Jewish Preamble to the US Constitution

We the Jewish people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union in a Christian land, establish justice to those who don’t worship Jesus, insure domestic tranquility with the gentiles so they don’t spray paint swastikas on our houses, provide for the common defense from incessant Christmas-themed television programming, promote our general Jewiness, and secure the gift of sarcasm to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. “Establish” twice in the same paragraph is less than stellar writing, Moshe.