤔

An Open Letter from Mark McCloskey

I'm Mark McCloskey. You may know me as the guy who valiantly defended his family and his community with a semi-automatic rifle in the face of menacing unarmed protesters. Others may know me as a high-priced lawyer slash sex symbol. I'm what's known as a DILF or a "Daddy."

You've heard THE MEDIA's side of the story. Now it's time you hear mine. I am the victim! I have been painted as a racist, but nothing could be further from the truth. I interact with many African American persons. I have counted seven such interactions within just the last six months alone!

When my wife Patricia and I moved into our current house, the community board assured us that there would be no more than three American American persons allowed in our gated community at any one time. This is not a racist policy. It's simply a safety precaution. Our community is a gated community and, as everyone knows, "gated" is actually an acronym. It's stands for:

Gno
Apeople
Tof
Ecolor
Dallowed

When my wife told me there was a troop of ni--, uh African Americans, she said African Americans, I instantly understood that we were in dire peril. We grabbed our guns and goosestepped outside in a hurry. I'm not a racist. I've had black clients and they love me. I would even go so far as to say they are my friends. Because they are my friends, I always make sure to charge them at least full price for the sake of their dignity. When my wife and I got outside, we were horrified. There was a racially diverse mix of individuals chanting, "Black Lives Matters!" My world was shaken, I became very uncomfortable, and I started sweating uncontrollably. Instantly, we knew that our lives did not matter to these THUGS! As everyone knows, lives mattering is a zero-sum game. If your life matters then by definition mine doesn't. I am a victim.

I'm not a racist. When I see an African American person, I always say, "Sup!" and try to do their weird handshake. But when I point a deadly weapon at one little peaceful protest then suddenly people are calling me the worst racist ever. It's like all those "Sups" and all the love of all those African American clients don't count. This is THE MEDIA at work.

If I had to do it all over again. I'd point my semi-automatic rifle at those peaceful protesters again. I have a right not to be inconvenienced. I have a right not to be confronted with uncomfortable truths. I am a victim.I have a right to describe myself as a DILF!