It can be a cold and lonely world. I have no money, few friends, and limited prospects for things to improve. But, to quote Johnny Mathis, chances are, I'm doing better than you. That doesn't provide me with much solace, only the realization that things could be worse.
As it turns out, Jesus was right; it's better to be poor. Because I have no money, I didn't invest any of it with Bernie Madoff (incidentally, great job reinforcing the stereotype of the greedy money-stealing Jew, you stupid kike). I didn't invest my nonexistent money in the floundering stock market because 4 Hot Pockets- my most cherished possessions- will only get you several shares of Lehman Brothers and I'd rather have the Hot Pockets. Interestingly enough, no American bank will let me deposit my Hot Pockets and it's probably for the better as it appears all of them are crumbling under the weight of irresponsible loans. I'm glad I didn't ask for that loan of a Steak'umm sandwich that I was considering.
It's nice to have few friends because it means that there are fewer people earning my trust only to potentially take me for all I'm worth. Most people befriend someone only because of what the other person can do for them. You never really know what people are about, so it's better to just ignore all of them. Another good way to avoid betrayal is to have no money and limited prospects. Then you can really suspect that your friends truly like you for who you are, even if that it is just a short bitter hairy Jew with no money, few friends, and limited prospects for things to improve.
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