Friday, May 23, 2008

The Break Up

Devastating news. It's over with Ukrainian Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko. She was furious with my writings about Cindy McCain that she construed as sexual. I tried to explain them away, but she was having none of it.

Yulia says that these writings about Cindy McCain were simply the last straw, although they were crucial in her decision to separate. She was very upset over my recent post about the WNBA. Yulia told me that the lower skill level in the league is due to our patriarchal society that discourages athletic excellence in women and deems it to be unfeminine. She contends that I should have followed the WNBA in solidarity with women's sports instead of abandoning the league in its hour of need. A fair point, I suppose.

She also agrees with Geraldine Ferraro who recently called me a sexist because I made a gesture during a speech, metaphorically dusting the dirt off of my shoulders, a la Jay-Z. Ferraro thinks I was being dismissive towards women. Tymoshenko thought it was consistent with my sexist tendencies. She agreed with Zimbabwe's authoritarian dictator Robert Mugabe's assessment of me, as "small, lazy, [and] odorous," adding, "in more places than Mugabe knows about. Specifically in the pelvic region." Although she agrees with my passion to see democracy prevail in Zimbabwe and my support for opposition leader Morgan Tsvangirai. She credits that as one of the main reasons why she fell in love with me.

Needless to say, I am shattered over the whole ordeal. I feel blindsided. I thought we had something special. I thought there was a real connection. How could I have been so stupid? I just don't understand.

Tymoshenko released a public statement about the episode:
"My staff did not properly vet this individual before I fell in love with him. I was totally unaware of his less desirable qualities, particularly his abhorrent sexism, his typographical -womanizing, and his being a Jew. I apologize to all I have offended by maintaining a relationship with this individual. I beg for your forgiveness."

Yulia Tymoshenko, reading her statement about the break up, clearly looking distraught.

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