Thursday, April 29, 2010

English in Alabama

An Alabama gubernatorial candidate, Tim James (and no, not the basketball player from the U of Miami who briefly played in the NBA about 10 years ago), said in a commercial that "This is Alabama, we speak English. If you want to live here, learn it."

Number 1. I don't know what they speak in Alabama, but it ain't English. I could barely understand this guy.

Number 2. I actually like Tim James's proposal. Non-English speakers will leave Alabama, inevitably crumbling their economy. Well, more so. Hopefully they move to the DC area; you can never get enough diversity (but don't move to northern Virginia, there's racists and guns down there). With the Alabamian economy crushed (well, more so) the remaining best and brightest (all 8 of them) will flee (again, hopefully to the DC area).

Then you'll have your desired barren conservative paradise, where nothing relating to the government will be present in your lives, especially the currency.

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