I had just made potentially the wittiest insult the world had ever experienced. It was one of those comebacks that show the divine power of words. A gun shot wouldn't have done as much damage.
"I'm going to kick your ass," whined my victim, "And that's not a threat!"
"But it is a threat," I retorted with a look of feigned confusion.
"It's not a threat; I'm really going to kick your ass."
"Regardless, you're still threatening me."
"No. I'm saying I'm not threatening you. I'm going to kick your ass."
"You might want to look up the word "threaten" in a dictionary."
"What do you mean?"
"Whether you intend to kick my ass or not, you're still threatening me. The act of threatening someone does not depend on whether or not you carry out that threat."
"Well then, I'm threatening you and I'm going kick your ass."
"There you go. That makes more sense."
And then it occurred to me. Before engaging in a physical confrontation, of course two Jews would first argue over semantics about what constitutes a threat.
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