Apparently my beloved citizens have taken a bit of umbrage at some of my decrees. Women, people who live in rainy areas, and Jeff Goldblum are outraged. So, I'm doing what any good leader in that situation would do- creating diversions and scapegoats.
Today's decrees
This is a nation founded on knowledge. We will never partake in the heinous act of book burning. However, I really hate vegetables, so on March 17, 2009 every citizen in our nation will take their vegetables to their local Vegetable Burning Center (VBC) to participate in the National Day of Burning Vegetables (NDBV).
Chocolate and Slurpees are hereby decreed to be delicious. And now, they are healthy.
All homophobes will be forced to gay marry. Every citizen will have to take a test to gage their level of tolerance towards homosexuals. If a citizen fails the test, they must, under law, gay marry or face a penalty of death by lethal anal rape.
Freedom Act of 2009: Freedom of speech will be guaranteed to all citizens... unless they say something I don't like.
No comments:
Post a Comment