The Penn State Scandal

People should have known that Jerry Sandusky was a pedophile. He was a defensive end at Penn State in the mid 1960s. Because of his aggressive pursuit of the quarterback, his nickname was the "Gamblin' Nambla."

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Assistant coach Mike McQueary: Coach Paterno! Coach Paterno! I just saw Jerry having sex with little boys in the shower!

Paterno: Oh shoot, it's Thursday already? I've got a million things to do.

McQueary: Wait, you know about this?

Paterno: Sure. Every Thursday Jerry brings kids from his charity to our locker room, shows around, has sex with them.

McQueary: Shouldn't we tell someone?

Paterno: Yeah, I told the AD.

McQueary: And?

Paterno: He told the school's president.

McQueary: And?

Paterno: And he told Adolph Eichmann. Listen, I don't know what happened. What do you want from me? I did my legally required duty.

McQueary: Fair enough. I don't think anyone can blame us for this.

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"You know Sue, when we started this job here at Penn State 50 years ago, I never could have dreamed that googling 'Joe Paterno' and 'child sex' would get you 55,000 hits."

"That's true Joe. And I bet those forty 10 year olds never could have dreamed they'd be anally raped and no one would say anything."

"Shut up, bitch."

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The child sex abuse scandal has hit the public. Jerry Sandusky's reputation has been shattered. He's all alone sitting on the toilet thinking, "Who knew one little mistake, one little mistake of habitually raping little boys over a span of more than a decade could result in such a backlash. It's so unfair."