The Campaign to Get Pretty Jewish Girls to Move to Maryland

To the neo-nazis who defaced an Olney, Maryland synagogue with anti-Semitic graffiti:

Listen fuckfaces, I'm trying to convince all the pretty Jewish girls to move down to Maryland and your anti-Jewish vandalism isn't helping things. Why don't you do something more constructive, like learn to read or grow some hair. Do you know how hard it is to get pretty Jewish girls to come to Maryland in the first place? There's not a lot of good deli and not exactly a plethora of eligible Jewish bachelors in the area (though they do exist). We don't need any setbacks.