My fellow citizens, my hot Tajik nurse Delruba made a great suggestion recently as she was rubbing her bare breasts against my face. She always seems to have the best ideas when that happens. I wonder what that's about.
Delruba loves animals so I decree that every citizen must take part in a new government program. This project will be called Los Animales de los Diez Milliones because our goal is to help ten million animals.
Every citizen must take off from work one week every month to care for animals. Each citizen must roam the city streets and the countryside in search of cats to pet, dogs to play fetch with, hamsters to feed those little pellets to, cows to milk, monkeys to mock, pigs to clean, snakes to avoid, and minks to not make fur coats out of.
Once we've helped 10 million animals, Delruba has assured me that our nation's economy will be strong and we will be able to invade and defeat her native Tajikistan, the nation that harbors the most notorious terrorist, Taylor Jonathan Thomas.