Ask Ted

Dear Ted,

I really like the guy I'm with. But I was raised as a strict Catholic and believe that masturbation is a sin. My boyfriend doesn't. I asked my brothers and each said that he has never masturbated. I'm not sure if I can be with someone who engages in a mortal sin such as masturbation. My boyfriend refuses to repent because he doesn't believe it's wrong. What should I do? Thanks.

Sincerely,
Befuddled in Baltimore


Dear Befuddled,

It sounds like your boyfriend is not willing to compromise. So this decision is totally on you. However, I must warn against bringing your brothers into this situation. It must have been an awkward conversation and there is no guarantee that they were being truthful given that they are your brothers. How do you tell your sister that you masturbate? The reality is that virtually every man has masturbated.

While it is always important to maintain ideals, this one might not be very realistic. It's possible that you're setting up yourself to end up with the first man who will lie to you about their masturbating past. If I were the guy and you broke up with me over this, I'd jerk off in an envelope and then mail it to you. Then, I'd send you a vibrator for your next birthday. And then I'd rape and murder you- after all, I am Ted Bundy.

Ted Bundy is not a licensed therapist. He is, however, a convicted serial rapist and murderer.