Lincoln was Obamaesk

In many ways Abraham Lincoln was a lot like President-elect Barack Obama. For starters, Lincoln served a short tenure in Washington as a representative of Illinois before becoming president. But the similarities don't stop there.

As is the case with Obama, Lincoln was known for his great speeches. However, much like Obama, his speeches were criticized during his time. Bill Kristol every once in a while says about an Obama speech, "That one just didn't do it for me," even though it was really great and he knows it. Manton Marble, the Bill Kristol of Lincoln's era, commented on the Gettysburg Address, "The President awkwardly rose and in his customary high-pitched nasally voice, orated few words as if he had recently completed jerking off with Icy-Hot."

In one way Lincoln was not like Obama. He never had to put up with patronizing remarks such as, "He's so articulate." Instead, Lincoln was fortunate enough to receive unambiguous criticism such as, "We should not trust this nation to a backwoods slow-witted lawyer, who is barely civil enough to dine with even the most boorish prostitutes." But there are still numerous parallels. As Obama has been called a secret Muslim because of his name, Lincoln was called a secret Jew because of his. Lincoln, in classic Obama form, took over a country in dramatic turmoil. He also had a hot wife.

The links sometimes take on an eerie persona. Lincoln and Obama were elected at roughly the same age, give or take five years. Taken together, their first and last names both have five syllables. Lincoln had a secretary named Obama and Obama will have a secretary named Lincoln. As Obama will do, Lincoln hired a "team of rivals" to his cabinet.

While Lincoln followed Obama before the fact in almost every way, he failed to in only one. Lincoln was shot, whereas Obama will live a long and increasingly hemorrhoid-laden life.