My fellow citizens, I have been informed by my Washington-based PR firm, Weinberger & Brack, that I do not in fact eat people because they're delicious. In fact, I've been told that I don't eat people at all. So there you go.
Also, remember to buy my The Tiny Teal Book available at Amazon.com for $12.95. You can also get it for less from eBay, but it's a felony to sell The Tiny Teal Book or buy it for less than full price, so maybe you shouldn't do that.
Quotations from The Tiny Teal Book
"Ask not what your country can do for you you selfish motherfucker."
"The greatest gift you can give your nation is a bunch of hot daughters."
"Work will set you free. A lot of work. Like a lifetime's worth."
"Don't bite the hand that feeds you... unless it's delicious."
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