My fellow citizens, I see you protesting out in the streets. Before you act rashly, please hear me out. The Tunisian people gave Zine El Abidine Ben Ali 23 years in office. It's taken 30 years for the Egyptians to say enough is enough to Hosni Mubarak. I've barely had a fraction of that time in power. I mean, c'mon. Even Obama's been in office longer than I have. Just give me a chance to deserve your ire before you throw me out.
Now that that's settled, it's time for some more quotations from my The Tiny Teal Book ($12.95 at Amazon.com and WalMart). Remember, The Tiny Teal Book has made all other forms of knowledge and wisdom obsolete.
Quotations from The Tiny Teal Book
"What are snowmen but white supremacists with warmer hearts."
"When I was in college in the United States, I used to dress up like the American Uncle Sam, point at women, and scream 'I want you!' It never worked. So I became a dictator. Now I have women falling at my feet whether they want to or not."
"That's why I say it's the ballot or the bullet. If you don't vote for me on the ballot, well, you know the rest."
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