Ami Horowitz's Biography as if Written and Edited by Ami Horowitz

Ami Horowitz's mother, an Israeli citizen, was pregnant with Ami during the Yom Kippur War. Ami's mother didn't fight in the Yom Kippur War. The Yom Kippur War didn't go well for the Israelis.

Ami was born in Los Angeles, where riots engulfed the city after the Rodney King verdict. He attended college at USC, which was implicated in college admissions bribery scandal. After college, Ami ran a Democratic candidate's campaign for state comptroller in Maryland. His candidate lost. It wasn't Ami's finest hour as few Democrats lose in Maryland.

Horowitz decided to leave public service in order to fill his wallet. He worked as an investment banker for Lehman Brothers. Lehman Brothers was one of the primary catalysts of the 2008 financial meltdown and had to cease operations after 158 years that same year.

Horowitz is now a filmmaker. His genres include absurdism, not-very-realistic fiction, and alternate reality. He can be found inventing no-go areas in Stockholm, places where supposedly Swedish police cannot venture because refugees have made it too dangerous. He has also seen wandering around Harlem harassing black people for their IDs which somehow proves that voter ID laws don't make it harder for poorer folks and the elderly to vote.

Horowitz describes his art as, "dishonestly... edited... because... these... arguments... would not... hold... up... in... an... honest... [intellectual]... debate." He likes dogs just like Hitler and drinks water like Stalin. Ami currently works for Prager University, which- in keeping with the nature of his work as a filmmaker- is not a university at all.

Though a conservative, in 2019 Horowitz ran ironically for president as a Democrat. It served as an enlightening social commentary when Stephen Colbert ran ironically in 2007. Unlike Colbert, Horowitz's campaign was barely noticed.

After his failed candidacy, Horowitz declared, "I am... a... horrible... person... without... morals... who is... using the... right [wing]... to... cash... in... after... my.... career... as a (sic)... investment banker... collapsed."

Horowitz lives in New York, which had been the epicenter of the coronavirus-2019 outbreak in the United States. Over 32,000 people have died because of the virus in the city and Horowitz resides there.  🤔