Sunday, December 20, 2009

Weirdest Cult of the Decade

From killing each other at WalMart the day after Thanksgiving in order to save a few dollars on a toaster to putting up the tackiest decorations a person can imagine, Christianity has won the award as the weirdest cult for the 201st consecutive decade.

The monotheist religion, whose followers somehow believe in three gods, has some strange ideas. Many believe that if the Jews inhabit the biblical land of Israel, then their god, who is also the son of god in some bizarre West Virginia shit, will return to Earth from his place up in Heaven, which is located in the sky (though no astronaut has even found it).

But the cult of Christianity goes beyond silly celebrations and ideas obviously created by some stoned little children. It has a nefarious side. Christianity is big business, exhibited by numerous mega churches and televangelists constantly asking for donations. Christianity has also been used to justify wars for two millennia and this decade was no different. It is a cult of intolerance. Many followers see others as inferior and Hell-bound, Hell being a mythical place filled with fire and found below the Earth's surface.

You can tell members of this cult by a t-shaped ornament and the sense of undeserved arrogance that they wear. When confronted by one of these cult members, it's best to avoid conversations that may require the use of logic or reason. And don't let them try to convince you to join!

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