New Year's Resolutions

Here are a few of my resolutions for the new year:

• To be nicer to people I care about, and meaner in fantasy sports leagues.
• To harass, harangue, and humiliate neo-nazis.
• To see more of the U.S.
• To get back to 2005 in the frequency and voracity in which I stroke my beard.
• For the "ladies" to not be as repulsed by me. I don't know why I put the quotes around ladies. That wasn't a good start.
• To talk to people a little more.
• Fix my ashy left elbow. Maybe find out why it's only the left.
• No pink sock.