The brainchild of the pedophilic rabbi from Dateline a few years ago. Whatever happened to our humble festival of lights to counterbalance the ostentatious capitalist greed of Christmas?
(Imagine a Yiddish accent) We didn't have Chanukah Wonderland when we were growing up. We only had stale chocolate. It was impossible to open and we always got chocolate under our fingernails. We called it gelt. And we loved it.
For the first time in my life, I kind of wish we were wiped out in the Holocaust.
(Imagine a mean old Jewish lady with a 50-year smoking habit) Chanukah Wonderland. We got gelt. We got latkes. We got dreidels. Chanukah Wonderland. We got dreidels on gelt. We got latkes made of gelt. We got dreidels made of latkes. Chunakah Wonderland. It's a wonderland of excitement.
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