A Question of Fairness

We greeted this administration, when it took over earlier this year, with great optimism. We were promised that the social order would become fairer. We assumed that hostilities with foreign nations would be avoided. Instead, we have been discouraged.

We can excuse some our Dear and Fearless Leader's more eccentric decrees. Of course mandating that every fourth child be named after the Great Protector of the Populace, is quite self-indulgent. But power's influence on one's ego spreads like that of untreated cancer. Simply put, certain whimsical decrees can be expected from a new leader.

However, there are limits to the level of self-absorption that a populace should be required to take. Burning vegetables and banning Jeff Goldblum are endeavors that will always be recounted by future historians when describing the regime of His Excellency, Pope Delicious I. But they don't really hurt anyone. They are bizarre attempts by this leadership to gain legitimacy and to distinguish itself from (the failures of) previous leaders.

Recently, the Grand Promoter of Happiness has crossed the line, however. In an attempt to explain away his early failures, the so-called Savior of the People has concocted a tense situation with the people of Tajikistan. He has done so, according to his statements, for the sake of national pride. Let there be no doubt that the real reason for this new crisis is to create a diversion from some of our leader's less desirable policies. Take, for example, his last two decrees. In his first, the leader states that our nation will not allow itself to be the victim of Tajikstan's insults. That is consistent with the official line. Now let's look at the second decree; the one claiming that Tajiks smell like rotten pieces of fruit. This is meant solely for the purpose of exacerbating the strain between our great land and Tajikistan in order to perpetuate the distraction.

I ask the leadership of our beautiful and wonderful country to refrain from creating a foreign policy based on self-fulfilling prophecies and to allow the population the right to criticize it in the name of democracy. In the name of Fairness.

John Wallibee reporting