Drunk and Horny

I like Charles Barkley. But he made a terrible mistake. He was recently pulled over on suspicion of DUI.

I believe people convicted of DUIs or DWIs should be punished. NASCAR should have a special race for them. Let's get them liquored up, stick them in a race car, and watch the deadly hilarity that will inevitably follow. Dale Earnhart and Davey Allison, eat your hearts out.

This brings me to my next point. Charles Barkley was reportedly in a hurry because he was visiting a friend for oral sex. That got me thinking: Oral sex is really the best oral anything. It's better than an oral examination or an oral thermometer. It beats an Oral-B toothbrush or oral cancer. And it's much better than oral herpes or Oral Roberts.