Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Still Getting Fucked With

Jerry Falwell is still fucking me from beyond the grave, although this time it really is just an expression. A while back, he created a college to promote Christian conservative ideas. The name of the school is Liberty University. Apparently, they have a basketball team. I guess when the players are not involved in the mandatory prayer sessions, they're allowed to practice. In any event, Liberty faced off against George Mason Monday night. Well, slap my ass and call me Jesus, Liberty won by 3 in overtime.

I was wondering what new and creative ways G-d would find to fuck with me and there you go. Also, I found a bug in my ginger ale when I woke up in the morning.

I went to the grocery store and that's when everything changed. Some cum face cut me off which allowed him to enter the one way parking lot before me. Sure enough, a car was pulling out right at that moment. 'Dammit it, he cuts me off and now this guy is going to get the one spot left!' I thought.

Then, my life changed. The car in front of me veered in the other direction and parked in the handicap spot. The last spot was all mine! Is this the beginning of a new identity? Will everything go right for me from now on? Is this world not simply a lonely place where everyone tries to manipulate each other to achieve selfish gains? Oh, thank the lord for that guy's handicap!

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