Fellow citizens, I know you're upset. You say you are fed up with my tyrannical rule. You call me a dictator. You say I come up with arbitrary decrees and unilaterally force them upon the populace without regard to consequences. I can hear you, my people.
What you have failed to understand is that words hurt. Didn't your mothers ever tell you, if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all? If you keep saying not-nice things, maybe I will have to start teaching your mothers about manners.
Protests rage in Liberation Quadrilateral (that's what I get for hiring a cheap construction company). You may not see it, but I do; you are simply acting like rebellious teenagers. Though you might say otherwise, you love me as the benevolent decision-maker that I am. While I am a forgiving man, sometimes your children, even though you love them so much, need to be beaten by hired thugs on horses to get the picture. I understand and accept this.
Today's decrees
Those hired thugs on horses are simply shows of spontaneous support for my regime. I thank them in advance. And I ask for peace and unity.
My The Tiny Teal Book will be 20% off from now until Monday.
Everyone must clear Liberation Quadrilateral within 48 hours so that we can try to turn it into a Square; this is just embarrassing. Even Bahrain is making fun of us.
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