Last Day in Brisbane

I wasn’t feeling well again today, but we had to check out at 10am. I had trouble sleeping and could’ve used a few extra hours of relaxation.

We left our bags at the hotel and Candace took the kids around South Bank. I tried to find a spot to relax in the Modern Gallery of Art. I did see one security official talking into her earpiece as she watched me, so I left.

I found a nice spot in the Gallery of Art and read and look at my phone. At one point I sharted in my sweatpants and scurried to the toilet. Lucky the damage was reversible. Every time I felt a little gas, I waddled to the toilet.

The family met me in the gallery where the kids love to touch the forbidden art. We walked over the bridge through the Queen Street area to the Post Office food court, which underground. We had underwhelming grilled cheese sandwiches in the underground food court.

Candace and the kids searched for souvenirs while I slowly made my way back to the hotel. Reception closed at 5, so we had to get our bags before then. I waited in the hotel coughing as I had all day, feeling guilty.

We left for the train station and I put more money on my go card, which I recommend. They canceled a train to the airport, but we were so early they could’ve canceled a few more. The kids were insane on the train, which is especially bad because people don’t really talk on the train.

An older guy asked Abie what was his stuffed dingo’s name, “Is it Ernie?” I had seen a commercial for Ernie Dingo’s travel show and had to fill in Candace on the joke. I got a refund for the kids’ go cards, our first Australian cash.

In the airport, Abie and Candace went to get drinks. At some point Tal wanted to go with then and started out on her own. I told her she couldn’t wander around the huge airport looking for them. Tal tried to assure me that she was an expert on this airport that she had been to for fifteen minutes. We caused a scene, but I got her to come back.

We made it through to the gate and are waiting to board. Hopefully we can sleep on at least one of these two 14+ hour flights.

Coughs and Bagels

Tal and I went to the pool in the morning while Candace and Abie went to the grocery store.

Today we had brunch at a bagel place in the West End and thick shakes. The bagel was good, but the chocolate shake was bitter.

The kids and I got slurpees and stopped in a park. We watched a rugby practice. AFL is supposed to be bigger than rugby here, but the so called battle of Brisbane between the Broncos and Dolphins boated twice as many fans as the AFL game we went to on Friday night. Both began at the same time.

Then the kids played on a playground. I watched some kids playing basketball behind them and resisted the urge to teach them how to shoot. They all shot two-handed.

We made it back to the hotel. Tal and I developed bad coughs and I kept feeling nauseous. We all chilled out for a few hours and then watched Australia’s Married at First Sight. Duncan did the right thing declining to continue with the American woman.

We went for a nighttime walk along the river. I was feeling bad, but otherwise it was a nice walk. We leave tomorrow.

Koalas and Kangaroos

 Melbourne cut the AFL game against Brisbane to 11 before it ended. A woman sitting next to Tal preemptively apologized for swearing during the game, which she did plenty.

I woke up not feeling well, occasionally retching. We took a cruise to Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary via the Miramar II. The only thing I like less than seeing animals is taking an hour and 15 minute boat ride to see them and the only thing worse than that is doing it in the heat with the sun pounding me. The boat ride was rough for me and I was drenched in sweat. I think I’ve been suffering from heat exhaustion and the boat ride didn’t help.

When we arrived, there were many steep steps up a mountain. An employee from the cruise helped me carry the scooter up, but with three steps left, and had to stop, move to the side, and began dry heaving uncontrollably. The employee helped so much and carried it the last three steps. Candace walked up the mountain pretty incredibly.

At the sanctuary we learned the kids couldn’t hold koalas because they were too small. Candace and I held one and the kids petted it. It’s name was Naughty, and it playfully nuzzled my beard.

Then the kids fed kangaroos and we petted them. During the raptor show I began feeling very bad and searched for shade. It began to rain and that helped to cool me off, but I still felt like retching.

It started to pour and a different cruise employee helped us bring the scooter down the stairs. The staff really was amazing. I sat up to uncovered even though it was drizzling. It helped to cool me off and it was nice and windy up there. It helped that it was cloudy.

We passed by Clive Palmer’s gold house on the banks of the Brisbane River. He’s basically the Australian Trump except he made his money. The captain was not a fan of the far right Palmer.

After the cruise I felt really bad and made my way to the hotel. Candace and the kids went to a playground and the science expo. I retched some more, but became hungry. I was able to eat a few bites of dinner and drink some cold bubble tea which is further evidence that I’ve been suffering from heat exhaustion.

I watched the election for New South Wales in which Labour and Chris Minns recaptured power in the state after the Liberal-National coalition held control for 12 years. The big issue in Australia is the Voice vote, which would create an advisory board to help parliament with Aboriginal issues.

The white folks’ treatment of Aboriginal seems to be paternalistic and one of tokenism. Maybe I’m misreading it, but that’s my impression. The other thing I’ve noticed is that mustaches and grungy mullets are popular here. I get it, this is the south, but c’mon mate.

