Don't Judge Robin Vos Harshly

Robin Vos is the Speaker of the Wisconsin Assembly and has worked tirelessly to make sure that voters were allowed to come out and cast their ballots in person yesterday during the covid-19 pandemic.

"You are incredibly safe to go out," Vos told voters in his state. "Actually, there's less exposure here than you would get if you went to the grocery store, or if you went to Walmart, or you did any of the many things we have to do to live in the state of Wisconsin," Vos declared while covered from ears to toes in protective garb.

Vos is not the heartless asshole he appears to be. Yes, he pushed to have the election on Tuesday instead of at a later date in a cynical ploy to keep a conservative majority on the state supreme court. Ironically, the majority is important because a voting rights case is coming up and Vos is counting on a conservative majority on the court to purge the rolls of "less desirable" voters.

Ok, I know, that explanation didn't help. Vos looks like a maniacal killer now. If he cared so much about voting that he would force the citizens of his state to choose between their health and their right to vote, it doesn't really make sense that he would work so hard to disenfranchise voters. And don't tell me it has something to do with voter fraud, which is an infinitesimally small problem; it's about pushing a swing state red. I forgot where I was going with this.

So maybe Vos is a horrendous human being, placing party above people. But here are some fun facts about "Cruel Boss" Vos:

Vos lets out audible flatulence and then indignantly cries out, "What's that smell?" without a hint of self-awareness.

Vos parks in two handicap spaces at once- without a permit- because, "I was only going to be a minute."

Vos purposely leaves his fly down when he has meetings with women and then blames them for "sneaking a peak."

Vos and Reince Priebus have seen each other's dick... many, many times.

Vos proudly proclaims, "Marriage is between one man and one woman!" In his case, it's between one man and three women. But who's counting? I am. One, two, three.

Vos named his fantasy football team the "Racine Racists" in 2014 to "be ironic." You're a racist from Racine, Robin; that's not how irony works.

Vos told the voters of Wisconsin that it is incredibly safe to vote while wearing full protective gear! While trying to suppress citizens' right to vote!!