I watched MTV's Sweet Sixteen Party or whatever it's called. Man, that show is soul crushing. What is wrong with the young people today?
What bothers me is these kids ordering around their elders. In my day we respected people older than us. However, the excessive materialism doesn't bother me. I buy things to cover up the profound emptiness inside me. In fact, a couple of months ago I bought at CD on sale, which has held me over since. A few months before I also bought a t-shirt in Bulgaria, which was like a band aid for my leaking heart.
But things are just not going well for me, left and right. My video game football team didn't make the playoffs after 8 consecutive years and 4 Super Bowl victories. We had a winning record, but Super Bowls are expected of us. So I'm at a crossroads. I have 8 players from the original team 9 years ago (it was a fantasy draft) and a few more who joined the team the next year. They're getting old, but I just don't have the heart to let them go. Do I trade them for younger talent or be true to my guys? We've been through a lot of tough battles. Decisions decisions. Keep in mind this is like NFL Pro 2002, so I didn't just play 9 seasons this months or something.
And things just keep getting worse. Designing Women is now part of Nick at Nite's regular rotation. I don't care for that show. It should be Cosby Show, Fresh Prince, Different World, and Welcome Back Kotter. Also, they used to have Perfect Strangers and Head of the Class at the 3am hour, that was good stuff.
Even family life has deteriorated. My mother and my brother can occasionally be slightly bothersome. My friends are intelligent and fun to hang out with or talk to, but most of them are taller than me. My self-esteem doesn't need that. Especially since, I'm getting so fat. I've blown past 120 lbs. I'm too scared to look at a scale, but I'm guessing I've ballooned up to 122lbs. And school is killing me. I mean a tough and fulfilling academic session designed to make me more knowledgeable, who needs that?
My life is a living hell.
6 comments:
You should dump the old guys and go with younger, cheaper players. It's tough, but it's what all well run franchise's have to do.
You have several options at this point. The most viable and proven to be successful is donating all your worldly possessions to me, and then living on a pile of paving gravel somewhere.
Is gonorrhea a worldly possession?
The young guys want even more money! Some of guys retired and I bench some of the others, so good news, the imaginary Buffalo Bills are back on track!
No, THAT is an affliction. Notice I made no mention of passing your afflictions onto anyone at all, especially not I.
Alright, I'll keep it to myself then. And I'm guessing diarrhea is an affliction too, but if you want that one, just give me a holla.
Oh, I will, don't worry. But I wouldn't advise waiting around for my call. Just, y'know, a word to the wise.
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