An AFL Game and an Upset Stomach

I felt sick most of the day with nausea. The kids and I took the train to Roma Street to see the pretty park, but I felt bad and we had to go back. It was very hot anyway.

I tried to rest, but I got an SOS from Candace. Her scooter had lost charge at a restaurant . I walked a mile to get her leaving the kids in the room. The restaurant charged her scooter and she was fine the rest of the day.

I had tickets for me and the kids to see an Australian Football League game, but I thought I wouldn’t be able to go. I felt better momentarily and we decided to go.

We walked a mile and a half and were lucky to find three seats together as we had general admission tickets. The kids were excited at first, but quickly became thirsty. We were going to stay long, but I didn’t want to give up our seats we were so lucky to find.

Brisbane was beating the hell out of Melbourne when we left. I got the kids some water, fries, and ice cream and we left.

Tal decided to walk 20 feet behind we on the way back no matter what I did. I was worried about it, but we finally and painfully made it back to the hotel.

Brisbane had a 30 point lead when we left and had upped it to 40 by the time we made it back to the hotel. The power then went out in the stadium and Melbourne had cut the lead to 12 with 2 minutes to go as I type this.

All Around on the Ferry

 In the morning, Candace went to her conference. I was stuck on the toilet and the toilet paper ran out. I asked the kids if they would go down to reception and get some more. They were a bit hesitant but we so proud when they came back with the toilet paper. Abie said the receptionist asked, “Where’s mommy?” He said “In the room.” He told me it might be a problem if he said at work. I thought that was clever.

We walked a long way to the botanical gardens. First we got slurpees and sat by Queen Victoria’s statue. Then we found Brisbane Synagogue. Apparently it was appointment only. It wasn’t emotionally easy to explain why there was so much security around the synagogue.

Interestingly, some states here have recently banned swastikas and are in the process of banning the Nazi salute.

We made it the the gardens, but we were tired. The vegetation was striking and we saw plenty of lizards. We found a shady bench and sat there until we had to go to the bathroom. Then we found another shady spot and relaxed until we got hungry.

We were going to take the ferry to Kangaroo Point, but the kids became too hungry. We walked back to Queen Street and had cheesesteaks.

We decided to go back to the hotel, but had a long sidetrack searching for a bathroom in the mall. Then we rested in the hotel. My feet were hurting.

We then went out and took the ferry. I didn’t realize what the stops were and we missed our chance to get off. So we were on for over an hour. We got groceries and went back to the hotel for the night.

Museums and Queen Street

 Candace’s conference started today, so I spent the day with the kids. We went to the Queensland Museum and the kids enjoyed seeing the dead animals. We then saw the Art Gallery. The kids kept touching the art even though I repeatedly told them not to. Some pieces caught their attention, mostly the type of art that two six year olds make themselves.

They were hungry to we walked over the bridge and ate at Hungry Jacks. We took our time and then went to the Queen Street mall to buy books. I got a book about the Brisbane River, which flooded in 1974 and 2011.

We went back to the hotel and rested. We then went to the Modern Art Gallery. The kids said they liked it better than the other art gallery. We stopped back in the first gallery so I could take a picture of a Segar Passi painting I liked. We saw the Brisbane sign and I took pictures of the kids by the sign. Then the played on the playground in South Bank.

We met Candace for dinner. She was a little late, but we had to wait. We at at Julius, an Italian restaurant. I didn’t think I’d find anything to eat there, but it turned out to be delicious.

Hungry Jack’s didn’t have Abie’s strawberry ice cream, so we got it from a gelato place and then went back to the hotel. I had walked 8.8 miles today and the kids held up well.

Fake Beach, Real Sunburn

We started the day on the Wheel of Brisbane. I am very afraid of heights and I get motion sickness, so the five whirls around on the ferris wheel was a slice of hell for me. The kids and Candace enjoyed it.

Brisbane has a fake beach situated in between a pool and a splash pad. We had fun but I could feel the sun beating down on my sunscreen slathered shoulders. I tried to hide in the shade, but it didn’t always work. The kids had fun and seemed not to get burned.

We went to Momo’s in South Bank for lunch. The kitchen  screwed up our order and the waiter came out and asked if it was ok if we just took the screwed up order. What could we say? They had put the wrong sauce on half the fried chicken order. We were made to feel like karens if we complained, so we just accepted it. The soy garlic, which we didn’t order wasn’t good. The kids had mozzarella sticks covered in some sweet powder. They thought it was too sweet and didn’t eat much.

An Australian white ibis jumped on our table and stole a chicken bone. It went back to the ground and expertly nipped the meat off the bone, which is borderline cannibalistic. We realized Tal had lost her shoe, so I went hunting for it. I found it quite far away sitting on a bench.

Tal had been up since 2:30 in the morning and Abie didn’t get much sleep so they both were grumpy. We went to the splash pad before heading back to the hotel where we all fell asleep at 4:30 in the afternoon. We woke up at 8 and the kids fell asleep a couple hours later.

