I went to the gym at the Moscow airport ready to ride the stationary bike. A former Dear and Fearless Leader must stay in shape. Plus, there isn't much else to do here. A man can only buy so many over-sized candy bars at the duty free shop.
When I went to the gym, there was an old man in a tracksuit on the only bike in the whole gym. But he wasn't using it, he was just sitting on it mesmerized by whatever was on television, I think it was the George Zimmerman trial. His left foot was not in the pedal strap and he pedaled maybe once a minute.
I was infuriated. If this had happened in my country, I would have done something about, it, but one thing I've learned while stuck in this airport is to not mess with an old Russian man in a tracksuit. So, I stood in the corner (for like 25 minutes!) letting out an occasional sigh while this fat inbred asshole occupied the bike! It's not like there weren't other televisions in the gym.
I read an article on the internet recently about my country. It seems my brother has turned the place into a living hell. It doesn't surprise me. Whenever we would play any sport or game as kids, he always needed to win or he'd throw a fit. The problem for him was that I'm older and I was better at everything than he was. So, there were a lot of fits.
Beyond my brother, I'm filled with concern for my country. I admit, I made some mistakes while in power. But my heart was always in the right place, which is more than I can say for some of my political opponents after they were tortured. I feel like I have to do something. But what can I do? I'm trapped in an airport that smells like musty beets, vodka, and piss. Bye for now!!!!!!
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