I hate small talk. I hate talking to people I don't know. But what I hate most is making small talk with people I don't know. Here are my thoughts during a particular encounter with a large friendly middle-aged barber.
"As nice as it is today, I heard it might snow tomorrow."
(FUCK! I paid for a haircut, not a damn chit chat party.)
"Did you watch the Super Bowl?"
(The Super Bowl? That was like three weeks ago! "Hey'd you see the moon landing?")
"What line of work are you in?"
(I wonder if he think it'd be funny if I asked him the same thing.)
"Did you have off for President's Day?"
(This guy doesn't take a hint, does he? How many one-word answers does he need?)
"Mmm, look at that!"
"She's cute."
"Is that short enough or should I take more off the front?"
(Dammit! Enough with the questions already.)
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