South Bank is a little touristy, but the fact that the water stuff is all free is pretty amazing. There’s a flower covered path which is very pretty. It’s supposed to rain in the morning and the kids will probably wake up early.

In Brissie

 I woke up again with bad cramps in my calfs. The kids woke us up at 7am. Candace slept so I took the kids for a walk. We didn’t have wifi, our phones were dead, and our converter was apparently the wrong one. So we had no idea where we were going.

We walked on the go between bridge and along the Brisbane River. I taught them about displacement when we saw boats racing down the river and the waves crashed onto the rocks. Tal began complaining about the heat and whined on the back end of the walk.

Candace took the kids to find converters and get the wifi from reception. I watched a documentary on the 1953 Iranian coup and one about the history of black people in Vancouver.

They came back and we found a Japanese restaurant in the West End. A guy riding a scooter nearly ran me over and then gave me a dirty look. I stayed calm. We got slurpees from 7-Eleven after the restaurant. Then Tal whined on the way back to the hotel. She went to sleep pretty quickly. A couple of hours later, I took Abie to the pool, a narrow strip that’s a bit over 3 feet deep.

We went back to the room and I woke up Tal to take her to the pool. Well, she had a meltdown. Candace tricked her  into going back to sleep and a few hours later she’s still asleep. Her whining must’ve been because she has been so tired. Hopefully she sleeps a lot and wakes up in a good mood.

I took Abie to the state library. He enjoyed it but wished we had found the kids book. He directed me to the grocery store and we bought some food. Then we went back to the hotel. He ate some and put himself to sleep.

DC to Brisbane

 We left our house at about 4pm on Friday DC time. Tal decided early on that she wouldn't walk or carry her bags, so that slowed us down. She demanded to ride on Candace's scooter. We transferred from the red line to the new silver line and by the end, Tal and I felt close to throwing up.

After an hour and a half on the metro, we made it to Dulles. The scooter always seems to be a concern for airline staff, but otherwise things went smoothly. Security also spent extra time with the scooter, but things were still going smoothly. Then it came time to board our Qatar Airways flight and Candace was nowhere to be found. Finally, she emerged from the bathroom and we got on. I sat in a row of three with Abie and Tal and Candace sat in front.

The flight to Doha was about 12 and a half hours. The food was hardly edible and I nearly threw up at the end. I spent some of the flight with bad stomach pain and a case of the poops. I slept for a couple of hours and watched King Richard, Blackkklansman, and Black Panther.

Candace didn't have her scooter in the Doha airport, which displayed a building-sized teddy bear. The airport is more like a mall and the kids were hungry. I walked with them to find food, but we kept seeing upscale stores, so we turned back. Tal was tired and hungry and began to whine. She wanted me to walk at an asymptotic rate. No matter my speed it never reached her demands, so she became angry and started to punch me in the kidneys and push me to the delight of people walking by.

I dropped the kids off with Candace at the gate and went in search for food. I finally found it, waited forever and brought it back to the gate exhausted. The kids barely ate. I didn't have time to check my fantasy basketball team which would lose in the first round of the playoffs by one rebound!

In Doha, security really doesn't want you to bring water on the plane, but they don't search bags to find it. We went threw two different security checks from one plane to another and finally got on the plane to Brisbane. This time we all sat together. The fight was 14 hours from terminal to terminal. I watched Creed and Creed II and some episodes of Hard Knocks with the Detroit Lions. Abie and Tal mostly played games. I kept wanting them to use the controller but they preferred to use the touch screen to the dismay of the people sitting in front of them. Abie slept a few minutes before we landed. The kids had issues with peeing and pooping in their pants. The food was once again terrible and I nearly threw up at the end again.

When we got off the plane, Tal had to poop and she took forever. For some reason people using a wheelchair all had to stick together and an elderly man became frustrated with the wait. The attendant told him, "You ordered a wheelchair so you have to wait. If you don't want to wait, go ahead," which of course he couldn't do.

Now it was time to clear customs. Australia wants you to declare food that you bring in. Not in the half hearted way every other place I've ever been wants. They demand it or you're in big trouble. After a video campaign, you pass by several officials asking if you have food and then you stand in line like a criminal as a dog sniffs you and your belongings to see if you have food. I said I didn't have food, but I had some stuff for when we got to the hotel, so I became increasingly nervous that I would soon find myself in an Australian gulag, but the dog couldn't sniff past the packaging and the pee and poop filled pants to detect the food.

Then we got the scooter back. In DC, the airline handled the battery very bizarrely. First they wanted us to have it with us on the plane. Then they took it off and told Candace it would be checked. I didn't hear it so I was worried they'd lose the scooter battery. Fortunately things worked out and we took the air train to South Brisbane. We got into the hotel exhausted. We ate some of the snacks I had smuggled into the country and enjoyed our contraband. I fell asleep pretty quickly but woke up a few hours later with a terrible cramp in my right calf.