Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Crazy TV Pastor Shocks Me, Others

Crazy Pastor John Hagee of TBN fame is as his title suggests, a crazy pastor. Upon watching his sermon earlier in the day, I was quite surprised by one particular paragraph that spewed from his fat face. No, this time he hadn't preached against the pro-abortion lobby, made fun of gay people, or called all Arab men 'terrorists' (well ok, he did, but that didn't surprise me). Instead, what shocked both my brother and I was a different sort of statement.

Crazy Pastor Hagee said that the reference to Libya and Ethiopia in the bible was actually referencing the Arabian peninsula. Ok, whatever. Then he continued preaching about Moses. Talking about Moses, he stated that the geographic area referred to in the book of Ezekiel was "an Arab coalition, an Islamic coalition."

Wait a second! If Ezekiel wrote about an "Islamic coalition" during the time of Moses, he would have been wrong by thousands of years. Islam did not become a religion until well after Moses had departed for that Red Sea in the sky. Even worse, Ezekiel could not even have made up that tale because Islam was not around until after Ezekiel wrote his part of the bible.

The shocking part about this, as noted by my brother Ian, is that these people usually do not get their facts wrong. They usually start with faulty premises, or give unbelievably ridiculous logic, but their facts are almost always correct. A crazy pastor, especially one as gifted at being a crazy pastor as Mr. Hagee, rarely makes such a foolish mistake.

Now, he was talking about biblical prophecies, but I'm not sure that Ezekiel was prophesizing about a religion that wasn't around yet and then erroneously dating it during the period of Moses. Clearly, Crazy Pastor Hagee simply misspoke. And if Mr. Hagee misspoke about that, maybe all his talk about Jesus is a lie too, and maybe he sticks green army men in his penis hole as he watches his tapes of Queer Eye For the Straight Guy, picks his nose, and eats cow poop.

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