Out of the horrors of the Holocaust, two generations later, I have a wonderful life. This doesn't make the Holocaust itself good, but good can come from tragedy. Perhaps it is the hopeless optimist in me, who wished that out of tragedy of September 11, 2001, this world would have become a better place. I'm reminded of the words of Martin Luther King, "Only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars." But five years after the attacks on September 11th, the legacy of that day is seemingly never-ending violence.

The victims' families' pain has been public and even political. America is not a society that deals well with others' grief. The impetus to "get on with you life" is great. "Get over it." We are implicitly told that five years is enough time to grieve and move on passed the loss of a loved one, but not enough to move passed an attack on our homeland.

It is understandable that people- who, frankly, are not connected to the attacks on September 11th- will grieve for people of the same imagined community. They will go through the standard steps of grief. But let there be no doubt that your grief is less important than those who lost loved ones on that fateful day. You have a right to be sad, to be angry, to feel guilty, and to experience all of the emotions that are accompanied with loss, but these attacks did not take away your kid, your dad, your mom, or any other loved one. We Americans are selfish grievers, but your grief needs to take a backseat to those who have actually lost.

There is a unique wisdom that tragedy provides. Some choose to explore that wisdom, some choose to ignore it. But this country has failed to listen to the people who were directly affected by the attacks on September 11, 2001. Instead, we listen to politicians and pundits, who interpret the pain of others. They did not experience any tangible loss and they have no right to claim that date as their own, for their own causes.

Over the last five years, there has been plenty of murder, with vengeance as justification. We must stop the cycle of violence; it is America's responsibility.