Al Gore's Thoughts during the 1992 Vice Presidential Debate

Moments before the debate
Al's thoughts: Come on Albert, stay focused. This will be the toughest challenge of your life. You must succeed. The future of your career, your life, and the fate of the American people depend on your performance tonight. But you are up to the task. Bury the nerves. You went to Harvard. You roomed with Tommy Lee Jones freshman year. You are the best. Let's do it!

The debate
Dan Quayle: I am Dan Quayle and I really want for you to have me vote for vice president.
Admiral James Stockdale: Who am I? What am I doing here?
Al's thoughts: Hmm, this might be easier than I thought.
...
Dan Quayle: You say potato and I say potatoe. You say tomato and I say tomatoe. Potato, potatoe, tomato, tomatoe, let's call the whole thing off.
Al's thoughts: Maybe he's an idiot savant and just hasn't found the savant part yet.
...
Admiral James Stockdale: What? Why did you wake me?
Al's thoughts: I might be too smart to be on this stag.. eww, is that drool running down his cheek? Stay strong, don't gag Al.
...
Dan Quayle: Republicans know the importance of bondage between mother and child and that includes my relationship with my mother.
Admiral James Stockdale: It's true, his mother likes it rough. Bam!
Al's thoughts: Oh no, mental picture, get it out, get it out!
...
Dan Quayle: If elected vice president, I will stop the Soviet Union from ruining Bill and Ted's excellent adventures.
Al's thoughts: I wonder if a person can feel their brain cells die.
...
Admiral James Stockdale: Well that's what we call Chinese people in my neck of the woods pussy.
Dan Quayle: I would like to injection here if I may. I love Chinese people, I grew up in Phoenix.
Al's thoughts: At least I won't have to publicly debate any more morons in my life!