Are You Retarded?

There's something that no one in America wants to talk about and it's the politically correct fervor of the parents of retarded kids. You'd think these kids were under attack. You'd think there were groups of anti-retard gestapo coming for their kids. I'm not sure where this comes from. Everyone loves retarded kids. They're so cute! There isn't even a name for someone who hates retarded kids. Not racist, misogynist, homophobe, xenophobe, anti-Semite, nothing. You'd just say, "There's the asshole who hates retarded kids. Let's go kick him in the groin!"

Many people get upset if you say retarded child instead of special needs child. I don't see the difference. In either case, you're labeling these kids by their shortcomings. My mother never described me as a short ugly child. That would be mean! Even if she called me a vertically challenged child. Or a child with step-stool needs. What kind of mother would she be if she defined me by my faults? I have a friend who is facially challenged. He is an almost-attractive American. I have another friend who is athletically challenged. I used to have an ugly friend and another who sucked at sports. No more.

There's a retarded guy who goes to all the Nats games. I would often see him on the way home up the red line. That guy is awesome. Not because he's retarded and is able to overcome the odds and attend Nats games; that is totally demeaning bullshit. He's awesome because the Nats have been terrible and he still goes to every game. I'm a big Nats fan and I go to 10 games a season tops. I mean, what is he thinking? His devotion is admirable.

The effort given by parents to help their retarded children is often times heroic. But don't label your child by his or her shortcomings and don't waste your energy encouraging the spread of politically correct bullshit. Neither is good for your child.