The Great Admiral of China's 15th century naval fleet, Zheng He, and Rabbi David Kaye of Dateline's "To Catch A Predator" fame discuss President Bush's State of the Union address.
Zheng He: Rabbi, did you watch the State of the Union Address?
Rabbi Kaye: Uh, yeah. I did. Um, tell me what you thought of it.
Zheng He: Well, I felt it was an ideologically conservative speech covered in bipartisan rhetoric. Essentially, he is calling for smaller government, which will continue to leave the poor stranded. What did you think of it Rabbi?
Rabbi Kaye: Hmm, it was good.
Zheng He: Did you actually watch the speech Rabbi?
Rabbi Kaye: Sure, I had it on in the background while I was chatting on the internet. But that part about Iraq, man, that was something, wasn't it?
Zheng He: Bush continued to base his Iraq policy on fear. I'm tired of the fear-mongering. The troops need to come home. They only incite violence in Iraq. And the war in Iraq won't help us catch Osama bin Laden.
Rabbi Kaye: What? Oh. Interesting.
Zheng He: Rabbi, you seemed distracted.
Rabbi Kaye: Oh, it's nothing. I was just chatting with this 14 year old boy online. He sent me a picture of himself nude. It's really hard to concentrate when I have such a hard schmekel.
Zheng He: So you didn't watch the speech.
Rabbi Kaye: Fine, you caught me. I was yanking it to teenage boys. What can I say, their supple bodies just turn me on. There's something about a newly Bar Mitzvahed boy that makes me want to white out my Torah, if you know what I mean. I jerk off to young boys, that's what I'm saying. I want to have sex with them.
Zheng He: So you did watch the speech, No Child Left Behind, sending more troops to Iraq, it was about fucking children!
(As an aside, Dikembe Mutumbo is on my fantasy basketball team. My fantasy team is the only one in our league with a presidential guest to the State of the Union address. Suck on that rest of Shabbatai Zvi was a Schmuck League.)
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