Monday, December 01, 2008

Bobby the Christian Terrorist

Hi. I'm Bobby. I'm a Christian. I'm also a terrorist. There have been a lot of bad things said recently about terrorists and I'm here to straighten some of them out for you. Come join me on this journey of discovering more about the wonderful world of terrorism why don'tcha.

Many people associate terrorists with Muslims and that's just wrong. We terrorists are very offended by the stereotype. The average Muslim wouldn't know how to kill innocent civilians if it was written in the Qu'ran, which it is not. Jerry Falwell once said that the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was a terrorist. Poppy cock! I am frankly shocked at the level of intolerance coming from the mouth of a fellow Christian terrorist. The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was nothing more than a messenger of Allah, which is a far cry from a terrorist.

Terrorists, such as myself, know the grand history of Christian terrorism. It began a couple thousand years ago when the first Christian sliced off the head of an unbeliever for the simple crime of not following Jesus Christ and His message of peace. We've held a virtual monopoly on all sorts of terrorism ever since. You want state-sponsored terrorism, I give you the Spanish Inquisition, or if that's not "terrorific" enough for you, how about the Holocaust? When was the last time a Muslim killed 6 million Jews? The answer you are looking for is: never. Only Christian terrorists could accomplish such a feat. We've also got terrorists who victimize the government, i.e. Tim McVeigh, ETA, the IRA, etc.

I hope this has cleared up some misconceptions about terrorists and terrorism. Terrorism is a dish best served with a side of Jesus. May you all have a wondrous and most merry Christmas.

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