I've obtained a transcript from a secret meeting the Nats management held before last night's game. It reads in part, "I heard the owner and propreter of the HarazQuack Times will be at the game tonight. I know a great way to fuck with him. Let's sit Strasburg, start Miguel Batista, and make up some bullshit that Strasburg couldn't get loose during warm ups. If we don't, he might write something satirical about Strasburg and we can't have that."
Miguel Batista ended up pitching a Strasburg-like game. In five innings, he didn't give up a run and struck out six. On getting booed when he was introduced before the game instead of Strasburg, Miguel Batista said, "Imagine if you go there to see Miss Universe and you end up having Miss Iowa. You might get those kind of boos."
ZING! Take that Miss Iowa!!