Scottie Dockens, a UBF Journey Continues

I'm Scottie Dockens, and I'm a boxing champion. I hold a belt in the UBF. Last night I won my 13th fight. I knocked out Carlos the 300 pound Mexican. I knocked him out cold. He wasn't wearing padding and it wasn't a sparring session.

So-called UBF pound for pound #1 Charlie Zelenoff believes that he's the best boxer int he UBF because he spars with people and declares himself victor after about ten seconds. I actually knocked Carlos out. He was twitching on the ground like he was twerking to a Brittney Spears song. I'm 13-0 and I want to smash Charlie's face in. He's crude and flaunts the rules of the UBF. Scottie Dockens is coming for you Charlie.

Scottie Dockens, UBF Champion

I'm Scottie Dockens and I'm a UBF champion. I'm 12-0 wearing my Champion Forever socks. No one is a better boxer than I am. I'm the best boxer there ever will be. I've been knocking people out since I was in diapers. I'm coming for that number one pound for pound spot. You know who you are. I knocked out that same big Armenian heavyweight. You know what you have. I'm coming for you.

Planes vs. Buildings

Most people assume the attacks on September 11, 2001 were the most horrific example of Islamic extremism challenging Western hegemony. In reality, it was something very different. It was the opening shots of a war between planes and buildings.

September 11 was a dark day for buildings. Two of its most prestigious fell that day. A cousin also collapsed in the devastation. It would take nearly 13 years before buildings garnered their rightful vengeance. On March 8, 2014 Malaysian Airlines 370 disappeared. No one knows what happened. No one except the ragtag band of buildings that finally suckled at the teat of sweet revenge. On December 28, Indonesia AirAsia Flight 8501 fell when another group of buildings swatted it down.

It is my hope that the cycle of violence will cease. Countless deaths have been the result of this senseless war. It's time to find a way to live a peaceful coexistence whether we be building or whether we be plane. Only then can all inanimate objects live in happiness, free from fear. This is not merely a dream; it's a vision. A vision I believe we can achieve.

Another Historic Mistake by the Chicago Daily Tribune

CORRECTION: Yesterday, the Tribune ran the erroneous headline McGOVERN DEFEATS NIXON. As the votes continued to be counted late into the night, it became evident to the Tribune political staff that, in fact, Nixon would be reelected.

Alaska's four electoral votes and Hawaii's three were called for Nixon early Wednesday morning giving the President a close 520-17 electoral victory over Senator McGovern. The wins in Alaska and Hawaii helped Nixon grab 60.7% of the popular vote to McGovern's 37.5%. Nixon edged McGovern with 49 states to the Senator's one. Oh yeah, and DC; McGovern also won DC.

The Tribune apologizes for its error.

NFL Playoff Predictions

AFC Wild Card
6 Bal over 3 Pit 24-14
4 Ind over 5 Cin 21-9

NFC Wild Card
3 Dal over 6 Det 17-10
5 Ari over 4 Car 14-6

AFC Division
1 NE over 6 Bal 35-10
2 Den over 4 Ind 27-14

NFC Division
1 Sea over 5 Ari 21-0
3 Dal over 2 GB 38-35

AFC Championship
NE over Den 26-21

NFC Championship
Dal over Sea 14-12

Super Bowl XL
NE over Dal 41-24

College Football Playoff Prection

Oregon over Florida State
Alabama over Ohio State

Oregon over Alabama