The Tiny Teal Book

My fellow citizens, I know you are familiar with my many insightful decrees. I bet you've been wondering, 'I wish I could have the Dear and Fearless Leader's infinite wisdom in colorful little book form.'

Well fair subjects, here it is. My The Tiny Teal Book. It's available at Amazon.com for $12.95. Possession of The Tiny Teal Book is mandatory at all times.

Quotations from The Tiny Teal Book
"Since all good things come to an end, don't even start."

"It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty; if you drink it all, the glass will be completely empty."

"'It's six of one, half a dozen of the other' is not a pithy line. I don't like it."

"If you torture someone in a secret prison in Eastern Europe, do they make a sound?"

"If it takes one to know one, do you know one?"

"Do you know where you're going to? You're going to jail if you don't buy my book!"