Lesson Learned

Lyle had a passion for teaching children. He loved to joke with them, which the kids appreciated. His unique method of teaching seemed to inspire the children. They not only learned the material, they also came out of their shells and showed their true personalities. Sometimes, Lyle wished he could put some of the kids back in their shells.

After a few months, Lyle thought to himself, "This is really a great job. I'm able to teach the way I want to and I can see that I'm helping the students."

The next day, Lyle's boss called him into the office. "Your method of teaching works with the little kids. But it doesn't work with the older kids. I'd say about a quarter of your students are not learning. If things don't improve, we'll have to take action."

Lyle wondered how that could be. Later, he realized that it wasn't true. He knew he had helped these kids. What evidence was his boss basing these allegations on? Lyle could see the improvement from week to week. And how could being genuine and giving positive reinforcement work with 8 and 9 year olds, but not 10 and 11 year olds? It didn't make sense. Lyle felt a little better.

A week later, Lyle's boss walked into the room where he was teaching. Lyle's students were giggling. Lyle's boss declared, "This is work. You're not supposed to have fun. You're supposed to learn." Lyle wondered, can't it be both? Lyle was down.

The next day, Lyle saw two strangers being interviewed by his boss. Trying to focus on helping his students, Lyle's mind couldn't help but wander. "Couldn't they have waited for me to leave before they interviewed for my replacement? And why would they only give me a week to improve? I didn't even get a chance to talk about it." Lyle hit rock bottom.

Lyle felt nauseous. He decided to take action. He couldn't live this way. Lyle wrote a note to his boss, clearly explaining the areas he felt he could improve and then mentioned the areas where he felt he had succeeded. Afterward, he thanked his boss for granting him the opportunity to work at such a wonderful place. Lyle then walked into his boss’s office. He said hello to his boss. "What do you have there?" his boss asked. Lyle grabbed a stapler, neatly organized the papers containing his note, and stapled them to his boss’s forehead. His boss fell down screaming in pain. Then, Lyle, he whipped his dick out and pissed his name in cursive on his boss's shirt. Next, he pulled down his pants and took a messy Taco Bell-induced diarrhea shit all over his boss's face.

As Lyle walked out the room, he gave his stunned students one last lesson. "If someone gives you shit, give it right back."